John Walsh: The lethal bullets of celebration

Click to follow
The Independent Online

It's a potentially lethal problem we haven't seen before – death by enthusiasm. More than 12 people were injured, and one boy killed, in Tripoli last week by bullets fired in celebration falling out of the sky. The combination of arms for all – there are 15 million Kalashnikovs and machine-guns in Libya – plus no more enemies to shoot, plus joy at victory means spent bullets regularly rain down. "In physics, what goes up will come down," said a Tripoli medic, sagely. But can the rebels be persuaded to use party poppers?

* If there's a Person Most Desperate For Attention award around, Sally Bercow may be pipped for it by John Mosley of Norwich. He's had 150 Where's Wally? figures tattooed on his back, including Star Wars characters, Vikings, cowboys, pirates and a chap carrying a sabre-tooth tiger. Mosley did it to raise £2000 for charity, but is now stuck with it. "It will be a talking point for years to come," he says, "People will be able to look at my back and have fun searching for Wally." But what about the ones crying "There's Wally!" while pointing at Mr Mosley's front?

* While we're in the children's department – a theme park in China is trying to cash in on the Angry Birds video game, in which players catapult birds at evil green pigs. The organisers at Changsha Park supplied punters with toy birds, slingshots and balloon-pig targets, but sadly, Rovio, the Finnish computer firm which owns the game, stepped in claiming permission had not been granted, and closed it own. They hope to flog the concept to Disney, you see, and don't want any down-market spoilers.

* Horrible story 1: Ivan L, a 21-year-old Russian chef, has confessed to luring a victim to his flat, killing him, making burgers and sausages from his flesh and eating them. Horrible story 2: Peter Bryan, a Broadmoor , has told staff he killed a fellow inmate because he wanted to eat him. Meanwhile the papers are full of stories of "in vitro meat" created in labs, which will be coming to our tables soon. A professor at the World Health Organisation predicts that meat consumption will double by 2050 and "in vitro meat will be the only choice left". Oh I don't know...