Cooper Brown: Complaints

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The Independent Online

Well I’ve been having a fun time… not. I get a call from the powers that be to find out that I am being accused of “sexism” by the same sort of people who were bothered by the amusing banter of those two soccer commentators.

It seems that it is illegal to refer to women as “chicks” or to appreciate their asses. Well here’s the news – you’re not gonna shut the Cooperman up without a fight. There’s a time for being all sensitive and caring – that’s when you’re trying to get laid or when you’re sick and need attention. Then there’s a time for saying it as it is – that’s when you’re hanging with the guys and knocking back some brewskis. Now, the guys on Top Gear are slammed by some chat-show host for being rude to Mexicans. What makes Mexicans so goddamn special that they can’t be laughed at? I’ve been to Mexico and it’s hilarious. This country is going crazy. I thought Cameron and his lot would sort this stuff out but they are still too scared to take on the vegan brigade. I went to this office where I had to meet two bigwigs and two of the complainants. Guess what? They were both chicks... The two kaftanwearers wanted an apology and they would drop the whole matter. It was clear that I was expected to deliver this. The Cooperman is made of sterner stuff however. I refused to speak at all and just stared them off until the meeting ended. I’ve been warned that this will go further – bring it on, I fear no (wo)man… Cooper Out.

Twitter- @icooperbrown