Cooper Brown: A/C list

Nursing my big Hollywood name through this movie project is starting to become a little like keeping Tiger Woods out of Hooters – it’s impossible.

Why is it that the bigger flop your career is, the bigger your ego becomes? This guy was definitely an A-list player… but that was some time ago and he seriously needs this movie to bring him back from the lower Cs. You wouldn’t think it, though, the way he behaves. I’m still in the room next to his at the hotel, but not for much longer. I’m supposedly here to stop him getting into trouble or killing himself but much more of this and I’ll be throwing him out of his minimalist window myself.

Last night, I was hoping to catch some sleep because we had a big meeting on set quite early and then a run-through of key scenes. A/C list assures me that he is going to watch a movie and go to sleep so I get into a bath and start to try to forget about stuff for a while – fat chance. Ten minutes in, the fire alarm starts blaring and I have to jump out. I run out into the hall to see A/C list lying in the corridor with only his pants on and tending a small fire he’d started using some paper and a big box of matches.

He was completely out of it on some designer downer and I had to stamp the fire out with my bare feet, grab A/C-list, drag him back into his room and then hide from the hotel staff, who had started investigations that would have made the Gestapo proud… I need a handgun… Cooper Out.

Twitter: @icooperbrown