Cooper Brown: Photographs

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The Independent Online

OK– there’s been movement on Pantsgate. A gorgeous Bentley turned up at Ben’s house and some underling picked up Duncan Bannatyne’s underpants, so all is finally sorted in that department.

Just as one situation clears, however, another looms. Ben and I went out last night to Mark Hix’s restaurant in Soho and ended up having seven too many Negronis. The rest of the evening is a blur but I have been able to follow most of what happened by looking at the photos on my BlackBerry PlayBook. I have eight snaps from the evening.

The first seems to be the buttocks of a chick. They are very hot buttocks but, sadly, they have jeans on. I think Ben snapped some random chick in the street. Then there’s one looking through the window of the Groucho Club into reception. I don’t think they let us in because the next one is in Soho House and it’s a close-up of a very pissed-off-looking Steve Coogan. I think Ben was taking the piss out of him about having his phone tapped and went too far. Then there are two more photos of Negronis on the chrome bar upstairs so we must have stayed there for a while. The last two are the problem – it appears that I somehow got into a contretemps with Howard Marks. Yes, I got nasty with Mr Nice. There’s a snap of him pushing Ben into a doorway and then one of me taken (presumably) by Ben with a bleeding fat lip. I can see the time on my Tag Monaco – 4.30am… I’m getting too old for this.

Cooper Out.

Twitter – @icooperbrown