John Walsh: The habits some monks get into...

BTW...

Share
Related Topics

* Vatican spoilsports have cracked down on a Roman monastery. Twenty monks from Santa Croce Basilica – built to house nails from the True Cross – were booted out after evidence was found of "lifestyles... probably not in keeping with that of a monk". Such as? Well, their abbot was a former fashion designer with a cult following. Among their showbiz worshippers was Madonna (no, not the mother of God, duh), and a former nightclub dancer used to entertain them with her "holy dance", writhing before the altar clutching a crucifix. Apart from that, I can't see what they're complaining about.

* Fans of Pulp Fiction will recall the dialogue between Jules and Vincent about whether giving your boss's wife a foot massage is tantamount to having sex, and as likely to get you into trouble. A similar conversation will be heard in a French court when a cabinet minister, Georges Tron, faces accusations of sexual harrassment by two women employees. He allegedly offered them regular "therapeutic reflexology sessions" on their feet. They claim he was up to no good. We wait to see whether the court agrees with Jules that sex and foot masaging are indeed in the same ballpark.

* Scientists at Imperial College London have emerged after three months of measuring an electron with hot news: it's round. Rounder than a tennis ball, a hula hoop or Ken Clarke's tummy, this is one really round object. It's the roundest thing around. If it were the size of the solar system, any deviation from perfect roundiosity would be less than a hair's breadth. "We have measured the shape very precisely," said the team leader, "It is very, very round." Got that? No way was that three months wasted.

* A precedent has been set in a Chicago court. During a small-claims dispute over a used car, attorney Thomas Gooch noticed jurors' eyes were on the woman with a huge cleavage beside him. He accused his rival lawyer of planting her there to distract the jury from his address. "I like large breasts," he confessed, "but I object to somebody I don't think is a qualified paralegal sitting at the counsel table... dressed in such a fashion as to draw attention to herself." He asked the judge to banish her, but his rival proved the woman was his "paralegal assistant" and she stayed. Courtrooms could be much more fun in future.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

HLTA - Higher Level Teaching Assistant

£70 - £90 per day: Randstad Education Birmingham: Higher Level Teaching Assist...

Science Teacher

£21000 - £35000 per annum: Randstad Education Cambridge: Science teacher requi...

Deputy Head of Science

£36000 - £60000 per annum: Randstad Education Southampton: Our client are a we...

IT Teacher

£22000 - £32000 per annum + TLR: Randstad Education Southampton: Our client is...

Day In a Page

Read Next
US Secretary of State John Kerry  

When only 4 per cent of those killed by US drone strikes care named members of al-Qaeda, it's hard to trust American foreign policy

Abigail Fielding-Smith
Countries that have relaxed sex-worker laws have seen a fall in Aids infections but no increase in street-based prostitution  

As an ex prostitute, I urge all the political parties to commit to the Sex Buyer Law

Crystal
Indiana serial killer? Man arrested for murdering teenage prostitute confesses to six other murders - and police fear there could be many more

A new American serial killer?

Police fear man arrested for murder of teen prostitute could be responsible for killing spree dating back 20 years
Sweetie, the fake 10-year-old girl designed to catch online predators, claims her first scalp

Sting to trap paedophiles may not carry weight in UK courts

Computer image of ‘Sweetie’ represented entrapment, experts say
Fukushima nuclear crisis: Evacuees still stuck in cramped emergency housing three years on - and may never return home

Return to Fukushima – a land they will never call home again

Evacuees still stuck in cramped emergency housing three years on from nuclear disaster
Wildlife Photographer of the Year: Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize

Wildlife Photographer of the Year

Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize
Online petitions: Sign here to change the world

Want to change the world? Just sign here

The proliferation of online petitions allows us to register our protests at the touch of a button. But do they change anything?
Ed Sheeran hits back after being labelled too boring to headline festivals

'You need me, I don’t need you'

Ed Sheeran hits back after being labelled too boring to headline festivals
How to Get Away with Murder: Shonda Rhimes reinvents the legal drama

How to Get Away with Murder

Shonda Rhimes reinvents the legal drama
A cup of tea is every worker's right

Hard to swallow

Three hospitals in Leicester have banned their staff from drinking tea and coffee in public areas. Christopher Hirst explains why he thinks that a cuppa is every worker's right
Which animals are nearly extinct?

Which animals are nearly extinct?

Conservationists in Kenya are in mourning after the death of a white northern rhino, which has left the species with a single male. These are the other species on the brink
12 best children's shoes

Perfect for leaf-kicking: 12 best children's shoes

Find footwear perfect to keep kids' feet protected this autumn
Anderlecht vs Arsenal: Gunners' ray of light Aaron Ramsey shines again

Arsenal’s ray of light ready to shine again

Aaron Ramsey’s injury record has prompted a club investigation. For now, the midfielder is just happy to be fit to face Anderlecht in the Champions League
Comment: David Moyes' show of sensitivity thrown back in his face by former Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson

Moyes’ show of sensitivity thrown back in his face... by Ferguson

Manchester United legend tramples on successor who resisted criticising his inheritance
Two super-sized ships have cruised into British waters, but how big can these behemoths get?

Super-sized ships: How big can they get?

Two of the largest vessels in the world cruised into UK waters last week
British doctors on brink of 'cure' for paralysis with spinal cord treatment

British doctors on brink of cure for paralysis

Sufferers can now be offered the possibility of cure thanks to a revolutionary implant of regenerative cells
Ranked seventh in world’s best tourist cities - not London, or Edinburgh, but Salisbury

Lonely Planet’s Best in Travel 2015

UK city beats Vienna, Paris and New York to be ranked seventh in world’s best tourist destinations - but it's not London