Welcome to wonderful Chutneyworld

'Did you know that more uneaten chutney is thrown away than anything else, including wrapping-paper?'
Click to follow

Bank holiday Monday again! Time to get out on the roads, looking for entertainment and culture, or a good day out! Well, look no further, as this column brings you the best bank holiday ideas for Britain 2000!

Bank holiday Monday again! Time to get out on the roads, looking for entertainment and culture, or a good day out! Well, look no further, as this column brings you the best bank holiday ideas for Britain 2000!

The Pyjama Experience, Okehampton

Britain's first nightwear museum is situated in an old pyjama mill in Devon. Deserted for 70 years, it has now been restored to working order and has started to turn out knitted nightcaps for the first time in nearly a century. The mighty mill machinery is being run once more by hydroelectric power from the River Oke, and visitors can see pyjama cords being twisted before their very eyes, and lie on the big feather bed on which all nightwear was tested in the old days.

The Jousting Centre, Stroud

Few experiences can rival that of sitting astride a powerful horse, in armour weighing half a ton, galloping at 20 miles an hour across a thundering greensward, seeing someone similar come the other way and feeling their mighty spear go right through you. So that doesn't happen here. Instead, the whole thing is electronically simulated and you go virtual-jousting instead. The effect is miraculously dull.

Interflora Centre Open Day

Private gardens are open to the public all the time, but this is a rare chance to see round the legendary Interflora centre, where orders for roses for granny and a bouquet for young Sheila are processed and redirected. The centre is a hive of activity, resounding to traditional cries of "Is there a bloody flower shop in Warrington?" and "What's the English for myosotis, anyone?" All visitors receive a single rose or, if roses are not available, some other flower that you didn't really want.

Bradwickleigh Hall, nr Thirsk

"People are always restoring old houses and showing them to the public in pristine condition," say Lord and Lady Tumbler, "and the public must often wonder what the house looked like before it was restored. Well, Bradwickleigh Hall is in a shockin' state, almost certain to fall down soon, and we haven't got a brass farthing to help restore it, so we thought we'd open it to the public now and show them a real house in a parlous condition. It's going like a bomb." Bring your own hard hat.

The Sealed Flask on tour

We all know about the Sealed Knot, which recreates famous battles from history; less well known is the Sealed Flask, which dedicates itself to recreating famous plagues and epidemics. The Sealed Flask is out and about this Monday, doing its well-known Black Death and - a new one for them - the Great Flu Epidemic of 1918. Watch out for their yellow sign saying: "Keep death on the roads!"

Chutneyworld, Maidstone, Kent

Did you know that chutney is the most often bought present in Britain? Did you know that more uneaten chutney is discarded than anything else, including wrapping-paper? Did you know that chutney can be made from anything, including wrapping-paper? All these and many other facts can be learnt at Chutneyworld, housed in a loving restored 18th-century chutney kiln, one of the few to survive the Cheese Riots of 1835.

BinocularWorld, nr Derby

BinocularWorld is Britain's first centre devoted entirely to the art of making things look bigger by looking at them through a bit of glass. Situated in an old lens-grinding mill, now beautifully restored to working order, the centre houses a dizzying selection of spy-glasses, telescopes, lorgnettes and so on. Have you ever wanted to know how long you could keep a monocle in without its falling out? Do you want to know what Nelson saw when he put his telescope to his blind eye? Then this is the place for you! And there is a special section on the history of the Peeping Tom, which is open only to those over 18.

Send up for full list, including Hot Water Bottle Museum, Rye; Shoplifting Experience, in Birmingham; Open Day at Skinner Stand-Up Comic College; LobsterWorld, etc etc