Miles Kington: If you want to get rich, don't marry a divorce lawyer

Most husbands are inexperienced, first-time husbands. Most divorce lawyers are hard as nails. A pre-nup with a lawyer? Fat chance

Related Topics

Ever since the recent historic rulings on wives being divorced from wealthy men, I have been deluged by letters from anxious women. Some, of course, are merely anxious to marry me and get their hands on my fortune, but most of them have genuine worries about their prospects, so today I have asked a divorce specialist to help sort them out.

Let's go!

Q. Before I met and married my husband, I was a simple secretary in his law firm. He made me give up my secretarial career in order to be a wife to him and a mother to his children. In order to combat boredom and keep my brain working, I started writing fiction, and I am now lucky enough to be a best-selling women's author under an assumed name.

His career has also flourished, but now he has met another woman and wishes to bring our marriage to an end. Naturally, I wish to take him to the cleaners, but as I am now very wealthy from my writing, I do not have a very clear claim - after all, my career has only flourished since I got married, and prior to that I did not have a career at all, so the court might take the view that it was marrying him that gave me the incentive to get rich.

My husband, by the way, has no idea that I am a published writer.

Do you think I have a good chance of getting my hands on a chunk of his money?

A. No. But I do think you have a cracking plot for your next novel.

Q. Talking to wives who have been through the divorce courts seeking compensation, I find that they all advise making a pre-nuptial agreement, which, though not legally binding, sways the judge a lot. But they all say that whatever sums they do secure, most of it, alas, goes in legal fees to their grasping lawyers.

As I intend to get married shortly to a very wealthy man whom I hope to divorce a few years later, it has occurred to me that perhaps my best course of action would be to sign a pre-nuptial agreement now with the lawyer I hope to use during my divorce case, limiting the depredations he will make on my winnings. I mean, my settlement. What are my prospects of doing this?

A. None at all. Most husbands are inexperienced, first-time husbands. Most divorce lawyers are hard-bitten and hard as nails. A pre-nup with a lawyer? Fat chance.

Q. As a matter of interest, how do the wives of divorce lawyers fare?

A. Nobody knows. All women who marry divorce lawyers sign a pre-nuptial agreement never to say anything.

Q. Is it possible for me to divorce my husband before the World Cup starts and marry him again after England is knocked out?

A. That is a very shallow and frivolous inquiry. Marriage is about money, madam. If money is not involved, I am not interested and nor should you be.

Q. Before I got married, I had a flourishing career in public relations. I had started my own firm, which rose to have an annual turnover of several million pounds. Then I got married to a financial journalist.

A. And you gave up your career to further his progress?

Q. No. He gave up his work as a financial journalist in order to look after our home and bring up our children.

A. Ah. And now he wants a divorce, and a smacking great compensation pay-out from your fortune?

Q. No. We were unable to have children, so he now wants to go back to work as a financial journalist.

A. I see. And you don't want to let him go back to work?

Q. No, I am quite happy to let him do so.

A. So what is the problem?

Q. No problem at all. I just thought it would be nice to hear from a happily married pair.

A. Madam, you are a trouble-maker and the sort of person who would drive a divorce lawyer to drink. Thank goodness there are not many like you.

Thinking of taking hubby to the cleaners? Just drop us a line

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Deputy Head of Science

£36000 - £60000 per annum: Randstad Education Southampton: Our client are a we...

IT Teacher

£22000 - £32000 per annum + TLR: Randstad Education Southampton: Our client is...

Database Administrator

£300 - £350 Per Day: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: The role could involve w...

Science Teacher

£21000 - £35000 per annum: Randstad Education Cambridge: Qualified secondary s...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Countries that have relaxed sex-worker laws have seen a fall in Aids infections but no increase in street-based prostitution  

As an ex prostitute, I urge all the political parties to commit to the Sex Buyer Law

A still from Central African Republic: Descent into Chaos  

Rory Peck Awards 2014 News Finalist: Pacôme Pabandji

Independent Voices
Indiana serial killer? Man arrested for murdering teenage prostitute confesses to six other murders - and police fear there could be many more

A new American serial killer?

Police fear man arrested for murder of teen prostitute could be responsible for killing spree dating back 20 years
Sweetie, the fake 10-year-old girl designed to catch online predators, claims her first scalp

Sting to trap paedophiles may not carry weight in UK courts

Computer image of ‘Sweetie’ represented entrapment, experts say
Fukushima nuclear crisis: Evacuees still stuck in cramped emergency housing three years on - and may never return home

Return to Fukushima – a land they will never call home again

Evacuees still stuck in cramped emergency housing three years on from nuclear disaster
Wildlife Photographer of the Year: Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize

Wildlife Photographer of the Year

Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize
Online petitions: Sign here to change the world

Want to change the world? Just sign here

The proliferation of online petitions allows us to register our protests at the touch of a button. But do they change anything?
Ed Sheeran hits back after being labelled too boring to headline festivals

'You need me, I don’t need you'

Ed Sheeran hits back after being labelled too boring to headline festivals
How to Get Away with Murder: Shonda Rhimes reinvents the legal drama

How to Get Away with Murder

Shonda Rhimes reinvents the legal drama
A cup of tea is every worker's right

Hard to swallow

Three hospitals in Leicester have banned their staff from drinking tea and coffee in public areas. Christopher Hirst explains why he thinks that a cuppa is every worker's right
Which animals are nearly extinct?

Which animals are nearly extinct?

Conservationists in Kenya are in mourning after the death of a white northern rhino, which has left the species with a single male. These are the other species on the brink
12 best children's shoes

Perfect for leaf-kicking: 12 best children's shoes

Find footwear perfect to keep kids' feet protected this autumn
Anderlecht vs Arsenal: Gunners' ray of light Aaron Ramsey shines again

Arsenal’s ray of light ready to shine again

Aaron Ramsey’s injury record has prompted a club investigation. For now, the midfielder is just happy to be fit to face Anderlecht in the Champions League
Comment: David Moyes' show of sensitivity thrown back in his face by former Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson

Moyes’ show of sensitivity thrown back in his face... by Ferguson

Manchester United legend tramples on successor who resisted criticising his inheritance
Two super-sized ships have cruised into British waters, but how big can these behemoths get?

Super-sized ships: How big can they get?

Two of the largest vessels in the world cruised into UK waters last week
British doctors on brink of 'cure' for paralysis with spinal cord treatment

British doctors on brink of cure for paralysis

Sufferers can now be offered the possibility of cure thanks to a revolutionary implant of regenerative cells
Ranked seventh in world’s best tourist cities - not London, or Edinburgh, but Salisbury

Lonely Planet’s Best in Travel 2015

UK city beats Vienna, Paris and New York to be ranked seventh in world’s best tourist destinations - but it's not London