Dom Joly: Spouse schlepping, glacial golf or hubcap hurlin' – you choose

Weird World of Sport: The slogan of the Redneck Games is 'everyone and their butt crack is welcome

Share
Related Topics

I thought that I should kick off the year by returning to the roots of what this column was supposed to be all about – very weird sports. I've decided to find the three weirdest events and then ask you, my beloved reader(s) to vote for which one I should take part in. After much research involving typing in the words "weird sports" into a search engine I have come up with the following:



Wife Carrying – This was invented in Finland. I've been there and can understand the need to come up with something to do. It's one of the dullest countries that I've ever visited.

The Finns, however, are not a slight nation and the idea of carrying some of the huge Amazons that I saw striding the streets of Helsinki fills me with dread.

As far as I can make out, competitors put their wives over their heads – one leg on each side with the bum facing forward and then have to complete a fiendish obstacle course in the quickest time. The course is 253 metres and situated in the town of Sonkajärvi.

The event apparently has its origins in the 19th century when the practice of abducting local women was popular. Under spoilsport modern Finnish law this pastime is now illegal so the locals have kept the tradition alive in the form of the wife-carrying race. The winner gets his wife's weight in beer. This could be a very good event for me as I happen to have a very small wife.



Ice Golf – This takes place in Greenland and is self-explanatory. There is a world championship held each year and enterprising golfers hack their way through glaciers and snow in temperatures as low as -50c. The ball is orange and there is the risk of losing it to a polar bear.

Having played a couple of rounds down in the Cotswolds over Christmas, I think I'm pretty prepared for this one. It was minus six last week and I could barely hold my club so I'm not sure how it works in Greenland but I'm sure that they've got it organised.

If I'm honest, I'm somewhat of a fair-weather golfer but this does sound interesting. I've always wanted to go to Greenland but had absolutely no reason to do so until now.



The Redneck Games – Originally set up as a jokey alternative to the Atlanta Olympics this event is now huge in the United States. Sports include hurling toilet seats, bobbin' for pigs' feet and hubcap hurlin'. The slogan for the games is "everyone and their butt crack is welcome". I partake in several UK Redneck activities in the Cotswolds. I do quite a lot of cow-tipping, my fair share of cow-pat frisbee and there's the cheese rolling that a lady named Zoe has paid a considerable sum to take part in with me.

The problem is that rednecks don't like us Brits. I've had three very hairy run-ins with groups of them in Alabama and Mississippi. Unlike the presenters of Top Gear, I wasn't driving through their patch in cars with things like "man love" and "Hilary for president" on them. That would be just stupid. Once I had the temerity to walk into a gas station outside Jackson, Mississippi, and ask for the "loo". I was very nearly lynched.

Another time it was something about my clothing that set off a bearded man in Birmingham, Alabama. He punched me very hard in the face about 10 seconds after I'd walked into a bar. Still, I'm sure the Redneck games will be fun(ish).



The weirdest "sport" I've done so far was in New Zealand and it consited of being strapped to a huge rocket that was suspended on a wire over a steep ravine and then fired off to swing like some huge crazy pendulum for 10 uncontrolled minutes.

Looking back I'm not even sure if it was a sport per se. It was more an activity for people with suicidal inclinations. There are a lot of these type of things in New Zealand where the boredom threshold is high. It might be worth me revisiting and doing a "weird world" special from there.

Email your votes for which of the above three you fancy me doing to Sport@Independent.co.uk.

Honours even, only because I can't remember what they all mean

Excellent to see all the Olympics stars getting their Honours last week. I'm still a little confused about the hierarchy though. If you're knighted then that's obviously brilliant as your wife finally becomes a "lady" and everyone can call you "sir" and you get top tables in restaurants. The CBE, MBE and OBE, however, are a little vaguer. First, it's much more difficult to drop your titles into a dinner reservation – "Yes, hello can I book a table for two in the name of Hamilton, Lewis Hamilton...MBE?" Also, there is a difference between MBE and CBE but I can never remember what. I think the OBE is supposed to be a little, how can I put this, classier than the MBE. The CBE is clearly a "top table" one for posh events like sailing – it seems however, that the Queen thinks Rebecca Adlington (OBE) is posher than Christine Ohuruogu (MBE). I'd love to be in those decision meetings...

Darts goes toe-to-toe for Olympics spot...

There are calls for darts to be an Olympic sport. The ancient sport of toe wrestling has also applied. Best of luck to both of them...

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Tradewind Recruitment: Phase Co-ordinator for Foundation and Key Stage 1

Negotiable: Tradewind Recruitment: Phase Co-ordinator for Foundation and Key S...

Tradewind Recruitment: SEN Teacher

Negotiable: Tradewind Recruitment: SEN Teacher We have a fantastic special n...

Tradewind Recruitment: History Teacher

Negotiable: Tradewind Recruitment: My client is an 11-18 all ability co-educat...

Tradewind Recruitment: Year 6 Teacher

£100 - £150 per day: Tradewind Recruitment: Year 6 Teacher Birmingham Jan 2015...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

If I were Prime Minister: Every privatised corner of the NHS would be taken back into public ownership

Philip Pullman
 

Errors & Omissions: Magna Carta, sexing bishops and ministerial aides

John Rentoul
Isis hostage crisis: The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power

Isis hostage crisis

The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power, says Robert Fisk
Missing salvage expert who found $50m of sunken treasure before disappearing, tracked down at last

The runaway buccaneers and the ship full of gold

Salvage expert Tommy Thompson found sunken treasure worth millions. Then he vanished... until now
Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Maverick artist Grayson Perry backs our campaign
Assisted Dying Bill: I want to be able to decide about my own death - I want to have control of my life

Assisted Dying Bill: 'I want control of my life'

This week the Assisted Dying Bill is debated in the Lords. Virginia Ironside, who has already made plans for her own self-deliverance, argues that it's time we allowed people a humane, compassionate death
Move over, kale - cabbage is the new rising star

Cabbage is king again

Sophie Morris banishes thoughts of soggy school dinners and turns over a new leaf
11 best winter skin treats

Give your moisturiser a helping hand: 11 best winter skin treats

Get an extra boost of nourishment from one of these hard-working products
Paul Scholes column: The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him

Paul Scholes column

The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him
Frank Warren column: No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans

Frank Warren's Ringside

No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans
Isis hostage crisis: Militant group stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

Isis stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

The jihadis are being squeezed militarily and economically, but there is no sign of an implosion, says Patrick Cockburn
Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action

Virtual reality: Seeing is believing

Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action
Homeless Veterans appeal: MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’

Homeless Veterans appeal

MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’ to help
Larry David, Steve Coogan and other comedians share stories of depression in new documentary

Comedians share stories of depression

The director of the new documentary, Kevin Pollak, tells Jessica Barrett how he got them to talk
Has The Archers lost the plot with it's spicy storylines?

Has The Archers lost the plot?

A growing number of listeners are voicing their discontent over the rural soap's spicy storylines; so loudly that even the BBC's director-general seems worried, says Simon Kelner
English Heritage adds 14 post-war office buildings to its protected lists

14 office buildings added to protected lists

Christopher Beanland explores the underrated appeal of these palaces of pen-pushing
Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Scientists unearthed the cranial fragments from Manot Cave in West Galilee