My fingers feel as if they are repelling from the keyboard like polar magnets as I begin to type something vaguely in support of the most pointless, most vacuous Prime Minister in a hundred years, but here goes.
So, someone rang the Number 10 Press Office to ask if the Prime Minister agrees people should consider, in light of the British Gas price hike, wearing a jumper indoors to save money.
"Clearly, he is not going to prescribe the actions that individuals should take but if people are giving that advice that is something that people may wish to consider,” said the spokesperson.
Cue jumpergate. #Cameronheatingtips ignites on Twitter, courtesy of John Prescott (That said, ‘Frack Eric Pickles’ was rather funny, even if people in very well insulated glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. In fact, chez Prescott didn’t exactly look untoasty when its owner subjected himself to the ultimate indignity, and let Keith Lemon in on Through the Keyhole a couple of weeks ago).
"First he said Hug a Hoodie, now he’s saying wear one," was a joke so obvious it took Ed Miliband a mere three hours to steal it.
Now, in the last hour or so, the PM has clarified his position yet further:
"It is entirely false to suggest the PM would advise people they should wear jumpers to stay warm. Any suggestion to the contrary is mischief making," a statement said.
A less constrained press office than Number 10’s might have replaced ‘mischief making’ with ‘b****cks.’ One rather wishes they had.
But more to the point, even had he done so it would hardly be a crime. It will not be long before the seasonal bombardment of jumpers resplendent with elves and reindeer and stockings and big fat Santas will be upon us. These, shock horror, are designed to be worn around the Christmas lunch table. Since when has wearing a jumper indoors been an affront to human dignity?