Captain Moonlight: The bare necessities

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CRAZY GUY, Vladimir Zhirinovsky, but he does pull in the votes. Anybody who can persuade 15 million people to vote for him is worthy of close attention. So the Captain was most interested to see him posing for photographs with no clothes on in a Slovenian sauna last week. Is there a message here for our politicians? Is a well-turned male chest and the rest a potential vote winner?

My inquiries here show that this is a greatly under-exposed area. Teams of Moonlight picture researchers toiling round the clock produced a sadly small crop of British politicians facing the cameras unsuited, at least officially, if you get my drift. The only significant bareness we could raise belonged to Lord Hailsham, who used to be pictured regularly bathing at seaside conferences when he was Quintin Hogg.

Among prime ministers, Harold Wilson did manage to show a leg or two, on the Scillies, but Edward Heath seems to have kept his trousers on, even on board Morning Cloud. These, though, are desperate times. Mr Major should explore every avenue to popularity and respect. He has nothing to lose. Go on, John, get them off.

(Photographs omitted)