A Question of Port (and beer, wine and spirits)

'It has been said that the quickest way to an Englishman's heart is through his liver'

Today I am bringing you another of our popular lessons in the series English as Fourth, Fifth or Sixth Language; this one teaches you how to offer someone a drink in English.

Today I am bringing you another of our popular lessons in the series English as Fourth, Fifth or Sixth Language; this one teaches you how to offer someone a drink in English.

Giving and receiving drinks is the supreme social custom in Britain - it has been said that the quickest way to an Englishman's heart (or a Welshman's, Scotsman's or Irishman's) is through his liver - so it is important to master as many as possible of the formulae that enable you to put a glass in his hand and say cheers. Here are more than three score of the best for you to learn.

What's yours?

What's your poison?

Care to join me?

Care for a drink?

Care for a noggin?

Care for a wee dram?

Time for a quick one?

Shall we get one in?

Shall we line them up?

Shall we set them up?

I think the sun's over the yardarm.

Wet your whistle?

Bend the elbow?

Get one inside you?

Get yourself outside one?

I feel a thirst coming on.

Can I twist your arm ....?

Care for a gargle?

...hair of the dog...

...other half...

...a quick grog...

...a small tincture...

...What your right arm's for?

Sherry, vicar?

One for the road?

The other half?

A small mouthwash?

Your glass is empty.

Shall I freshen it for you?

Another little sherbert?

Another libation?

One more can't hurt

It'll put hair on your chest

What's your tipple?

Wouldst thou quaff some wine?

Or sup some ale?

What tickles your fancy?

What is your pleasure?

A quick nip?

A tot?

A swig?

A snifter?

A snorter?

A stirrup-cup?

A beaker full of the warm south, full of the true, the blushful Hippocrene?

This is my shout

I'll put my hand in my pocket

I'm that dry...

Whose round is it?

I'll get this...

No, let me...

No, let me do this...

No, let me handle this one...

No, I insist...

Oh, very well...

No, I insist...

Same again?

More of the same?

Something stronger?

Just the half..?

Straight glass..?

Handle ..?

I'm sorry.

Did I spill that?

Did I spill that over you?

I'm very sorry.

I'm very sorry.

Look, I've said I'm sorry.

I'm sure it'll dry out.

Let me give you a wipe down...

All right!

Keep your hair on!

Who're you looking at, Jimmy?

Put your fists down.

It's only a pint.

Let me get you another.

I'll buy you another.

No, I insist.

No, let me do the honours...

It would be a pleasure.

What's yours?

What's your poison?

Now go back to the beginning and start again as often as you like...