Dom Joly: How Canada became my dirty little secret

Bill Bryson was recently asked what country he'd like to write his next book about. He replied that he wanted to write about Canada, but when he mentioned the place to publishers they ran a mile. Unfortunately for you, I'm back here for my annual three weeks' lounging around Lake Muskoka, three hours north of Toronto. It's one of my favourite places and I spend all day zooming around in my boat getting lost in the myriad of islands.

I have to admit that I've faced the same sort of attitude about the country that Bill Bryson has encountered. I'm taking a break from filming a TV series around the world about alcohol. So far, I've done the US, Mittel-Europa and Russia. When I get back, I do three more. I wanted to do one of the remaining three on Canada but, whenever I mention it, I'm steered by the powers that be towards other destinations. One of the places I am going to is Iran, which I'd better get on with quickly as it's unlikely to be on the map for too long.

I can never work out why there is this apathetic feeling towards Canada. I think that most people think of the place as some kind of Arctic outpost of the US and cannot see the point in visiting it when you can do the same in the States but in more clement weather. Admittedly, the winters here are harsh but they have their own peculiar charm. Toronto has a huge inter-linked network of underground tunnels packed with shops and businesses most of the city retreats to in winter. But, come spring, the natives emerge, blinking into the sunlight to take advantage of the vast expanses of gorgeous wilderness.

It's possible that Canadians bring this public perception of the country on themselves. They have an inferiority complex here vis-à-vis their powerful neighbour. You can always spot a Canadian abroad as they wear their identity on their sleeves. Like Kiwis desperate to not be taken for Australians, Canadian travellers are invariably festooned with the Maple Leaf on their rucksacks, baseball caps and socks so as not to be taken for Americans. Open a Canadian newspaper, however, and there's a strong sense of having something to prove. Last week, in Canada's only quality Sunday paper, The Star, there was a two-page spread profiling every Canadian actor currently starring in major US TV shows. Extensive space is given to any Hollywood "star" with Canadian roots. There is therefore, nearly always something about Jim Carey, Mike Myers and Pamela Anderson.

So things are doubly troubling for Canadians with their current political situation. Following the local Tory's almost total wipe out in the 1993 election, the party engineered a sort of New Labour revamp and regained power in January this year. The current Prime Minister, Stephen Harper is, like Tony Blair, seen as a Bush poodle. To the chagrin of most Canadians, they have been the only country apart from the UK to support the US in its stand on the crisis in Lebanon. In a similar episode to the "open mike" conversation between Blair and Bush, Canadians were horrified to find that Bush calls Harper "Steve" in private conversation. This new closeness with the States strikes a blow to the Canadian view of themselves as an independent liberal outpost of North America.

Sadly, until general attitudes change, I don't think I'll be making a TV show over here any time soon. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise? Canada is my dirty little secret, my outpost of calm where I can retire to every year to wrestle with grizzly bears and the incredibly complicated Ontario recycling system. I certainly wouldn't make it on to Canadian TV anyway. It's saturated with rip-offs of US shows that propel you away from the tube and out into the open air. One thing's for sure - it's going to be very different from Iran. I was considering sporting a Maple Leaf when I'm over there. In the old days, it would have saved me from hostage situations. Now I'm not so sure.