My limerick for 2014

It's been a tumultuous year, filled to the brim with Ukip, Isis, celebrity bottoms and misguided tweets

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The Independent Online

'Tis the season of goodwill and cheer
At the end of a tumultuous year
Of Ukip and Isis
And financial crisis
And a cyber attack from Korea

It was the year when the Scots had their say
To stay in Britain: aye or nay?
And when the chips were down
Up stepped Gordon Brown
Who heroically carried the day

The Scots are a most patriotic nation
Who couldn't stand the thought of separation
It turned out that sterling
Was as Scottish as curling 
And living off oil was an aberration

So Alex was first out the door
He could not have tried any more
His timing was sound
To not be around
When the price of Brent Crude hit the floor

Thus the stage was left for Farage
To be the provocateur at large
And shake up the scene
With his PR machine
Over here, Nige. One more. Just say “Fromage”

He led Ukip's colourful army
Including the weird and the barmy
But they appealed to the man
Who drove the white van
While their opponents resorted to smarmy

Ms Thornberry should have kept shut her gob
For she exposed herself as a snob
When taking the mick
With an ill-advised pic
And she paid for that tweet with her job

On Planet Celeb, what a year!
Brad Pitt, he came house hunting here
A wedding for Clooney
A record for Rooney
All hail Kim Kardashian's rear!

There are stars that we take to our heart
The Beckhams, The Pitts, for a start
Pharell? He's happy
But Jay-Z was snappy
While others saw their lives fall apart

Each one was a national treasure
A megastar by any true measure
But Sir Cliff's star faded
The day he got raided
And Rolf? He's at Her Majesty's Pleasure

A comedian advised revolution
But he offered no real solution
It was good for his Brand
To have thoughts so grand
But it was only a Messiah delusion

So the year ended with a cyber attack
When North Korea learnt how to hack
Sony was furious
About revelations injurious
Angelina a diva? Take it back!

Going forward, as politicians will say
There's an election this year, in May
Ed, Dave or Nick
You take your pick
Or Nigel, to keep Bulgarians away

New year brings new promise, does it not?
Did I like the last one? Not a lot
But the slate is wiped clean
For twenty fifteen
And old acquaintance can now be forgot

Happy New Year!

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