Captain Moonlight: Garrick Club news

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The Independent Online
GARRICK Club news: the club, ever-mindful of the needs of its membership, a collection of endlessly self-entertaining lawyers, writers, politicians and gentleman journalists (Sir K Amis, Sir R Day, Sir P Wors thorne, Mr K Clarke, but not Mr J Paxman), with the odd actor thrown in for colour (P Eddington, B Humphries) wants to install a lift to get up to lunch, supper and the bar those on whom years of lunch, supper and the bar have taken a heavy toll. An appeal has been launched. The unkind suggest that one of those ski- lifts for the elderly that go up the side of stairs might be best; the Captain, for his part, thinks a proper ski-lift would be better - one that is like sitting on a large button mushroom. My ideal, though, is a transparent-bubble lift on the outside of the Garrick so that the less privileged can watch a flash of the famous salmon- and-cucumber tie below a face flushed with expectation or fulfilment, depending on whether it is rising or falling.