Dom Joly: It's hectic at the Ministry of Pointless Annoyance

Share
Related Topics

As both the year and the decade draw to an end and we leave the terribly named "Noughties" for the "Teen" years, one is drawn to reflection on things past. One is mainly drawn to said reflection, because one is bloody busy trying to find some bloody dinosaur toy that is sold out all over the country. One is, therefore, going to give you a list of the things one has loved and hated this year.

1. The low-energy light bulb

I'm sure that this is doing wonders for the polar bears but it has lowered the amount of available light in my house by about 30 per cent. Soon people will flock to houses whose owners have stockpiled "illegal" bulbs. They will bask in the glow of brightly lit parties – parties where you can read and make out who everyone is, like in the good old days when there were polar bears that you had to shoot if they approached you.

2. The Thick of It

I never thought there would be something British to rival my devotion to Curb Your Enthusiasm but then along came this seminal third series and all was good in the world. For Olympian swearing and devastating deconstruction of the essential pointlessness of power- there's nothing that comes close.

3. Florence and the Machine

I can try to pretend that all sorts of bands were my favourite this year but my iTunes doesn't lie. I checked my top 25 most played tracks and three of the top five were from Florence and the Machine's wonderful album Lungs. I totally fell in love with Florence, her Kate Bush-style crazy dancing and the unbelievably powerful songs on this album. Truly, 2009 was the year of the kooky girl in music from Lady Gaga to La Roux and Stacey Solomon to the divine Florence.

4. Sarah Palin's resignation speech as Governor of Alaska

If you missed this then you really need to check it out on YouTube. It is Palin at her absolutely most incoherent. She tends to confuse blind stupidity with "folksiness" and you could see that even the people surrounding the podium were looking concerned at what she was going to say next. God help us if she ever becomes president but I secretly hope she runs, as I'm totally addicted to her car-crash media appearances.

5. Modern Warfare 2

Quite simply the best computer game in history.

6. Increased pointless announcements on trains

I don't know if there has been an edict issued somewhere from the Ministry of Pointless Annoyance but there has definitely been more rubbish over the train Tannoys this year. Every time we pull away from a station a disembodied voice announces that we are on a train, going to our destination, that you can buy food and drink (and then tells you everything available) in the buffet car. Then you are warned to look out for bombs and if you find one, not to be a hero and try to defuse it yourself but to let the conductor know. He will halt the train and run away screaming, bringing the entire train network to a halt for the day.

7. Strictly Come Dancing

I hate Strictly Come Dancing.

8. Zombieland

I don't even like horror/zombie films; they're really not my bag. I found myself at a loose end one afternoon in a rainy Cardiff and ducked into the cinema and saw this. I was hooked from the first ultra slow-motion shots and hung around for the ride. There is also a fabulous "secret" cameo and a wonderful soundtrack. My film of the year.

9. Cambodia

I went there as research for my forthcoming book, The Dark Tourist (already a favourite of mine in 2010). I totally and utterly fell in love with the place. I don't want you going there, though. You'll hate it; it's really rubbish; stay away.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Reach Volunteering: Financial Trustee and Company Secretary

Voluntary Only - Expenses Reimbursed: Reach Volunteering: A trustee (company d...

Recruitment Genius: Senior Project Manager

£45000 - £65000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is a fantastic opportunity...

Recruitment Genius: Shopfitter

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This is an opportunity to join a successful an...

Recruitment Genius: Digital Sales Account Manager

£25000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Digital Sales Account Manager...

Day In a Page

Read Next
UK Border Control  

Do you think I'm feckless? I worked for two years in the Netherlands

David Ryan
Bob Geldof  

Ebola is a political AND a medical disease

Paul Vallely
Mau Mau uprising: Kenyans still waiting for justice join class action over Britain's role in the emergency

Kenyans still waiting for justice over Mau Mau uprising

Thousands join class action over Britain's role in the emergency
Isis in Iraq: The trauma of the last six months has overwhelmed the remaining Christians in the country

The last Christians in Iraq

After 2,000 years, a community will try anything – including pretending to convert to Islam – to avoid losing everything, says Patrick Cockburn
Black Friday: Helpful discounts for Christmas shoppers, or cynical marketing by desperate retailers?

Helpful discounts for Christmas shoppers, or cynical marketing by desperate retailers?

Britain braced for Black Friday
Bill Cosby's persona goes from America's dad to date-rape drugs

From America's dad to date-rape drugs

Stories of Bill Cosby's alleged sexual assaults may have circulated widely in Hollywood, but they came as a shock to fans, says Rupert Cornwell
Clare Balding: 'Women's sport is kicking off at last'

Clare Balding: 'Women's sport is kicking off at last'

As fans flock to see England women's Wembley debut against Germany, the TV presenter on an exciting 'sea change'
Oh come, all ye multi-faithful: The Christmas jumper is in fashion, but should you wear your religion on your sleeve?

Oh come, all ye multi-faithful

The Christmas jumper is in fashion, but should you wear your religion on your sleeve?
Dr Charles Heatley: The GP off to do battle in the war against Ebola

The GP off to do battle in the war against Ebola

Dr Charles Heatley on joining the NHS volunteers' team bound for Sierra Leone
Flogging vlogging: First video bloggers conquered YouTube. Now they want us to buy their books

Flogging vlogging

First video bloggers conquered YouTube. Now they want us to buy their books
Saturday Night Live vs The Daily Show: US channels wage comedy star wars

Saturday Night Live vs The Daily Show

US channels wage comedy star wars
When is a wine made in Piedmont not a Piemonte wine? When EU rules make Italian vineyards invisible

When is a wine made in Piedmont not a Piemonte wine?

When EU rules make Italian vineyards invisible
Look what's mushrooming now! Meat-free recipes and food scandals help one growing sector

Look what's mushrooming now!

Meat-free recipes and food scandals help one growing sector
Neil Findlay is more a pink shrimp than a red firebrand

More a pink shrimp than a red firebrand

The vilification of the potential Scottish Labour leader Neil Findlay shows how one-note politics is today, says DJ Taylor
Bill Granger recipes: Tenderstem broccoli omelette; Fried eggs with Mexican-style tomato and chilli sauce; Pan-fried cavolo nero with soft-boiled egg

Oeuf quake

Bill Granger's cracking egg recipes
Terry Venables: Wayne Rooney is roaring again and the world knows that England are back

Terry Venables column

Wayne Rooney is roaring again and the world knows that England are back
Michael Calvin: Abject leadership is allowing football’s age-old sores to fester

Abject leadership is allowing football’s age-old sores to fester

Those at the top are allowing the same issues to go unchallenged, says Michael Calvin