David Lister: Ageing British rock bands never die. They just end up performing in the Kremlin

The Week in Arts

Share
+More

It was New Year at the Kremlin.

Russian president Alexander Medvedev was presiding over a splendid dinner. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin was present, along with other key officials in the Russian government. And to set the seal on one of the nights of the year in Moscow, the lights dimmed and on, to rapturous applause, came Smokie.

It was at this point, you'd think, that the members of the Seventies' Bradford pop band woke up, whispered "in your dreams" to each other, and headed down the pub for a pint of Theakston's, before entertaining the locals with some good-natured retro rock.

But, no, it really happened. Smokie appear to be one of Mr Medvedev's favourite bands (as are another British outfit of similar vintage, Deep Purple). They were at the Kremlin dinner by his personal invitation, and they are held in high esteem by Russian students, who, according to Smokie's manager, are said to have adapted one of their hits, "What Can I Do", into a drinking song called "Vodka I Do" – though that sounds a bit too neat to be true.

What I particularly treasure is the reminiscence of Smokie bassist Terry Uttley, who said that the Kremlin was showing some signs of austerity since the band last played there in 2004. He noted: "Back then, they served us wines from Joseph Stalin's personal cellar. This time it was Australian Shiraz." Well, that's showbiz, Terry. One minute you're being toasted with Stalin's best claret, the next you're performing a medley of your hits to some Aussie bulk buy.

There are conclusions to be drawn from all this. One is that President Medvedev, for all his undoubted administrative qualities, needs to get out more when it comes to appreciating British music. It is endearing that his taste is frozen in his youth when Smokie's "Living Next Door to Alice" and Deep Purple's "Black Knight" may have been purchased on the Moscow black market for an illicit party. But there is a post-Smokie world out there, a world in which even Deep Purple's most explosive riffs have been surpassed. The British Council should be trying to promote some of our newer bands on to the Kremlin playlist.

Equally, though, it's heart-warming to learn that there is a career trajectory for ageing bands, which assures they are always in demand. They live in a strange nether world, where, long forgotten in their home country, they reach out to new audiences abroad that embrace, not just adoring students, but the greatest in the land.

These Seventies survivors can now hope that there is a world leader out there somewhere who has them in his record collection and dreams of having them perform for him or her at an exclusive soirée. Age is no barrier, still less fashion. Heavy metal, punk, glam rock and all the other forgotten fads will live again in some far-off palace.

Despite the Olympics, the show should go on

Why is the theatre world panicking so much about the Olympics? A poll this week showed that 69 per cent of respondents said they would be watching the Olympics in August, which means that 31 per cent won't. And even among those 69 per cent, there are surely many who might tear themselves away from the TV for a night out at the theatre. Yet all we hear is doom and gloom, with Andrew Lloyd Webber saying this week that he will close some of his theatres while the Olympics are on. As his venues host such blockbuster musicals as Matilda and The Wizard of Oz, this is pretty bad news for West End audiences.

I suspect things won't be nearly as bad as he fears. Theatre and sport are not mutually exclusive, and we will all want a break from track and field. Besides, as Andrew Lloyd Webber knows much better than I, isn't there some defiant old saying that the show must go on?

Too much applause, too much laughter

The return of Absolutely Fabulous has proved rather more enjoyable than one might have expected, or feared. Certainly it's a decade or two removed from its zeitgeist, but the script and cast remain good, and Jennifer Saunders' eye for fashionista hyperbole remains sharp.

But how close the whole thing comes to being spoilt by the excessive laughter, and ecstatic applause, of the studio audience. Surely a once anarchic comedienne like Saunders should be blushing at the riotous applause that greets the entrances by herself and Joanna Lumley. It's the very showbiz worship that she is meant to be satirising. Cut the self-congratulation, Jennifer. You don't need it.

d.lister@independent.co.uk // twitter.com/davidlister1

React Now

Day In a Page

Read Next
Sibling rivalry: The public enemy (left) confronts his brother  

The new version of Ibsen's Public Enemy is a drama where democracy doesn't win any votes

Tom Sutcliffe
 

As Hay-on-Wye opens this week, it's time for book festivals to open a new and exciting chapter

David Lister

Johnny Marr talks relationships and reunions

He's worked with Modest Mouse, the Pet Shop Boys and Beck, to name a few, and recently released his first solo album. So why, wonders Johnny Marr, do people still hark on about The Smiths?
After the flood: From Haiti to Britain, one man has captured the devastation of our increasingly deluged lands

In pictures: After the flood

From Haiti to Britain, one man has captured the devastation of our increasingly deluged lands
Death becomes her: Meet the very modern mortician who champions 'cool' funerals

Death becomes her: A very modern mortician

Ever considered baking a loved one's remains into a cake or putting their ashes in fireworks? If so, talk to Caitlin Doughty, champion of the alternative death industry.
How long can the 'Keep Calm' trend carry on?

How long can the 'Keep Calm' trend carry on?

At first it seemed clever and cute. Then the 'Keep Calm' motif went mad, spawning endless offshoots.
The man who built Brum: A lament for the demise of John Madin's Brutalist Birmingham

John Madin: The man who built Brum

The architect's buildings were supposed to leave an indelible, futuristic mark on his beloved hometown but they are now being inexorably torn down.
School of chop: Learning the art of butchery at the Ginger Pig

School of chop: Learning the art of butchery

How do you butcher a lamb? Or make Mexican street food in a British kitchen? Christopher Hirst finds out.
James Pembroke: The man who's eaten everywhere

The man who's eaten everywhere

Few people know more about restaurants than James Pembroke, who only spent five mealtimes at home during his entire childhood.
A Berliner in 1963 – but did John F Kennedy once admire Adolf Hitler?

A Berliner in 1963 – but did John F Kennedy once admire Adolf Hitler?

The young JFK praised 'superior' Nordic races during visits to Germany
Banned Iranian director Mohammad Rasoulof to attend Cannes Film Festival 2013, his first public appearance since prison

Banned Iranian director to attend Cannes Film Festival

Mohammad Rasoulof to make his first public appearance since being imprisoned three years ago
Seeing the larger picture: Inspiring images of space

Seeing the larger picture: Inspiring images of space

An exhibition explores images how photography has shaped astronomy
Eat Spam and carry on: Wartime pamphlets could teach us a thing or two about healthy, thrifty eating

Eat Spam and carry on

Wartime pamphlets could teach us a thing or two about healthy, thrifty eating
Facial hair: Cat beards and the purrrsuit of excellence

Facial hair

Cat beards and the purrrsuit of excellence
The 10 Best salt and pepper sets

The 10 Best salt and pepper sets

Whether they're for everyday use or to make your dining table look just right, it's worth getting a stylish shaker...
Ferran Soriano: Predicting success if Manchester City 'vision' is followed

Ferran Soriano: Predicting success if Manchester City 'vision' is followed

Chief executive says trophies will come if a 'core' of suitable players is in place
Thomas Müller: We couldn't handle losing a Champions League Final again

Thomas Müller: We couldn't handle losing a Champions League Final again

The Bayern Munich forward tells Tim Rich his side have to shed chokers' tag after two recent final defeats