It was the Governor wot lost it for Mitt, moans Murdoch

Matthew Norman on a Monday: The GOP blame game, Rupert's mental enfeeblement, Mad Mel's latest conspiracy and Yvette Cooper's wardrobe malfunction

Share

Unless the swing state polling is systemically flawed – a real, if slim, possibility – Barack Obama will be re-elected tomorrow, and with this prospect in mind the Republican blame machine revs up its engines.

Some lay down markers for rigged voting machines in Ohio and other electoral fraud, and some pre-emptively moan that it was Superstorm Sandy wot won it for the Marxist Manchurian from Mombassa, but no one was quicker out of the traps than Rupert Murdoch. For him, it wasn't over (if over it proves to have been) until the fat boy sang his aria of love for the Prez. "@Now Christie ... must re-declare for Romney," Rupert tweeted of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, (above left) "or take blame for next four dire years."

It's great that the old goat's confidence is so undimmed by his travails that he feels able to issue such edicts. Yet the fiercely abrasive Governor Arbuckle may, if Romney loses, publicly wonder whether the responsibility was Rupert's. It was Fox News that empowered the Tea Party, after all, and thus drove Romney so far rightward to secure the nomination that his dash back to the centre lacked the credibility to oust even so vulnerable an incumbent. All being well in Ohio tomorrow, this GOP blame game should be the most tremendous fun.

Tragedy nears its final act

Less amusing will be what a Romney loss tells us about Rupert's mental enfeeblement. Once so adept at reading Anglo-American electoral runes, this would be the first time in memory he personally backed a loser. The fin de siecle air of the senescent tyrant railing, like Lear, at the ingratitude would render it a heartrendingly Pyrrhic victory for anyone who rues the passing of his imperium.

Mel sounds the alarm for sane folk everywhere

Can you guess who has her knick-knacks in a frightful tangle about a conspiracy to deny Mittens the Oval Office? It's only Melanie Phillips! All would be well if only the lamestream media paid the story due attention, blogs Mad Mel, but only Fox adequately covers the claim (or "rumour", as Fox prefers it) that the White House callously left embassy staff to die in Benghazi by ignoring CIA pleas for help. "A sickening scandal and an electoral game changer," she concludes, "but only in any sane universe." Aha. Surely some production company has the nous to commission the six-parter TV series The Sane Universe of Mad Mel Phillips? I'd watch it, and you would too.

Getting short with Andrew Marr

Someone needs to have a quiet word with Yvette Cooper about her wardrobe. When Yvette graced Andrew Marr's BBC1 witterfest to talk about something or other, it was impossible to follow a word thanks to her exceedingly short skirt – a garment that made sense, on a freezing and very wet morning in Shepherd's Bush, only if she was going straight from the Bumgroper's studio to an am-dram rehearsal of the Basic Instinct police interview room scene. I'm all gung ho for politicians having a hinterland, and even gunger for the Ice Pixie sexing it up. But not on the Lord's own Sabbath, eh?

Why Mr Mensch was off message

The post-parliamentary life of Louise Mensch fulfills its rich potential as she becomes a substitute Katie Price. Substituting for the Pricey in the Sun on Sunday, Louise (whose loyalty to the Murdochs is paying such rich columnar dividends) swatted husband Peter for blurting that she only quit because she knew she'd lose her Corby seat at the next election. "There were some (shall we say) raised eyebrows at the Mensch breakfast table when I read my beloved husband's interview..." she writes. This is very worrying. Marriage is all about communication – so the next time she makes a life-changing decision, she must explain why, and not leave him guessing wildly in the dark.

Leveson's chance to hold forth

A brief update on David Lawley-Wakelin, the chap charged under the Public Order Act with causing alarm or distress by interrupting Mr Tony Blair's Leveson testimony with the accusation of war crimes. Since only one person present seemed vaguely alarmed, David is now thinking of summonsing Lord Leveson as a star (if hostile) witness. Whether or not his lordship would find a trip to Highgate Magistrates a refreshing busman's holiday, he is advised to make no other plans for Friday week.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Austen Lloyd: Commercial Property Lawyer - Cheshire

Excellent Salary: Austen Lloyd: CHESHIRE MARKET TOWN - An exciting and rare o...

Austen Lloyd: Residential Property Solicitor - Hampshire

Excellent Salary : Austen Lloyd: NORTH HAMPSHIRE - SENIOR POSITION - An exciti...

Recruitment Genius: Gas Installation Engineer

£29000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Gas Installation Engineer is required ...

Recruitment Genius: Domestic Gas Technical Surveyor

£28000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Domestic Gas Technical Surveyor is req...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Michael Brown was shot and killed by police in August  

Ferguson: Sad truth is that Michael Brown was killed because he was a black man

Bonnie Greer
A protestor poses for a  

Ferguson verdict: This isn't a 'tragedy'. This is part of a long-running genocide of black men in America

Otamere Guobadia
Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: Drifting and forgotten - turning lives around for ex-soldiers

Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: Turning lives around for ex-soldiers

Our partner charities help veterans on the brink – and get them back on their feet
Putin’s far-right ambition: Think-tank reveals how Russian President is wooing – and funding – populist parties across Europe to gain influence in the EU

Putin’s far-right ambition

Think-tank reveals how Russian President is wooing – and funding – populist parties across Europe to gain influence in the EU
Tove Jansson's Moominland: What was the inspiration for Finland's most famous family?

Escape to Moominland

What was the inspiration for Finland's most famous family?
Nightclubbing with Richard Young: The story behind his latest book of celebrity photographs

24-Hour party person

Photographer Richard Young has been snapping celebrities at play for 40 years. As his latest book is released, he reveals that it wasn’t all fun and games
Michelle Obama's school dinners: America’s children have a message for the First Lady

A taste for rebellion

US children have started an online protest against Michelle Obama’s drive for healthy school meals by posting photos of their lunches
Colouring books for adults: How the French are going crazy for Crayolas

Colouring books for adults

How the French are going crazy for Crayolas
Jack Thorne's play 'Hope': What would you do as a local politician faced with an impossible choice of cuts?

What would you do as a local politician faced with an impossible choice of cuts?

Playwright Jack Thorne's latest work 'Hope' poses the question to audiences
Ed Harcourt on Romeo Beckham and life as a court composer at Burberry

Call me Ed Mozart

Paloma Faith, Lana del Ray... Romeo Beckham. Ed Harcourt has proved that he can write for them all. But it took a personal crisis to turn him from indie star to writer-for-hire
10 best stocking fillers for foodies

Festive treats: 10 best stocking fillers for foodies

From boozy milk to wasabi, give the food-lover in your life some extra-special, unusual treats to wake up to on Christmas morning
Phil Hughes head injury: He had one weakness – it has come back to haunt him

Phil Hughes had one weakness – it has come back to haunt him

Prolific opener had world at his feet until Harmison and Flintoff bounced him
'I have an age of attraction that starts as low as four': How do you deal with a paedophile who has never committed a crime?

'I am a paedophile'

Is our approach to sex offenders helping to create more victims?
How bad do you have to be to lose a Home Office contract?

How bad do you have to be to lose a Home Office contract?

Serco given Yarl’s Wood immigration contract despite ‘vast failings’
Green Party on the march in Bristol: From a lost deposit to victory

From a lost deposit to victory

Green Party on the march in Bristol
Putting the grot right into Santa's grotto

Winter blunderlands

Putting the grot into grotto
'It just came to us, why not do it naked?' London's first nude free runner captured in breathtaking images across capital

'It just came to us, why not do it naked?'

London's first nude free runner captured in breathtaking images across capital