Captain Moonlight: Taki's troubles

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The Independent Online
YOU WILL have been as shocked as I by the terrible news that someone has blown up Taki's yacht. I became even more pensive about this sad happening in Piraeus harbour when I read that the Greek multi-millionaire and Spectator columnist was not insured against acts of terrorism. There may be some hope, though, as the Captain, for one, is not entirely convinced by the terrorist theory.

Always eager to assist Inspector Knacacropolis, I have been leafing through past Taki columns. Enemies? Did Elgin take the marbles? How long have you got? Let me give you a selective list of people insulted by Taki this year: George Soros, Bill Clinton, Edwina Currie, all the nurses at Lenox Hill hospital, New York, various sailors including Sir Edward Heath and Alan Bond, Lorena Bobbit (probably not quite her style), the Kennedy family, Fay Weldon, most American televison personalities (all abused as children, allegedly), Andrea Dworkin, the American who got lashed in Singapore, the ANC, all European bureaucrats, Arabs and Sir Peregrine Worsthorne. He also admitted to pinching the bottom of Mrs Conrad Black. He thought she didn't mind, but wasn't too sure about Conrad. So there we are. All yours, Inspector.

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