WELCOME to the Captain's romantic patriots and great Irish heroes corner. A senior figure in this teeming media world approaches me. A figure so senior, in fact, that he knew Gerry Adams before he had a beard. It was when Adams was a barman, 'most assiduous and a great listener, careful observer of last orders' at the Duke of York in Belfast. So, the beard: weak chin, heavy growth? The senior figure looks around him, and then confides: 'Acne.'