Rebecca Tyrrel: It does seem a shame that Gwynnie denies her kids ‘Bugs Bunny’ in Hebrew


Related Topics

Who knew that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin only allow their children to watch TV in French and Spanish? Speaking to the Indian TV channel NDTV, presumably in neither Sanskrit nor Hindi, Gwynnie explained, "When I'm in France I go to Boulevard Beaumarchais and buy all their cartoons".

Her eight-year-old daughter, Apple, is "cross" about this, she admits, and you might safely guess that Moses, six, feels the same as his sister. Even the playground hilarity that Noddy is known in French as 'Oui Oui' might not compensate for having no idea what Big Ears is saying to him.

If there is a mystery about the Paltrow-Martin Television Tower of Babel, it is the apparent absence of any kids' TV shows in Jewish tongues. Not long ago this descendant on her father's side of Polish rabbis – a devout follower of Kabbalah, of course, in common with her best frenemy Madonna – took the decision to raise them in the faith. It does seem a bit of a shame, if not a wilful act of negligence, to deny the kids the Hebrew version of Bugs Bunny, and the Yiddish version of Wacky Races in which Dick Dastardly mutters a dispirited "Oy vey" after yet another disaster, and screams "You meshuggeneh" at Muttley.

That curious oversight apart, Gwynnie's commitment to motherhood knows no bounds, keeping a close eye out, as she does, for contraband English-language Tom and Jerry DVDs. She also finds time for her website,, which she founded a few years ago with the noble aim of "curating the best of lifestyle". Among this week's 'small bites' is a recipe for that timeless children's favourite, avocado on rice cracker ('Preparation: Place sliced avocado evenly on rice cracker, feeling free to muddle a bit to fit the shape of the cracker…').

One day soon, Apple and Moses will become grateful to their mother for her typically unpretentious approach to life and parenting. It isn't every pre-teen who can come out with a perfectly accented "Mum, I cannot and will not tolerate another morsel of this macrobiotic filth. Call Domino's this instant and get me an American Hot" in three different languages. Knowing the French for, "My mother is the most affected woman on the planet", and the Spanish for, "If my mother was one iota more smug, she'd be Gyles Brandreth with breasts", might just come in handy as well.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General


Highly Attractive Pakage: Austen Lloyd: MANCHESTER - A highly attractive oppor...

Senior Marketing Manager - Central London - £50,000

£40000 - £50000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager (Campaigns, Offlin...

Head of Marketing - Acquisition & Direct Reponse Marketing

£90000 - £135000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Head of Marketing (B2C, Acquisition...

1st Line Service Desk Analyst

£27000 - £30000 Per Annum: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: Our client who are...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Norovirus the food poisoning bug that causes violent stomach flu  

A flu pandemic could decide next year’s election

Matthew Norman
J. Jayalalithaa gestures to her party supporters while standing on the balcony of her residence in Chennai. Former film star Jayalalithaa Jayaram is one of India's most colourful and controversial politicians  

The jailing of former film star Jayalalithaa Jayaram is a drama even Bollywood couldn’t produce

Andrew Buncombe
Pride: Are censors pandering to homophobia?

Are censors pandering to homophobia?

US film censors have ruled 'Pride' unfit for under-16s, though it contains no sex or violence
The magic of roundabouts

Lords of the rings

Just who are the Roundabout Appreciation Society?
Why do we like making lists?

Notes to self: Why do we like making lists?

Well it was good enough for Ancient Egyptians and Picasso...
Hong Kong protests: A good time to open a new restaurant?

A good time to open a new restaurant in Hong Kong?

As pro-democracy demonstrators hold firm, chef Rowley Leigh, who's in the city to open a new restaurant, says you couldn't hope to meet a nicer bunch
10 best children's nightwear

10 best children's nightwear

Make sure the kids stay cosy on cooler autumn nights in this selection of pjs, onesies and nighties
Isis is an hour from Baghdad, the Iraq army has little chance against it, and air strikes won't help

Isis an hour away from Baghdad -

and with no sign of Iraq army being able to make a successful counter-attack
Turner Prize 2014 is frustratingly timid

Turner Prize 2014 is frustratingly timid

The exhibition nods to rich and potentially brilliant ideas, but steps back
Last chance to see: Half the world’s animals have disappeared over the last 40 years

Last chance to see...

The Earth’s animal wildlife population has halved in 40 years
So here's why teenagers are always grumpy - and it's not what you think

Truth behind teens' grumpiness

Early school hours mess with their biological clocks
Why can no one stop hackers putting celebrities' private photos online?

Hacked photos: the third wave

Why can no one stop hackers putting celebrities' private photos online?
Royal Ballet star dubbed 'Charlize Theron in pointe shoes' takes on Manon

Homegrown ballerina is on the rise

Royal Ballet star Melissa Hamilton is about to tackle the role of Manon
Education, eduction, education? Our growing fascination with what really goes on in school

Education, education, education

TV documentaries filmed in classrooms are now a genre in their own right
It’s reasonable to negotiate with the likes of Isis, so why don’t we do it and save lives?

It’s perfectly reasonable to negotiate with villains like Isis

So why don’t we do it and save some lives?
This man just ran a marathon in under 2 hours 3 minutes. Is a 2-hour race in sight?

Is a sub-2-hour race now within sight?

Dennis Kimetto breaks marathon record
We shall not be moved, say Stratford's single parents fighting eviction

Inside the E15 'occupation'

We shall not be moved, say Stratford single parents