The strange case of the Siberian dog boy

Share
Related Topics

Think you follow the news closely? Then here's another little test for you! I'm bringing you five stories from the last week's news coverage.
But one of them is actually made up by me. Think you can spot it? Let's go!

Think you follow the news closely? Then here's another little test for you! I'm bringing you five stories from the last week's news coverage. But one of them is actually made up by me. Think you can spot it? Let's go!

1. A child who went missing in Siberia five years ago, at the age of four, has just been found alive and well. He had been adopted by a family of dogs and had learnt to live with them. When asked by reporters if the now nine-year-old Yuri Davidov had become a dog in human form, police said that if anything the opposite was true.

"Usually," said an Inspector Glukov, "these feral children are found to be walking on all fours and communicating in dog language.

"But Yuri must have had an extraordinarily strong character, because single-handed he had taught the dogs how to behave human fashion. He had given them a basic Russian vocabulary, and some of them were even attempting to walk on their two back legs. They were beginning to lose their ability to look after themselves, and we shall now have to retrain them to go back into the wild.

"Yuri himself is fine, and is only sorry he cannot stay with his dog family and continue to teach them football."

2. A man has been arrested and charged with using a mobile while on the public highway. What is unusual about the case of Keith Quardyce is that he was not driving at the time - he was simply walking across a zebra crossing, while chatting on a mobile to his wife. But, being on a public highway, he is subject to the new laws governing mobiles on roads.

3. In a rural part of the State of Missouri a dog which has been missing since it was a puppy has been found alive and well, living with a family of cats. The cats adopted it, probably thinking it was some sort of mutant cat, and brought it up as one of them. The dog now mews, and drinks milk, and kills mice by the score.

A judge has ordered its natural canine rights to be restored to it, and have it retrained as a dog. The dog's lawyer is fighting for its right to remain a cat by conversion.

4. A French court has heard how a jealous wife tried to shoot her millionaire husband because she thought he was having an affair with the au pair. In fact, he claims, he wasn't having an affair at all. He was merely trying to buy a painting.

The wealthy husband, M. Gaston Robert, had recently conceived a violent passion for the work of Edward Hopper, the American artist. He calculated that he could afford to buy one of his paintings and instructed his accountant to go ahead with the sale.

" J'aime cet Hopper avec une passion incroyable!" he told him.

The wife overheard him.

In French, "Hopper" is pronounced exactly the same as "au pair".

The Roberts had a very pretty au pair from Romania. The wife put two and two together and believed she was being deceived. She decided to eradicate her erring husband. Luckily, she was a very bad shot.

5. An aboriginal child in Australia, lost four years ago, has been found in the bush, happily living with a family of budgerigars, who have looked after her.

"She can't talk," say the police," though she sings beautifully. And she can only hop along on both legs. Oh, and she can fly, in a rudimentary fashion. We'll have to get that out of her system, for a start."

Well?

Did you spot that the one about the budgerigars was a load of cobblers?

Well done!

And did you spot that all the others were equally fallacious?

Honestly, modern news reporting fair makes you sick, doesn't it?

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
SPONSORED FEATURES
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Project Assistant

£17000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They are a leading company in the field ...

Recruitment Genius: DBA Developer - SQL Server

£30000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

Recruitment Genius: Office Manager

£26041 - £34876 per annum: Recruitment Genius: There has never been a more exc...

Recruitment Genius: Travel Customer Service and Experience Manager

£14000 - £17000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: The fastest growing travel comp...

Day In a Page

Read Next
A pack of seagulls squabble over discarded food left on the beach at St Ives on July 28, 2015  

Number of urban seagulls in Britain nearly quadruples: Hide food and avoid chicks to stay in gulls’ good books

Tom Bawden
 

Blairites be warned, this could be the moment Labour turns into Syriza

Andrew Grice
Turkey-Kurdish conflict: Obama's deal with Ankara is a betrayal of Syrian Kurds and may not even weaken Isis

US betrayal of old ally brings limited reward

Since the accord, the Turks have only waged war on Kurds while no US bomber has used Incirlik airbase, says Patrick Cockburn
VIPs gather for opening of second Suez Canal - but doubts linger over security

'A gift from Egypt to the rest of the world'

VIPs gather for opening of second Suez Canal - but is it really needed?
Jeremy Corbyn dresses abysmally. That's a great thing because it's genuine

Jeremy Corbyn dresses abysmally. That's a great thing because it's genuine

Fashion editor, Alexander Fury, applauds a man who clearly has more important things on his mind
The male menopause and intimations of mortality

Aches, pains and an inkling of mortality

So the male menopause is real, they say, but what would the Victorians, 'old' at 30, think of that, asks DJ Taylor
Man Booker Prize 2015: Anna Smaill - How can I possibly be on the list with these writers I have idolised?

'How can I possibly be on the list with these writers I have idolised?'

Man Booker Prize nominee Anna Smaill on the rise of Kiwi lit
Bettany Hughes interview: The historian on how Socrates would have solved Greece's problems

Bettany Hughes interview

The historian on how Socrates would have solved Greece's problems
Art of the state: Pyongyang propaganda posters to be exhibited in China

Art of the state

Pyongyang propaganda posters to be exhibited in China
Mildreds and Vanilla Black have given vegetarian food a makeover in new cookbooks

Vegetarian food gets a makeover

Long-time vegetarian Holly Williams tries to recreate some of the inventive recipes in Mildreds and Vanilla Black's new cookbooks
The haunting of Shirley Jackson: Was the gothic author's life really as bleak as her fiction?

The haunting of Shirley Jackson

Was the gothic author's life really as bleak as her fiction?
Bill Granger recipes: Heading off on holiday? Try out our chef's seaside-inspired dishes...

Bill Granger's seaside-inspired recipes

These dishes are so easy to make, our chef is almost embarrassed to call them recipes
Ashes 2015: Tourists are limp, leaderless and distinctly UnAustralian

Tourists are limp, leaderless and distinctly UnAustralian

A woefully out-of-form Michael Clarke embodies his team's fragile Ashes campaign, says Michael Calvin
Blairites be warned, this could be the moment Labour turns into Syriza

Andrew Grice: Inside Westminster

Blairites be warned, this could be the moment Labour turns into Syriza
HMS Victory: The mystery of Britain's worst naval disaster is finally solved - 271 years later

The mystery of Britain's worst naval disaster is finally solved - 271 years later

Exclusive: David Keys reveals the research that finally explains why HMS Victory went down with the loss of 1,100 lives
Survivors of the Nagasaki atomic bomb attack: Japan must not abandon its post-war pacifism

'I saw people so injured you couldn't tell if they were dead or alive'

Nagasaki survivors on why Japan must not abandon its post-war pacifism
Jon Stewart: The voice of Democrats who felt Obama had failed to deliver on his 'Yes We Can' slogan, and the voter he tried hardest to keep onside

The voter Obama tried hardest to keep onside

Outgoing The Daily Show host, Jon Stewart, became the voice of Democrats who felt the President had failed to deliver on his ‘Yes We Can’ slogan. Tim Walker charts the ups and downs of their 10-year relationship on screen