Dom Joly: If Cornwall enters this century, tweet

Share
+More
Related Topics

I've been filming down in Cornwall this week. First stop was Padstein … sorry, Padstow, the little Cornish fishing village that has been totally overtaken by the TV chef Rick Stein. We ate at his famous Seafood Restaurant, which lived up to the hype and was absolutely fabulous. Our hotel, on the other hand, left a little bit to be desired. Our director of photography c hecked into his room before quickly returning to the front desk to complain that somebody had clearly died in there over the past three days. The receptionist looked shocked, not at the accusation, but as to how he had found out. Meanwhile, I tried to get on the internet. It didn't work. I turned on the telly, but only got one channel. I gave up trying to access the 21st century and had a shower … or tried to. I turned on the hot water and somewhere in the bowels of the building, something ancient and mechanical stirred. I managed to lather myself up with soap before whatever it was gave up and died. The water turned into a cold trickle and I was left having to wipe myself down with a 5in towel.

The next day, we were filming at a rather lovely stately home. The owners had made it quite plain to our location department that, given the choice, they would rather not have public riff-raff wandering around their property, but lack of finances had forced their hand. This didn't stop them from behaving like minor royalty.

I was all made up, in character and in the middle of filming, when they came down among us like a royal visit. Despite clear indications that we were in the mid-shoot, they stopped to chat with me before embarking on a circuit of our "hidden" cameramen, standing next to them and engaging them in a "so what do you do?" kind of interaction. I'm very much of the view that if you have a fabulous house and can afford it, then good for you. But if you're broke and have to open it for the great unwashed to tramp around, maybe it's time to sell up.

Next up was a rather spooky drive down misty lanes to Land's End. When we arrived, the fog was so thick we could barely find our hotel, the downstairs part of which looked promising. But upstairs it was back to Fifties Britain. Tom, one of our cameramen, best summed up the general view. When he left his room the following morning, he hung one of those signs on the door, having changed the wording so instead of "Please Clean My Room", it read "Please Update My Room." Things like this keep you going on location.

Even better was news at breakfast that one of the rooms was haunted. At first, we presumed it was the one given to Jools, our dour soundman, who had been shown into a room that even Terry Waite would have taken one look at and refused. It looked as if they had taken one booking too many and rapidly converted a broom cupboard. It turned out the ghoul had been allocated to Jess, my make-up girl, known as "Teeth" as she is the keeper of my false gnashers on set. She had not spotted the ghost, but had left her telly on all night to scare it away. I was just jealous that she had television.

The New Suffragettes

Buy the new Independent eBook - £1.99 A celebration of those who risk their lives for women's rights, a century after Emily Wilding Davison's death.

kobo Amazon Kindle

React Now

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Senior Electrical Engineering Consultant – Renewable Energy Grid Connections.

Negotiable Depending on Experience: The Green Recruitment Company: The Green R...

BREEAM Consultant

£25000 - £30000 Per Annum: The Green Recruitment Company: The Green Recruitmen...

Design Engineer - ProE, Hand Calcs

Negotiable: Progressive Recruitment: Dear Sumadhab, A growing engineering comp...

Year 6 Teacher / Year Group Leader

Negotiable: Randstad Education Ilford: We are currently recruiting for a Year ...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

This isn’t ending world hunger. It’s just a sham

Ian Birrell
 

The Pergamon Museum offers a pointed message from Berlin to Russia – give our treasures back

Mary Dejevsky
'To farm I have to rape the countryside. It’s got to be wrong': The true effect of the badger cull

The true effect of the badger cull

'To farm I have to rape the countryside. It’s got to be wrong'
Theatre review: Daniel Radcliffe gives an admirably honest performance in Michael Grandage's The Cripple of Inishmaan

First night: The Cripple of Inishmaan

Daniel Radcliffe gives an admirably honest performance in Michael Grandage's comedy
Girls Guides drop religious reference but pledge to self and the Queen

Guides drop religious reference but pledge to self and the Queen

After 103 years, organisation changes oath to welcome 'all girls, of all faiths, and none'
Steve Tongue: Joe Kinnear was one of the boys and a breath of fresh air... 21 years ago

Steve Tongue

Joe Kinnear was one of the boys and a breath of fresh air... 21 years ago
Chris Froome: Free from 'pain in neck' after Bradley Wiggins' exit

Chris Froome: Free from 'pain in neck' after Wiggins' exit

Sky's lead rider says he is in fantastic form for the Tour and happy pecking order debate is over
Hannah England: I've got the right times – now to focus on the chess

Hannah England: Keeping Track

I've got the right times – now to focus on the chess
Beards, brawn and body art

Beards, brawn and body art

Meet London’s new batch of male models
Scandi-geeks descend on Nordicana for fan-convention

Scandi-geeks descend on Nordicana for fan-convention

British love of shows such as The Bridge, Borgen and The Killing shows no sign of fading
Behind the rhetoric what is really being done to combat desertification?

The Great Green Wall of Africa,

Behind the rhetoric what is really being done to combat desertification?
Laughter Inc: the cheering growth of the chuckle industry

Laughter Inc

The cheering growth of the chuckle industry
The bad science scandal: how fact-fabrication is damaging UK's global name for research

The bad science scandal

How fact-fabrication is damaging UK's global name for research
To the manor born: The female aristocrats battling to inherit the title

Female aristocrats battle to inherit the title

A passionate protest is gathering pace among the women of Britain's aristocracy, who believe that men should no longer automatically inherit the family pile and title.
Love struck: Photographs of JFK's visit to Berlin 50 years ago reveal a nation instantly smitten

In pictures: JFK's visit to Berlin in 1963

Photographer Ulrich Mack accompanied Kennedy on the entire trip. The results are an astonishing record of a watershed moment.
Eat shoots and leaves: Mark Hix gets creative with fresh peas, mangetouts and sugar snaps

Mark Hix gets creative with English peas

English peas and their offsprings, such as mangetouts and sugar snaps, are great tossed into a salad, says our chef.
Ceviche with a smile: Chef Martin Morales has turned South America's elegant cuisine into one of London's hottest food trends

Chef Martin Morales: Ceviche with a smile

Morales has turned South America's elegant cuisine into one of London's hottest food trends