It was the Governor wot lost it for Mitt, moans Murdoch

Matthew Norman on a Monday: The GOP blame game, Rupert's mental enfeeblement, Mad Mel's latest conspiracy and Yvette Cooper's wardrobe malfunction


Unless the swing state polling is systemically flawed – a real, if slim, possibility – Barack Obama will be re-elected tomorrow, and with this prospect in mind the Republican blame machine revs up its engines.

Some lay down markers for rigged voting machines in Ohio and other electoral fraud, and some pre-emptively moan that it was Superstorm Sandy wot won it for the Marxist Manchurian from Mombassa, but no one was quicker out of the traps than Rupert Murdoch. For him, it wasn't over (if over it proves to have been) until the fat boy sang his aria of love for the Prez. "@Now Christie ... must re-declare for Romney," Rupert tweeted of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, (above left) "or take blame for next four dire years."

It's great that the old goat's confidence is so undimmed by his travails that he feels able to issue such edicts. Yet the fiercely abrasive Governor Arbuckle may, if Romney loses, publicly wonder whether the responsibility was Rupert's. It was Fox News that empowered the Tea Party, after all, and thus drove Romney so far rightward to secure the nomination that his dash back to the centre lacked the credibility to oust even so vulnerable an incumbent. All being well in Ohio tomorrow, this GOP blame game should be the most tremendous fun.

Tragedy nears its final act

Less amusing will be what a Romney loss tells us about Rupert's mental enfeeblement. Once so adept at reading Anglo-American electoral runes, this would be the first time in memory he personally backed a loser. The fin de siecle air of the senescent tyrant railing, like Lear, at the ingratitude would render it a heartrendingly Pyrrhic victory for anyone who rues the passing of his imperium.

Mel sounds the alarm for sane folk everywhere

Can you guess who has her knick-knacks in a frightful tangle about a conspiracy to deny Mittens the Oval Office? It's only Melanie Phillips! All would be well if only the lamestream media paid the story due attention, blogs Mad Mel, but only Fox adequately covers the claim (or "rumour", as Fox prefers it) that the White House callously left embassy staff to die in Benghazi by ignoring CIA pleas for help. "A sickening scandal and an electoral game changer," she concludes, "but only in any sane universe." Aha. Surely some production company has the nous to commission the six-parter TV series The Sane Universe of Mad Mel Phillips? I'd watch it, and you would too.

Getting short with Andrew Marr

Someone needs to have a quiet word with Yvette Cooper about her wardrobe. When Yvette graced Andrew Marr's BBC1 witterfest to talk about something or other, it was impossible to follow a word thanks to her exceedingly short skirt – a garment that made sense, on a freezing and very wet morning in Shepherd's Bush, only if she was going straight from the Bumgroper's studio to an am-dram rehearsal of the Basic Instinct police interview room scene. I'm all gung ho for politicians having a hinterland, and even gunger for the Ice Pixie sexing it up. But not on the Lord's own Sabbath, eh?

Why Mr Mensch was off message

The post-parliamentary life of Louise Mensch fulfills its rich potential as she becomes a substitute Katie Price. Substituting for the Pricey in the Sun on Sunday, Louise (whose loyalty to the Murdochs is paying such rich columnar dividends) swatted husband Peter for blurting that she only quit because she knew she'd lose her Corby seat at the next election. "There were some (shall we say) raised eyebrows at the Mensch breakfast table when I read my beloved husband's interview..." she writes. This is very worrying. Marriage is all about communication – so the next time she makes a life-changing decision, she must explain why, and not leave him guessing wildly in the dark.

Leveson's chance to hold forth

A brief update on David Lawley-Wakelin, the chap charged under the Public Order Act with causing alarm or distress by interrupting Mr Tony Blair's Leveson testimony with the accusation of war crimes. Since only one person present seemed vaguely alarmed, David is now thinking of summonsing Lord Leveson as a star (if hostile) witness. Whether or not his lordship would find a trip to Highgate Magistrates a refreshing busman's holiday, he is advised to make no other plans for Friday week.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Deputy Head of Science

£36000 - £60000 per annum: Randstad Education Southampton: Our client are a we...

IT Teacher

£22000 - £32000 per annum + TLR: Randstad Education Southampton: Our client is...

Database Administrator

£300 - £350 Per Day: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: The role could involve w...

Science Teacher

£21000 - £35000 per annum: Randstad Education Cambridge: Qualified secondary s...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Countries that have relaxed sex-worker laws have seen a fall in Aids infections but no increase in street-based prostitution  

As an ex prostitute, I urge all the political parties to commit to the Sex Buyer Law

A still from Central African Republic: Descent into Chaos  

Rory Peck Awards 2014 News Finalist: Pacôme Pabandji

Independent Voices
Indiana serial killer? Man arrested for murdering teenage prostitute confesses to six other murders - and police fear there could be many more

A new American serial killer?

Police fear man arrested for murder of teen prostitute could be responsible for killing spree dating back 20 years
Sweetie, the fake 10-year-old girl designed to catch online predators, claims her first scalp

Sting to trap paedophiles may not carry weight in UK courts

Computer image of ‘Sweetie’ represented entrapment, experts say
Fukushima nuclear crisis: Evacuees still stuck in cramped emergency housing three years on - and may never return home

Return to Fukushima – a land they will never call home again

Evacuees still stuck in cramped emergency housing three years on from nuclear disaster
Wildlife Photographer of the Year: Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize

Wildlife Photographer of the Year

Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize
Online petitions: Sign here to change the world

Want to change the world? Just sign here

The proliferation of online petitions allows us to register our protests at the touch of a button. But do they change anything?
Ed Sheeran hits back after being labelled too boring to headline festivals

'You need me, I don’t need you'

Ed Sheeran hits back after being labelled too boring to headline festivals
How to Get Away with Murder: Shonda Rhimes reinvents the legal drama

How to Get Away with Murder

Shonda Rhimes reinvents the legal drama
A cup of tea is every worker's right

Hard to swallow

Three hospitals in Leicester have banned their staff from drinking tea and coffee in public areas. Christopher Hirst explains why he thinks that a cuppa is every worker's right
Which animals are nearly extinct?

Which animals are nearly extinct?

Conservationists in Kenya are in mourning after the death of a white northern rhino, which has left the species with a single male. These are the other species on the brink
12 best children's shoes

Perfect for leaf-kicking: 12 best children's shoes

Find footwear perfect to keep kids' feet protected this autumn
Anderlecht vs Arsenal: Gunners' ray of light Aaron Ramsey shines again

Arsenal’s ray of light ready to shine again

Aaron Ramsey’s injury record has prompted a club investigation. For now, the midfielder is just happy to be fit to face Anderlecht in the Champions League
Comment: David Moyes' show of sensitivity thrown back in his face by former Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson

Moyes’ show of sensitivity thrown back in his face... by Ferguson

Manchester United legend tramples on successor who resisted criticising his inheritance
Two super-sized ships have cruised into British waters, but how big can these behemoths get?

Super-sized ships: How big can they get?

Two of the largest vessels in the world cruised into UK waters last week
British doctors on brink of 'cure' for paralysis with spinal cord treatment

British doctors on brink of cure for paralysis

Sufferers can now be offered the possibility of cure thanks to a revolutionary implant of regenerative cells
Ranked seventh in world’s best tourist cities - not London, or Edinburgh, but Salisbury

Lonely Planet’s Best in Travel 2015

UK city beats Vienna, Paris and New York to be ranked seventh in world’s best tourist destinations - but it's not London