In sickness and in health: It’s been stormy but there are blessings in the clouds

Earlier this year, Rebecca’s husband, Nick, was hit by a car and seriously injured. Here, in one of a series of columns, she writes about the aftermath of his accident

Share

Nick’s accident is the worst thing that has ever happened to him, obviously, and to me. I have to add “so far” because I do worry that something else will come along to add insult to traumatic brain injury.

I’m constantly checking myself for lumps and compulsively switching everything off in a bid to stave off burning the house down. I torment myself with questions without answer.

Will Nick ever recover? Will he wish that he hadn’t? How will his daughter cope with the already rocky road of adolescence without her dad? How will I find the strength to keep fighting, to stay strong, to be Nick’s wife as well as his carer?

But – cliché klaxon – every cloud has a silver lining, and while the past five months have been stormy, to say the least, they have also had blessings wrapped up in the cumuli.

Some of the silveriest are two friends of mine and Nick’s, Samuel and David. They have opened their hearts, and their home, to me and to Nick’s daughter Mia, since the accident. They live near her, and to the hospital where Nick is. They have scooped me up and showered me with love. Walking their puppy, Maggie, makes me glad to be alive. They have given me keys to their house, a place that I think of as my own version of Rivendell, the last homely house.

I try to say thank you in words and in actions – I bought a bench for us all, I do my utmost to remember all the complicated housekeeping rules, I bring treats and make an effort to be entertaining. I don’t think there’ll ever be enough good deeds to show them my gratitude, though.

Being able to speak to Mia’s mum is another priceless silver lining. She bought me a ticket to Mia’s school play and introduced me to some of the other school mums. After a chequered decade, I can now tell her how proud I am of her daughter and what an amazing job she’s done in bringing up this wonderful, funny, clever girl.

Another triumph to come out of adversity is that I have stopped being a coward about driving and have womanned up. I need to see Nick and I need to drive to do so.

Who could have imagined that a car accident would get me back behind the wheel after more than a decade of being a wuss. These days, I can also ring up 25 companies to argue with them about direct debits and only cry once (or twice). I have become friends with people – Cath and Nick, Blake – who are just so bloody great that I have to pinch myself.

It’s all right for me, of course. I’m not the one lying in a lonely hospital bed. But I hope that Nick knows, or will know one day, how much he’s loved. His accident has had people flocking to see him, to ask about him, to talk about him and to pray for him.

He’s in a lot of hearts, including my own. Before, I knew that I loved him no matter what, and now that we’re dealing with the “what”, I know how precious it is that our love was – is – so solid. It’s been the worst of times, but also seen some of the best.

READ MORE:
What's the point in the Tour de France?
What happens in Shagaluf no longer stays there
The debate on climate change proves that balance shouldn't get in the way of truth

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Account Manager

£20000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This full service social media ...

Recruitment Genius: Data Analyst - Online Marketing

£24000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: We are 'Changemakers in retail'...

Austen Lloyd: Senior Residential Conveyancer

Very Competitive: Austen Lloyd: Senior Conveyancer - South West We are see...

Austen Lloyd: Residential / Commercial Property Solicitor

Excellent Salary: Austen Lloyd: DORSET MARKET TOWN - SENIOR PROPERTY SOLICITOR...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Tony Abbott: A man most Australian women would like to pat on the back...iron in hand

Caroline Garnar
Australian rapper Iggy Azalea performs in California  

Hip hop is both racial and political, and for Iggy Azalea to suggest otherwise is insulting

Yomi Adegoke
Isis in Iraq: Yazidi girls killing themselves to escape rape and imprisonment by militants

'Jilan killed herself in the bathroom. She cut her wrists and hanged herself'

Yazidi girls killing themselves to escape rape and imprisonment
Ed Balls interview: 'If I think about the deficit when I'm playing the piano, it all goes wrong'

Ed Balls interview

'If I think about the deficit when I'm playing the piano, it all goes wrong'
He's behind you, dude!

US stars in UK panto

From David Hasselhoff to Jerry Hall
Grace Dent's Christmas Quiz: What are you – a festive curmudgeon or top of the tree?

Grace Dent's Christmas Quiz

What are you – a festive curmudgeon or top of the tree?
Nasa planning to build cloud cities in airships above Venus

Nasa planning to build cloud cities in airships above Venus

Planet’s surface is inhospitable to humans but 30 miles above it is almost perfect
Surrounded by high-rise flats is a little house filled with Lebanon’s history - clocks, rifles, frogmen’s uniforms and colonial helmets

Clocks, rifles, swords, frogmen’s uniforms

Surrounded by high-rise flats is a little house filled with Lebanon’s history
Return to Gaza: Four months on, the wounds left by Israel's bombardment have not yet healed

Four months after the bombardment, Gaza’s wounds are yet to heal

Kim Sengupta is reunited with a man whose plight mirrors the suffering of the Palestinian people
Gastric surgery: Is it really the answer to the UK's obesity epidemic?

Is gastric surgery really the answer to the UK's obesity epidemic?

Critics argue that it’s crazy to operate on healthy people just to stop them eating
Homeless Veterans appeal: Christmas charity auction Part 2 - now LIVE

Homeless Veterans appeal: Christmas charity auction

Bid on original art, or trips of a lifetime to Africa or the 'Corrie' set, and help Homeless Veterans
Pantomime rings the changes to welcome autistic theatre-goers

Autism-friendly theatre

Pantomime leads the pack in quest to welcome all
The week Hollywood got scared and had to grow up a bit

The week Hollywood got scared and had to grow up a bit

Sony suffered a chorus of disapproval after it withdrew 'The Interview', but it's not too late for it to take a stand, says Joan Smith
From Widow Twankey to Mother Goose, how do the men who play panto dames get themselves ready for the performance of a lifetime?

Panto dames: before and after

From Widow Twankey to Mother Goose, how do the men who play panto dames get themselves ready for the performance of a lifetime?
Thirties murder mystery novel is surprise runaway Christmas hit

Thirties murder mystery novel is surprise runaway Christmas hit

Booksellers say readers are turning away from dark modern thrillers and back to the golden age of crime writing
Anne-Marie Huby: 'Charities deserve the best,' says founder of JustGiving

Anne-Marie Huby: 'Charities deserve the best'

Ten million of us have used the JustGiving website to donate to good causes. Its co-founder says that being dynamic is as important as being kind
The botanist who hunts for giant trees at Kew Gardens

The man who hunts giants

A Kew Gardens botanist has found 25 new large tree species - and he's sure there are more out there