Miles Kington Remembered: If there's one thing more useful than learning, it's forgetting

Share
Related Topics


Advertising Feature

Control Your Memory Loss!

Today you have the chance to acquire a revolutionary new way of training the memory.

Yes, we hear a lot about the learning process, and learning curves, and the acquisition of knowledge, but has it occurred to you that the intake and digestion of knowledge cannot go on forever? That somewhere in the middle of our life, though we are still acquiring knowledge, we are also starting to lose it? And that finally, towards the end of our life, we find we are losing knowledge faster than we are gaining it?

This process has a name. It is called "forgetting." Until now, "forgetting" has always been left to look after itself. Nobody has ever devised a good way of forgetting things.

Unlike learning. Learning has had countless systems invented for it. There have been innumerable colleges and universities erected in honour of learning, where young people go to pursue the intake of knowledge in a systematic manner.

Almost all of this knowledge will desert them before the end of their lives, yet the losing of this priceless knowledge is allowed to happen in an entirely haphazard and unsystematic manner, quite differently from the way it was imbibed.

But where, oh where, is the temple devoted to forgetting? Where is there a place of unlearning? Nowhere! Surely this is nonsensical? Surely the data in our brain should be jettisoned in the same orderly manner in which it was acquired?

In other words, we should only forget the things we want to forget! Whereas, more often than not, what we forget are the things we really wanted to remember and which now seem to be permanently on the tip of our tongue, just out of reach of our mind.

How often do you find yourself unable to call to mind the name of a composer you knew perfectly well yesterday? How often do you find yourself struggling to name the country next up from Peru, or your eldest daughter's second child? When, to be blunt, did you last strike your forehead and say: "Oh God, my mind is going!" But it is not your mind that is going. It is the contents of your mind that are going! Instead of letting them disappear as they want to, doesn't it make sense to get rid of only the stuff you want to get rid of and to control your forgetting process? For, make no mistake, there is a forgetting process just as surely as there is a learning process. We learn what we want to. Why cannot we forget what we want to? Why must we put up with remembering that damn tune from The Dam Busters and yet forgetting the First Law of Thermodynamics?

Well, now we no longer have to! Thanks to a new process called Memory Removal, YOU can choose exactly which memories to lose, and which to keep. Yes, you can arrest the outward flow of valuable data, and make sure you lose only the mental rubbish you have accumulated in a lifetime of learning.

Once you have mastered the "forgetting process," you can hold on to the vital statistics about the ERM, and forget the pseudo facts thrown about on Question Time. You can continue to remember the lines of poetry you so painstakingly acquired in your youth, yet at the same time wipe from your memory the unnecessary wads of transient stuff from Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen you unfortunately committed to memory when you knew no better.

To acquire this technique, all you have to do is send a blank cheque to the address given below and we will send you a copy of Memory Removal, which lets you into the secret of how to make every fact in your memory pay its way. At last, if you don't want a memory, you can get rid of it! Truly, your life will be full only of golden memories and vital facts from now on!

From SR, of Trowbridge:

"Thank you, thank you, for sending me the book last month. Acquiring Memory Removal has been the best thing I have ever done in my life. Also, the only thing I have ever done in my life as far as I can remember."

From Mrs CV, of Leeds:

"Ever since I mastered Memory Removal, I have been meaning to write and tell you how much it has enriched my life, and now at last I am. If, on the other hand, I have written to you several times already, please forgive me."

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager/Marketing Controller (Financial Services)

£70000 - £75000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager/Marketi...

Recruitment Genius: Account Manager

£20000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This full service social media ...

Recruitment Genius: Data Analyst - Online Marketing

£24000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: We are 'Changemakers in retail'...

Austen Lloyd: Senior Residential Conveyancer

Very Competitive: Austen Lloyd: Senior Conveyancer - South West We are see...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Letter from the Deputy Editor: i’s Review of the Year

Andrew Webster
RIP Voicemail?  

Voicemail has got me out of some tight corners, so let's not abandon it

Simon Kelner
A Christmas without hope: Fears grow in Gaza that the conflict with Israel will soon reignite

Christmas without hope

Gaza fears grow that conflict with Israel will soon reignite
After 150 years, you can finally visit the grisliest museum in the country

The 'Black Museum'

After 150 years, you can finally visit Britain's grisliest museum
No ho-ho-hos with Nick Frost's badass Santa

No ho-ho-hos with Nick Frost's badass Santa

Doctor Who Christmas Special TV review
Chilly Christmas: Swimmers take festive dip for charity

Chilly Christmas

Swimmers dive into freezing British waters for charity
Veterans' hostel 'overwhelmed by kindness' for festive dinner

Homeless Veterans appeal

In 2010, Sgt Gary Jamieson stepped on an IED in Afghanistan and lost his legs and an arm. He reveals what, and who, helped him to make a remarkable recovery
Isis in Iraq: Yazidi girls killing themselves to escape rape and imprisonment by militants

'Jilan killed herself in the bathroom. She cut her wrists and hanged herself'

Yazidi girls killing themselves to escape rape and imprisonment
Ed Balls interview: 'If I think about the deficit when I'm playing the piano, it all goes wrong'

Ed Balls interview

'If I think about the deficit when I'm playing the piano, it all goes wrong'
He's behind you, dude!

US stars in UK panto

From David Hasselhoff to Jerry Hall
Grace Dent's Christmas Quiz: What are you – a festive curmudgeon or top of the tree?

Grace Dent's Christmas Quiz

What are you – a festive curmudgeon or top of the tree?
Nasa planning to build cloud cities in airships above Venus

Nasa planning to build cloud cities in airships above Venus

Planet’s surface is inhospitable to humans but 30 miles above it is almost perfect
Surrounded by high-rise flats is a little house filled with Lebanon’s history - clocks, rifles, frogmen’s uniforms and colonial helmets

Clocks, rifles, swords, frogmen’s uniforms

Surrounded by high-rise flats is a little house filled with Lebanon’s history
Return to Gaza: Four months on, the wounds left by Israel's bombardment have not yet healed

Four months after the bombardment, Gaza’s wounds are yet to heal

Kim Sengupta is reunited with a man whose plight mirrors the suffering of the Palestinian people
Gastric surgery: Is it really the answer to the UK's obesity epidemic?

Is gastric surgery really the answer to the UK's obesity epidemic?

Critics argue that it’s crazy to operate on healthy people just to stop them eating
Homeless Veterans appeal: Christmas charity auction Part 2 - now LIVE

Homeless Veterans appeal: Christmas charity auction

Bid on original art, or trips of a lifetime to Africa or the 'Corrie' set, and help Homeless Veterans
Pantomime rings the changes to welcome autistic theatre-goers

Autism-friendly theatre

Pantomime leads the pack in quest to welcome all