Alexa Chung: 'As the youngest of my family, I think it's safe to say I'm the brat'

Girl About Town

Share
Related Topics

I traipsed around the West End yesterday in pre-going away clothes: the ones you wear the days before you fly away because all your good things are about to be thrown into a suitcase. These are the clothes I'm sitting in now: musty, dank, unloved and unloving in return. It's always when I'm wallowing in the dresses of yesteryear, hair unwashed, face un-made up, that I bump into somebody I know, or, worse still, am spotted by somebody I don't know. I hear "was that Alexa Chung?" Or rather: "I think that's the girl from T4."

The reason for my dreary appearance is that I have had to pack for a trip to Australia. I've been forced to haul my suitcase full of goodies with me to my parent's house in Hampshire, ready for my departure straight from here in a few days time.

Waterloo to Privett is a boring journey. Not quite long enough to get involved in a book, too long to sit alone with my thoughts. I would drive if I could but I can't.

I did once try and pass my test but I failed. I like to think this wasn't so much my fault, but more the fault of a tardy driving instructor resulting in me getting to my test five minutes late, resulting in the man testing me telling me I couldn't take said test, resulting in me calling him a moron.

When I finally did get to take the test a few weeks later it was that same moron who failed me because of "undue hesitation", which I took to mean he was still angry that I didn't fail to hesitate when insulting him the first time round.

Today when I arrived at the train station I was glad to have somebody to save me from the crippling weight of Christmas presents vs a two-week-holiday sized suitcase. I was also relieved that the rigmarole of preparation was over once more. I seem to spend my life extracting, washing and repacking the same Sonic Youth T-shirt over and over again. Maybe that's my punishment for only really liking about four of their songs. I'm basically as bad as the losers that walk around in those Ramones T-shirts from Urban Outfitters without even having had the decency to Wikipedia them.

There will forever be at least two large bags obstructing the hallway. I'm either taking a few outfits along for filming or bringing things to a photo shoot or travelling. This means I'm usually fruitlessly searching for items I've left somewhere.

This week I appear to have misplaced my black Chanel pumps, some Tom Ford sunglasses and pretty much everything I ever bought from Topshop. The ballet pumps are particularly baffling as I wear them every day and can't recall walking around shoeless at any point. It's OK, though, because for every item I lose I seem to get given something bizarre to fill its space.

Sometimes, though,I get sent something I love. This week I was over the moon to receive a pair of black wellies and a bottle of whisky. This means I can drunkenly stalk my way around a muddy field in Hampshire, surely the perfect way to spend Christmas Day.

The reality is, however, that I'll probably spend the big day squabbling over Trivial Pursuit and trying not to throw pieces of the "cheese" at my brother's head. It's funny how the family hierarchy slots back into place almost immediately. As the youngest of six I think it's fair to say I'm the brat. I'm the one who asked for a pony/ was fussy about eating meat/ always demanded attention.

This situation is polarised at Christmas time when I get to have separate gravy. If you too are vegetarian, don't be bullied by the meat eaters; don't let them wear you down. You too can have your very own gravy. Why stand for a dry Christmas dinner? After all, not only is Christmas a time for giving, it's a time for getting what you want too.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
SPONSORED FEATURES
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Clinical Lead / RGN

£40000 - £42000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

Recruitment Genius: IT Sales Consultant

£35000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This IT support company has a n...

Recruitment Genius: Works Engineer

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: A works engineer is required in a progressive ...

Recruitment Genius: Trainee Hire Manager - Tool Hire

£21000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Our client is seeking someone w...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

I don't blame parents who move to get their child into a good school

Chris Blackhurst
William Hague, addresses delegates at the Conservative party conference for the last time in his political career in Birmingham  

It’s only natural for politicians like William Hague to end up as journalists

Simon Kelner
Isis profits from destruction of antiquities by selling relics to dealers - and then blowing up the buildings they come from to conceal the evidence of looting

How Isis profits from destruction of antiquities

Robert Fisk on the terrorist group's manipulation of the market to increase the price of artefacts
Labour leadership: Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea

'If we lose touch we’ll end up with two decades of the Tories'

In an exclusive interview, Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea
Tunisia fears its Arab Spring could be reversed as the new regime becomes as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor

The Arab Spring reversed

Tunisian protesters fear that a new law will whitewash corrupt businessmen and officials, but they are finding that the new regime is becoming as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor
King Arthur: Legendary figure was real and lived most of his life in Strathclyde, academic claims

Academic claims King Arthur was real - and reveals where he lived

Dr Andrew Breeze says the legendary figure did exist – but was a general, not a king
Earth has 'lost more than half its trees' since humans first started cutting them down

Axe-wielding Man fells half the world’s trees – leaving us just 422 each

However, the number of trees may be eight times higher than previously thought
Theme parks continue to draw in thrill-seekers despite the risks - so why are we so addicted?

Why are we addicted to theme parks?

Now that Banksy has unveiled his own dystopian version, Christopher Beanland considers the ups and downs of our endless quest for amusement
Tourism in Iran: The country will soon be opening up again after years of isolation

Iran is opening up again to tourists

After years of isolation, Iran is reopening its embassies abroad. Soon, there'll be the chance for the adventurous to holiday there
10 best PS4 games

10 best PS4 games

Can’t wait for the new round of blockbusters due out this autumn? We played through last year’s offering
Transfer window: Ten things we learnt

Ten things we learnt from the transfer window

Record-breaking spending shows FFP restraint no longer applies
Migrant crisis: UN official Philippe Douste-Blazy reveals the harrowing sights he encountered among refugees arriving on Lampedusa

‘Can we really just turn away?’

Dead bodies, men drowning, women miscarrying – a senior UN figure on the horrors he has witnessed among migrants arriving on Lampedusa, and urges politicians not to underestimate our caring nature
Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger as Isis ravages centuries of history

Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger...

... and not just because of Isis vandalism
Girl on a Plane: An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack

Girl on a Plane

An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack
Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

The author of 'The Day of the Jackal' has revealed he spied for MI6 while a foreign correspondent
Markus Persson: If being that rich is so bad, why not just give it all away?

That's a bit rich

The billionaire inventor of computer game Minecraft says he is bored, lonely and isolated by his vast wealth. If it’s that bad, says Simon Kelner, why not just give it all away?
Euro 2016: Chris Coleman on course to end half a century of hurt for Wales

Coleman on course to end half a century of hurt for Wales

Wales last qualified for major tournament in 1958 but after several near misses the current crop can book place at Euro 2016 and end all the indifference