Susie Rushton: Stop talking at the back there ...

Urban Notebook

Related Topics

The self-imposed January pub ban still in place, on Saturday, just for variation, we try out a new cinema, in Hammersmith. It's a bit shabby, and the liquorice allsorts unchewably hard, but the audience are a spirited bunch.

An hour into Slumdog Millionaire, just as he's asked the 10,000-rupee question, somebody in the middle of the auditorium hisses, "Will you BE QUIET!" I crane my neck. I hadn't noticed it before, but a small group at the back are chatting away. And now, as they carry on talking, undeterred, I can't think about anything else. It's as though they're jabbering right into my spine.

A fortnight ago I was subjected to this torture during the Che double bill. Two French girls behind us translated the English subtitles to each other – for four hours. Desperate not to become an interventionist (although it is inevitable), I stayed quiet and resorted to huffs and stroppy shuffling, to no avail.

The Hammersmith audience, though, are more forthright, and after a while, something brilliant happens. Four ushers enter, and stride up to the back row. A proud interventionist has tipped them off, and every single person in the cinema is now turning around, ignoring the action on screen, agog at the scene kicking off in our very midst.

I can't make out every recrimination, but eventually the talkers get up, shamed, and are hustled out. There's a round of applause, and jubilant whooping. So yes, it was the best dramatic picture for me, too.

Foxtons feel the crunch

I see that Foxtons are experiencing financial difficulties – just a hiccup with their "banking covenants", apparently. Not that many Londoners would have sympathy with the estate agent's woes. In fact, the infamously aggressive outfit – and hasn't everyone's got a Foxtons horror story – has only been doing the dirty work for greedy vendors all these years. Here's hoping the property slump will mean fewer of those green Foxtons-branded Mini Coopers, a symbol of the reckless boom if ever there was one.

Train round the bend

The Golden Globes reminded me how deeply unfashionable the Hollywood red carpet has become, if we take "fashion" to imply newness or innovation. Am I the only gown-watcher to nod off at the sight of yet another actress pretending not to trip over a three-metre bridal-style train dragging along the floor?

You can't blame the designers who make these dresses, since they don't send frocks with trains like the one worn by Eva Longoria Parker, left, down their own catwalks, even at haute couture – so the demand for "more length" must come from the actresses themselves. Ladies, it's time this fusty old trend ended up on the cutting-room floor.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Corporate Tax Solicitor

Highly Competitive Salary: Austen Lloyd: CITY - HIGHEST QUALITY INTERNATIONAL ...

Relationship Manager

£500 - £600 per day: Orgtel: Relationship Manager, London, Banking, Accountant...

Marketing & PR Assistant - NW London

£15 - £17 per hour: Ashdown Group: Marketing & PR Assistant - Kentish Town are...

Senior Network Integration/Test Engineer

£250 - £300 per day: Orgtel: Senior Network Integration/Test Engineer Berkshir...

Day In a Page

Read Next

Should America pay Isis ransom money to free hostages like James Foley?

Kim Sengupta

The Malky Mackay allegations raise the spectre of Britain's casual racism

Chris Maume
Middle East crisis: We know all too much about the cruelty of Isis – but all too little about who they are

We know all too much about the cruelty of Isis – but all too little about who they are

Now Obama has seen the next US reporter to be threatened with beheading, will he blink, asks Robert Fisk
Neanderthals lived alongside humans for centuries, latest study shows

Final resting place of our Neanderthal neighbours revealed

Bones dated to 40,000 years ago show species may have died out in Belgium species co-existed
Scottish independence: The new Scots who hold fate of the UK in their hands

The new Scots who hold fate of the UK in their hands

Scotland’s immigrants are as passionate about the future of their adopted nation as anyone else
Britain's ugliest buildings: Which monstrosities should be nominated for the Dead Prize?

Blight club: Britain's ugliest buildings

Following the architect Cameron Sinclair's introduction of the Dead Prize, an award for ugly buildings, John Rentoul reflects on some of the biggest blots on the UK landscape
eBay's enduring appeal: Online auction site is still the UK's most popular e-commerce retailer

eBay's enduring appeal

The online auction site is still the UK's most popular e-commerce site
Culture Minister Ed Vaizey: ‘lack of ethnic minority and black faces on TV is weird’

'Lack of ethnic minority and black faces on TV is weird'

Culture Minister Ed Vaizey calls for immediate action to address the problem
Artist Olafur Eliasson's latest large-scale works are inspired by the paintings of JMW Turner

Magic circles: Artist Olafur Eliasson

Eliasson's works will go alongside a new exhibition of JMW Turner at Tate Britain. He tells Jay Merrick why the paintings of his hero are ripe for reinvention
Josephine Dickinson: 'A cochlear implant helped me to discover a new world of sound'

Josephine Dickinson: 'How I discovered a new world of sound'

After going deaf as a child, musician and poet Josephine Dickinson made do with a hearing aid for five decades. Then she had a cochlear implant - and everything changed
Greggs Google fail: Was the bakery's response to its logo mishap a stroke of marketing genius?

Greggs gives lesson in crisis management

After a mishap with their logo, high street staple Greggs went viral this week. But, as Simon Usborne discovers, their social media response was anything but half baked
Matthew McConaughey has been singing the praises of bumbags (shame he doesn't know how to wear one)

Matthew McConaughey sings the praises of bumbags

Shame he doesn't know how to wear one. Harriet Walker explains the dos and don'ts of fanny packs
7 best quadcopters and drones

Flying fun: 7 best quadcopters and drones

From state of the art devices with stabilised cameras to mini gadgets that can soar around the home, we take some flying objects for a spin
Joey Barton: ‘I’ve been guilty of getting a bit irate’

Joey Barton: ‘I’ve been guilty of getting a bit irate’

The midfielder returned to the Premier League after two years last weekend. The controversial character had much to discuss after his first game back
Andy Murray: I quit while I’m ahead too often

Andy Murray: I quit while I’m ahead too often

British No 1 knows his consistency as well as his fitness needs working on as he prepares for the US Open after a ‘very, very up and down’ year
Ferguson: In the heartlands of America, a descent into madness

A descent into madness in America's heartlands

David Usborne arrived in Ferguson, Missouri to be greeted by a scene more redolent of Gaza and Afghanistan
BBC’s filming of raid at Sir Cliff’s home ‘may be result of corruption’

BBC faces corruption allegation over its Sir Cliff police raid coverage

Reporter’s relationship with police under scrutiny as DG is summoned by MPs to explain extensive live broadcast of swoop on singer’s home