Matthew Norman on Monday: Manuscript features memories of a youthful George Osborne

A book about to be published will allegedly be embarrassing for the Chancellor
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In another fearsome instance of Jungian synchronicity, reports the Sunday People in not precisely those words, one Natalie Rowe has had her home raided by police days shortly before the publication of an autobiography in which she will share further memories of a youthful George Osborne. Ms Rowe, under her professional sobriquet “Miss Pain”, is the sex worker in the second most embarrassing photo featuring George (after that haughty New-Romantic-meets-Regency-Dandy Bullingdon snap).

The police were apparently hunting for drugs (none were found) rather than manuscripts. “I’d like to think the fact that I’ve been unfairly targeted has nothing to do with the fact that my book is about to be published, which happens to be very embarrassing for the Chancellor,” Ms Rowe says. She insists that she is not into conspiracy theories. But many are and you can’t help wishing that one such theorist was newly installed at the Home Office, and in a position to investigate the Met raid. In the regrettable absence of such a minister, perhaps Norman Baker might take a little look?

Some sympathy for Paul Dacre

You spend ages waiting for Paul Dacre’s public defence of “the man who hated Britain”, and then it arrives twice. On Saturday, in both his own title, the Daily Mail, and The Guardian, Dacre finally lifted his head above the parapet to rail against the evil cabal of lefties sneering at the values of his loyal army of readers. Yet he did make one decent point. “Orchestrating this bile was ... Alastair Campbell,” he wrote. “Fair-minded readers will wonder why a man who helped drive Dr David Kelly to his death ... is given so much airtime by the BBC.” As will non-Mail fans such as Robert Harris, who last week described Ali as “the only man who can make one feel sympathetic to Paul Dacre”. I’m all for positive discrimination, but the state broadcaster’s indulgence of suspected war criminals takes a noble principle too far.

Does Tom Watson need a hug?

Concern mounts for that heroic anti-Murdoch freedom fighter Tom Watson. Since resigning as Labour’s campaign co-ordinator in July, the once sociable Tom has become alarmingly isolated. One minute, the only Labour MP to back Adam Afriyie’s early EU referendum masterstroke, the next, the only one to attend Damian McBride’s book launch... Next week, Tom could be the only Labour MP calling for Jack Straw to be rewarded with the newly created Dukedom of Blackburn for any part he played in facilitating the rendition of terrorist suspects. Tom seems terribly lonely these days. So if you see him isolated in the Stranger’s Bar, go over and give him a bear hug. No, Eric Joyce, not you. No good can come of that.

Thatcher was ‘a love’ of Aitken’s life

Whether or not Tom was the only Labour MP at its launch, I enjoyed the serialisation of the new book in which Jonathan Aitken pretends to have known Mrs Thatcher more intimately than anyone else. No one will doubt the reformed con’s word on anything, let alone speculate that his reference to Carol Thatcher as “one of the loves of my life” was possibly a mistranscription of “someone I slept with for as long as I thought it might help my career, and ditched the moment it became inescapably plain that her mother loathed me beyond redemption”.

Power struggle at ‘The Lady’ to hit the stage

I am intrigued to hear that the amusing power struggle at The Lady of a few years back between the then editor Rachel Johnson and the owner, Julia Budworth, is being turned into a musical play. Casting details remain scarce, though Liz Smith is thought to be the first choice for Ms B, who referred to her editor as “penis obsessed”, while Anthea Turner’s agent fails to deny that she is slated for Rachel. How far off-off-off-Theatreland the run might be is also unknown. Orkney’s third largest theatre is an early favourite.

After Iain Duncan Smith...

If Anthea declines, it may be because she has hopes of a front-bench job. After the promotions of Labour’s Gloria De Piero and Tories Anna Soubry and Esther McVey (not forgetting Gordon Brown’s attempt to hire Fiona Phillips), Anthea is one of very few breakfast telly titans to be overlooked. David Cameron is expected to correct this next summer by making her a Defence minister and appointing Baron (formerly Mr) Motivator as Work and Pensions Secretary. “Motivator’s no genius,” a Downing Street source said last night, “but, unlike the incumbent, he does not define angioplasty as ‘that woman who sang in the Eurovision Song Contest for Ireland’. After Iain Duncan Smith, that’s good enough for us.”