CAPTAIN MOONLIGHT: Harold's mac ... Tony's ties ... and toenails for th e Ni neties

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The Independent Online
TONY Blair's team sensitive about the leader's image? Come on: is the Pope a Catholic? Does it rain in Manchester? Does the Prince of Wales lose his temper? Does Tom Cruise have sharp teeth? Is John Major on something? Is Tony Blair a socialist?

Er, hold on. Anyway, it's that tricky business about his son's place at the London Oratory school again (you know, the opt-out also attended by the offspring of Harriet Harman and Jack Dromey, the T&G man). Last week, rumours emanating not too many pipe lengths from the Boilermakers Union were suggesting that the Oratory had derecognised blue-collar unions. Crikey. Before you could say Number 10, Tony's Den, the phones were ringing everywhere as the damage-control unit swung into action. The rumours were completely untrue. The Oratory hadn't derecognised any trade unions. It couldn't. Because, it was explained, patiently, the Oratory had never recognised trade unions in the first place. So that's all right, then.