Gorgeous George for London Mayor

Share
Related Topics

Where are they now? That is the delicate question which we are sometimes forced to ask about all those people who were, once, on every front page every day, and then suddenly vanished.

Where are they now? That is the delicate question which we are sometimes forced to ask about all those people who were, once, on every front page every day, and then suddenly vanished.

Names like General Pinochet. And Michael Barrymore. And O J Simpson. And Madonna. (No, as you were, not Madonna. Madonna never goes away. She really belongs in another feature called "Gosh, Are They Still Here?")

So - where are they now?

Andrew Motion

Andrew Motion is busy working on a poem about England's bid for football glory in Euro 2004. He wants to know if anyone can think of a rhyme for Ericksson. Or Beckham. Or Hargreaves. Or Heskey. Or anyone...

George Galloway

George Galloway is working on a bid to became Mayor of London. He is standing as the new maverick to replace Ken Livingstone, who has gone all respectable and is no longer anyone's maverick.

Sangatte Camp

See Gordon Ramsay.

Gordon Ramsay

Gordon Ramsay is working on a new TV programme in which he and a team of would-be immigrant chefs from Albania, Kurdistan, Romania, Macedonia, etc, have got four weeks in which to turn Sangatte Camp into a three star restaurant with the best food in the north of France. Filming has only been going on a week but already several of the would-be immigrants have been so traumatised by Gordon Ramsay that they have returned to Albania, Kurdistan etc.

Gerry Adams

Gerry Adams is preparing his bid to become the next Mayor of London and solve the capital's traffic problems. He intends to point to his record in Belfast, where he has helped to keep most of the traffic off the streets, made it inadvisable to leave empty parked cars anywhere and kept the place safe for walking. Well, marching, anyway.

Maxine Carr

Maxine Carr has made a new life for herself in a small village in Essex, where she has, rather ingeniously, been given a new identity as a reporter for the Daily Mail, as a consequence of which she is shunned by the villagers and left strictly alone.

Saddam Hussein

Saddam Hussein is working on a bid to become the next Mayor of London. If successful, he has pledged to have all the unsuccessful candidates murdered. Other aspects of his policy are not clear yet.

Edwina Currie

Right now, Edwina Currie is in a taxi with Neil and Christine Hamilton, and Robert Kilroy-Silk, being whisked from one TV chat show to another, not knowing where they are going, or what they are going to be asked next, only knowing that once you are on the treadmill you can never get off.

The Millennium Bug

The Millennium Bug has never quite recovered from its abject failure to sabotage the start of the new century. It was given a new identity as one of the Queen's corgis, and is now living quietly in retirement at Sandringham.

Cherie Blair

Cherie Blair is following the precepts of a new lifestyle guide called The Joys of a Low Profile. According to this, absence from the headlines can bring a new sense of peace and calm to you. She would like Tony to join her new lifestyle at the next election by handing over to Gordon. Tony is tempted, but thinks it may be a trap. Has she perhaps been seeing Gordon at Number 11 when he is not at home? Also, why is Geoff Hoon hanging round all the time? And why is Lord Birt tapping at the window when the moon is full? Don't miss the next episode of WestEnders!

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Java Developer - 1 year contract

£350 - £400 Per Day: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: Our client based in Cent...

Junior Analyst - Graduate - 6 Month fixed term contract

£17000 - £20000 Per Annum Bonus, Life Insurance + Other Benefits: Clearwater P...

SAS Business Analyst - Credit Risk - Retail Banking

£450 - £500 per day: Orgtel: SAS Business Analyst, London, Banking, Credit Ris...

Project Manager - Pensions

£32000 - £38000 Per Annum Bonus, Life Insurance + Other Benefits: Clearwater P...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Errors and Omissions: In thrall to a word that we don’t quite comprehend

Guy Keleny
 

The No campaign has a classic advertising problem: they need to turn a negative into a positive

John Hegarty
Ukraine crisis: The phoney war is over as Russian troops and armour pour across the border

The phoney war is over

Russian troops and armour pour into Ukraine
Potatoes could be off the menu as crop pests threaten UK

Potatoes could be off the menu as crop pests threaten UK

The world’s entire food system is under attack - and Britain is most at risk, according to a new study
Gangnam smile: why the Chinese are flocking to South Korea to buy a new face

Gangnam smile: why the Chinese are flocking to South Korea to buy a new face

Seoul's plastic surgery industry is booming thanks to the popularity of the K-Pop look
From Mozart to Orson Welles: Creative geniuses who peaked too soon

Creative geniuses who peaked too soon

After the death of Sandy Wilson, 90, who wrote his only hit musical in his twenties, John Walsh wonders what it's like to peak too soon and go on to live a life more ordinary
Caught in the crossfire of a cyber Cold War

Caught in the crossfire of a cyber Cold War

Fears are mounting that Vladimir Putin has instructed hackers to target banks like JP Morgan
Salomé's feminine wiles have inspired writers, painters and musicians for 2,000 years

Salomé: A head for seduction

Salomé's feminine wiles have inspired writers, painters and musicians for 2,000 years. Now audiences can meet the Biblical femme fatale in two new stage and screen projects
From Bram Stoker to Stanley Kubrick, the British Library's latest exhibition celebrates all things Gothic

British Library celebrates all things Gothic

Forthcoming exhibition Terror and Wonder: The Gothic Imagination will be the UK's largest ever celebration of Gothic literature
The Hard Rock Café's owners are embroiled in a bitter legal dispute - but is the restaurant chain worth fighting for?

Is the Hard Rock Café worth fighting for?

The restaurant chain's owners are currently embroiled in a bitter legal dispute
Caribbean cuisine is becoming increasingly popular in the UK ... and there's more to it than jerk chicken at carnival

In search of Caribbean soul food

Caribbean cuisine is becoming increasingly popular in the UK ... and there's more to it than jerk chicken at carnival
11 best face powders

11 best face powders

Sweep away shiny skin with our pick of the best pressed and loose powder bases
England vs Norway: Roy Hodgson's hands tied by exploding top flight

Roy Hodgson's hands tied by exploding top flight

Lack of Englishmen at leading Premier League clubs leaves manager hamstrung
Angel Di Maria and Cristiano Ronaldo: A tale of two Manchester United No 7s

Di Maria and Ronaldo: A tale of two Manchester United No 7s

They both inherited the iconic shirt at Old Trafford, but the £59.7m new boy is joining a club in a very different state
Israel-Gaza conflict: No victory for Israel despite weeks of death and devastation

Robert Fisk: No victory for Israel despite weeks of devastation

Palestinians have won: they are still in Gaza, and Hamas is still there
Mary Beard writes character reference for Twitter troll who called her a 'slut'

Unlikely friends: Mary Beard and the troll who called her a ‘filthy old slut’

The Cambridge University classicist even wrote the student a character reference
America’s new apartheid: Prosperous white districts are choosing to break away from black cities and go it alone

America’s new apartheid

Prosperous white districts are choosing to break away from black cities and go it alone