John Walsh: The habits some monks get into...

BTW...

Share
Related Topics

* Vatican spoilsports have cracked down on a Roman monastery. Twenty monks from Santa Croce Basilica – built to house nails from the True Cross – were booted out after evidence was found of "lifestyles... probably not in keeping with that of a monk". Such as? Well, their abbot was a former fashion designer with a cult following. Among their showbiz worshippers was Madonna (no, not the mother of God, duh), and a former nightclub dancer used to entertain them with her "holy dance", writhing before the altar clutching a crucifix. Apart from that, I can't see what they're complaining about.

* Fans of Pulp Fiction will recall the dialogue between Jules and Vincent about whether giving your boss's wife a foot massage is tantamount to having sex, and as likely to get you into trouble. A similar conversation will be heard in a French court when a cabinet minister, Georges Tron, faces accusations of sexual harrassment by two women employees. He allegedly offered them regular "therapeutic reflexology sessions" on their feet. They claim he was up to no good. We wait to see whether the court agrees with Jules that sex and foot masaging are indeed in the same ballpark.

* Scientists at Imperial College London have emerged after three months of measuring an electron with hot news: it's round. Rounder than a tennis ball, a hula hoop or Ken Clarke's tummy, this is one really round object. It's the roundest thing around. If it were the size of the solar system, any deviation from perfect roundiosity would be less than a hair's breadth. "We have measured the shape very precisely," said the team leader, "It is very, very round." Got that? No way was that three months wasted.

* A precedent has been set in a Chicago court. During a small-claims dispute over a used car, attorney Thomas Gooch noticed jurors' eyes were on the woman with a huge cleavage beside him. He accused his rival lawyer of planting her there to distract the jury from his address. "I like large breasts," he confessed, "but I object to somebody I don't think is a qualified paralegal sitting at the counsel table... dressed in such a fashion as to draw attention to herself." He asked the judge to banish her, but his rival proved the woman was his "paralegal assistant" and she stayed. Courtrooms could be much more fun in future.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: Senior Marketing Executive- City of London, Old Street

£40000 - £43000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: Senior Marketing Executiv...

Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager

£40000 - £43000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: An international organisa...

Ashdown Group: Internal Recruiter -Rugby, Warwickshire

£25000 - £30000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Internal Recruiter -Rugby, Warwicksh...

Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager/Marketing Controller (Financial Services)

£70000 - £75000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager/Marketi...

Day In a Page

Read Next
The traditional Boxing Day hunt in Lacock  

For foxes' sake: Don't let the bloody tradition of the Boxing Day hunt return

Mimi Bekhechi
 

Letter from the Deputy Editor: i’s Review of the Year

Andrew Webster
A Christmas without hope: Fears grow in Gaza that the conflict with Israel will soon reignite

Christmas without hope

Gaza fears grow that conflict with Israel will soon reignite
After 150 years, you can finally visit the grisliest museum in the country

The 'Black Museum'

After 150 years, you can finally visit Britain's grisliest museum
No ho-ho-hos with Nick Frost's badass Santa

No ho-ho-hos with Nick Frost's badass Santa

Doctor Who Christmas Special TV review
Chilly Christmas: Swimmers take festive dip for charity

Chilly Christmas

Swimmers dive into freezing British waters for charity
Veterans' hostel 'overwhelmed by kindness' for festive dinner

Homeless Veterans appeal

In 2010, Sgt Gary Jamieson stepped on an IED in Afghanistan and lost his legs and an arm. He reveals what, and who, helped him to make a remarkable recovery
Isis in Iraq: Yazidi girls killing themselves to escape rape and imprisonment by militants

'Jilan killed herself in the bathroom. She cut her wrists and hanged herself'

Yazidi girls killing themselves to escape rape and imprisonment
Ed Balls interview: 'If I think about the deficit when I'm playing the piano, it all goes wrong'

Ed Balls interview

'If I think about the deficit when I'm playing the piano, it all goes wrong'
He's behind you, dude!

US stars in UK panto

From David Hasselhoff to Jerry Hall
Grace Dent's Christmas Quiz: What are you – a festive curmudgeon or top of the tree?

Grace Dent's Christmas Quiz

What are you – a festive curmudgeon or top of the tree?
Nasa planning to build cloud cities in airships above Venus

Nasa planning to build cloud cities in airships above Venus

Planet’s surface is inhospitable to humans but 30 miles above it is almost perfect
Surrounded by high-rise flats is a little house filled with Lebanon’s history - clocks, rifles, frogmen’s uniforms and colonial helmets

Clocks, rifles, swords, frogmen’s uniforms

Surrounded by high-rise flats is a little house filled with Lebanon’s history
Return to Gaza: Four months on, the wounds left by Israel's bombardment have not yet healed

Four months after the bombardment, Gaza’s wounds are yet to heal

Kim Sengupta is reunited with a man whose plight mirrors the suffering of the Palestinian people
Gastric surgery: Is it really the answer to the UK's obesity epidemic?

Is gastric surgery really the answer to the UK's obesity epidemic?

Critics argue that it’s crazy to operate on healthy people just to stop them eating
Homeless Veterans appeal: Christmas charity auction Part 2 - now LIVE

Homeless Veterans appeal: Christmas charity auction

Bid on original art, or trips of a lifetime to Africa or the 'Corrie' set, and help Homeless Veterans
Pantomime rings the changes to welcome autistic theatre-goers

Autism-friendly theatre

Pantomime leads the pack in quest to welcome all