Miles Kington: Ten lists of things you always wanted to know

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The Independent Online

Ten doctors who have given doctoring a bad name

Ten doctors who have given doctoring a bad name

  1. Dr No
  2. Dr Crippen
  3. Dr Harold Shipman
  4. Dr David Owen
  5. Doc Holliday
  6. Dr Death
  7. Dr Sin
  8. Dr Jekyll
  9. Dr Faustus
  10. Doctor Foster

Ten things we shall do

  1. We shall overcome
  2. We'll go no more a-roving
  3. We'll keep a welcome in the hillsides
  4. We who are left will grow old
  5. We'll meet again
  6. We shall not be moved
  7. We'll gather lilacs
  8. We will rock you
  9. We will see about that
  10. We're going to hang out the washing on the Siegfried Line

Ten great parts for actors to play if they don't want to be recognised in the street.

  1. The Mummy
  2. The Invisible Man
  3. The Man In The Iron Mask
  4. Phantom of the Opera
  5. Zorro
  6. The Masked Avenger
  7. Godot
  8. Frankenstein's Monster
  9. The Beast
  10. Widow Twankey

Ten famous excrescences

  1. Cromwell's warts
  2. Cleopatra's nose
  3. Richard III's hunchback
  4. Jenkins' ear
  5. Claire's Knee
  6. Blackberry thumb
  7. Pinocchio's nose
  8. Michael Finnegan's chin
  9. The Great Wen
  10. The Dong with the Luminous Nose

Ten people whose names are just one syllable repeated

  1. Tin Tin
  2. Lala
  3. Lulu
  4. Peter Lilley
  5. Ratan Tata
  6. Luigi Nono
  7. Kofi Annan
  8. Viv Beeby
  9. Lord Ha Ha
  10. Coco Chanel

Ten contestants for the title of stupidist bird in the world

  1. Pheasant
  2. Pheasant
  3. Pheasant
  4. Pheasant
  5. Pheasant
  6. Pheasant
  7. Pheasant
  8. Ostrich
  9. Pheasant
  10. Pheasant

Ten fictional houses

  1. The House at Pooh Corner
  2. The House That Jack Built
  3. The House of Usher
  4. Bleak House
  5. Cider House
  6. Our House
  7. The House of Bernarda Alba
  8. Heartbreak House
  9. A Doll's House
  10. Random House

Ten things that are often sheer

  1. Bad luck
  2. Bloody-mindedness
  3. Brute force
  4. Stupidity
  5. Madness
  6. Drop
  7. Tights
  8. Luxury
  9. Incompetence
  10. -Ness

Ten words that have become taboo and can no longer be used

  1. M*d
  2. R*****d
  3. S****ic
  4. F*t
  5. C*****e
  6. D***f
  7. M*****t
  8. N****r
  9. Y*d
  10. L***y

Ten ways of ending a phone call

  1. "Someone's on the other line"
  2. "A customer has just come in"
  3. "You're breaking up"
  4. "Hello? Are you still there?"
  5. "I can smell burning"
  6. "Oh no - water has started coming through the ceiling!"
  7. "The house is surrounded by Liverpool supporters"
  8. "Someone's pointing a gun at me"
  9. "The police have ordered us to evacuate the area"
  10. "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have just arrived, and they seem unhappy about something."

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