Captain Moonlight's Notebook: Say what you like about . . .

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The Independent Online
. . . Michael Mates but:

better not say it on the back of a watch

it's always hard to pick a gift for a man who has everything

he's got lots of families to spend more time with

he wouldn't dream of asking his ex-wife to take a taxi

he can always take a long Mediterranean holiday

he went a lot more quickly than Mellor or Lamont