Dom Joly: If Cornwall enters this century, tweet

Share
+More
Related Topics

I've been filming down in Cornwall this week. First stop was Padstein … sorry, Padstow, the little Cornish fishing village that has been totally overtaken by the TV chef Rick Stein. We ate at his famous Seafood Restaurant, which lived up to the hype and was absolutely fabulous. Our hotel, on the other hand, left a little bit to be desired. Our director of photography c hecked into his room before quickly returning to the front desk to complain that somebody had clearly died in there over the past three days. The receptionist looked shocked, not at the accusation, but as to how he had found out. Meanwhile, I tried to get on the internet. It didn't work. I turned on the telly, but only got one channel. I gave up trying to access the 21st century and had a shower … or tried to. I turned on the hot water and somewhere in the bowels of the building, something ancient and mechanical stirred. I managed to lather myself up with soap before whatever it was gave up and died. The water turned into a cold trickle and I was left having to wipe myself down with a 5in towel.

The next day, we were filming at a rather lovely stately home. The owners had made it quite plain to our location department that, given the choice, they would rather not have public riff-raff wandering around their property, but lack of finances had forced their hand. This didn't stop them from behaving like minor royalty.

I was all made up, in character and in the middle of filming, when they came down among us like a royal visit. Despite clear indications that we were in the mid-shoot, they stopped to chat with me before embarking on a circuit of our "hidden" cameramen, standing next to them and engaging them in a "so what do you do?" kind of interaction. I'm very much of the view that if you have a fabulous house and can afford it, then good for you. But if you're broke and have to open it for the great unwashed to tramp around, maybe it's time to sell up.

Next up was a rather spooky drive down misty lanes to Land's End. When we arrived, the fog was so thick we could barely find our hotel, the downstairs part of which looked promising. But upstairs it was back to Fifties Britain. Tom, one of our cameramen, best summed up the general view. When he left his room the following morning, he hung one of those signs on the door, having changed the wording so instead of "Please Clean My Room", it read "Please Update My Room." Things like this keep you going on location.

Even better was news at breakfast that one of the rooms was haunted. At first, we presumed it was the one given to Jools, our dour soundman, who had been shown into a room that even Terry Waite would have taken one look at and refused. It looked as if they had taken one booking too many and rapidly converted a broom cupboard. It turned out the ghoul had been allocated to Jess, my make-up girl, known as "Teeth" as she is the keeper of my false gnashers on set. She had not spotted the ghost, but had left her telly on all night to scare it away. I was just jealous that she had television.

React Now

Day In a Page

Read Next
Brave Ingrid engaged a man holding a meat cleaver in conversation until police arrived  

The bravery of women shames men

Janet Street-Porter
Relishing the challenge: Najmaldin Karim in his Kirkuk office  

'Baghdad likes to live from crisis to crisis': Civil war looms in Iraq

Patrick Cockburn
Andrew Mitchell: 'It's no good feeling hard done by'

Andrew Mitchell: 'It's no good feeling hard done by'

In his first interview since 'plebgate', the former Chief Whip opens up just enough to concede that, in politics, you have to take the rough with the smooth
Corruption and the FCO: Blue skies, white sands, dark clouds

Corruption and the FCO: Blue skies, white sands, dark clouds

Special report: Met police call for criminal inquiry into former diplomat's Cayman Islands rule
Fallen angel: Winona Ryder on bouncing back from her decade in the wilderness

Fallen angel: Winona Ryder bounces back

She owned the 1990s... but then she disappeared. Now, Ms Ryder is back with quite the bang in her latest role, as the wife of a notorious real-life Mob hitman.
Roman Polanski shakes Cannes Film Festival

Roman Polanski shakes Cannes Film Festival

The director's new film, 'Venus in Fur', is one of the raciest on offer
Rev Richard Coles: 'I don’t have any concerns that God is cross with me for being gay and eventually the Church won’t either'

Rev Richard Coles on the Church and homosexuality

The mellifluous, erudite and witty Coles is the nation's most pop-culture-friendly priest
'Baghdad likes to live from crisis to crisis': Civil war looms in Iraq

Patrick Cockburn: Civil war looms in Iraq

The governor of Kirkuk - one of the country's most violent but successful provinces - fears the worst
Written on the body: Tattooists at pains to point out their artistic credentials

Written on the body

Tattooists at pains to point out their artistic credentials
Conquering Everest: 60 facts about the world's tallest mountain

Conquering Everest: 60 facts about the world's tallest mountain

The IoS marks the sixtieth anniversary of Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay first reaching the peak of the highest mountain on Earth
A new, and irreversible, Dust Bowl looms

Rupert Cornwell: A new, and irreversible, Dust Bowl looms

The destructive power of tornadoes will be as nothing once the Great Plains' vast underground water reserve dries up
Every creature's needless death diminshes us all

Philip Hoare: Every creature's needless death diminishes us all

A 60 per cent decline in our national species should alarm us, yet few of us act. But to mind more about animals would reflect well on society
Killing with kindness: Burma's religious battleground - and the monks at the heart of it

Killing with kindness: Burma's religious battleground

Six years ago, the world cheered the monks behind Burma’s Saffron Revolution. Now, a horrific new eruption of religious slaughter is being blamed on a 'Buddhist Bin Laden'.
Let's take it outside: Bill Granger's Bank Holiday feast

Let's take it outside: Bill Granger's Bank Holiday feast

You can’t always depend on the weather – but you can avoid the pitfalls of the British barbecue by preparing an elaborate outdoor feast indoors ahead of time...
The Calvin report: Stirring Champions League final shows how far English game must advance

The Calvin report

Stirring Champions League final shows how far English game must advance
10 big questions for the British & Irish Lions to answer

10 big questions for the British & Irish Lions to answer

Warren Gatland's squad fly Down Under aiming to do justice to the expectations – and hoping the Wallabies stay in the pub
The Last Word: Golf must end the hypocrisy before its halo slips totally

The Last Word

Golf must end the hypocrisy before its halo slips totally