Never mind Mcfly's Tom Fletcher, the rules for a good wedding speech are the same as ever

The guitarist experimented, but for everyone else, this isn't the time for new material

Share
Related Topics

If you are getting married this year, congratulations! But I have bad news, particularly if you happen to be the groom, or are planning to make a speech. (It doesn’t always have to be the groom, of course.) The bar has been raised.

Tom Fletcher, guitarist with McFly, this week posted his wedding speech on YouTube. Yes, bit of a weird thing to do but these are the times we live in. Soon people will be posting their birthing videos to Twitter. They probably already are but I’m not doing that search.

In the speech, Fletcher diligently bigs up his best man, flatters the bridesmaids, thanks both sets of parents and gushes over his bride. It’s a little on the long side, but it’s by-the-book stuff. Except for the fact that he sings it. All 14 minutes, 40 seconds of it. To the tune of McFly’s No 1 hits, “ Obviously” and “It’s All About You”. And then he throws in a children’s choir at the end.

You’d have to have a concrete heart not to find it sweet. And although I’m not sure that any declaration of eternal love should end with a bellowed “Everybody give it up for the Sylvia Young Theatre School choir!”, if you were a rock star, why wouldn’t you showboat on your big day? The problem is, many of the 4.8 million who have watched the video online are not rock stars but that won’t stop them being inspired. Just as 2012 was the year of the showy proposal – Nick Candy’s flaming torches on the beach; that man who re-created the Bruno Mars video, and so on – 2013 will be the year of the wedding serenade. So that’s something to look forward to. As yet, Debrett’s, which tends towards the pinched, Hugh-Grant-in-Four-Weddings school of emoting – “He can also present both mothers (if applicable) with bouquets. He then says a few words about his beautiful new wife” – doesn’t offer tips on sung speeches.

Sung or not, the rules for grooms don’t change. Keep it short: everyone is starving and dying for you to hand over to the best man. This is not the time to try out edgy “new material”. Don’t spend longer talking about your love for your best man than for your bride. (I’ve heard it done.) Crying is OK, but not so much that you can’t get your words out. And, if you must do a McFly, remember, it’s not all about you.

*

It has drawn lukewarm, and worse, reviews from the critics but the film version of Midnight's Children has at least one high-profile fan: Sir Salman Rushdie. The author of the original novel, who also adapted it for the big screen and leads the credits as executive producer, is quoted on the poster saying: "I am really proud of this film."

That's nice, but it's also the very least you might expect from someone who is so thoroughly invested in the film. Billboards have always been a dodgy business. Words are plucked from reviews and marooned from their context – "stunning", with "in its ineptitude" lopped off, that sort of thing. The verdicts of minor publications and, in the case of The Impossible this week, members of the public are given equal billing with the world's most-respected film critics, in the name of putting bums on seats. And now interested parties are popping up to have their say on them, too.

Next up, Daniel Craig quoted on the new 007 billboard saying: "Bond has never been better"; Helen Mirren tips herself for an Oscar in the tagline of her next movie; and Harvey Weinstein tells audiences: "This movie will change your life." They might be among the best in the business at make-believe, but even they can't think audiences will swallow that.

React Now

  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: Practice Accountant - Bournemouth - £38,000

£32000 - £38000 per annum: Ashdown Group: A successful accountancy practice in...

SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

£18000 - £23000 per annum + Uncapped commission: SThree: Does earning a 6 figu...

Recruitment Genius: SEO Executive

£18000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

Recruitment Genius: New Lift Sales Executive - Lift and Elevators

£35000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A challenging opportunity for a...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

For all his faults, Russell Brand is utterly sincere, something politicians should emulate

Janet Street-Porter
 

Never underestimate the power of the National Trust

Boyd Tonkin
The saffron censorship that governs India: Why national pride and religious sentiment trump freedom of expression

The saffron censorship that governs India

Zareer Masani reveals why national pride and religious sentiment trump freedom of expression
Prince Charles' 'black spider' letters to be published 'within weeks'

Prince Charles' 'black spider' letters to be published 'within weeks'

Supreme Court rules Dominic Grieve's ministerial veto was invalid
Distressed Zayn Malik fans are cutting themselves - how did fandom get so dark?

How did fandom get so dark?

Grief over Zayn Malik's exit from One Direction seemed amusing until stories of mass 'cutting' emerged. Experts tell Gillian Orr the distress is real, and the girls need support
The galaxy collisions that shed light on unseen parallel Universe

The cosmic collisions that have shed light on unseen parallel Universe

Dark matter study gives scientists insight into mystery of space
The Swedes are adding a gender-neutral pronoun to their dictionary

Swedes introduce gender-neutral pronoun

Why, asks Simon Usborne, must English still struggle awkwardly with the likes of 's/he' and 'they'?
Disney's mega money-making formula: 'Human' remakes of cartoon classics are part of a lucrative, long-term creative plan

Disney's mega money-making formula

'Human' remakes of cartoon classics are part of a lucrative, long-term creative plan
Lobster has gone mainstream with supermarket bargains for £10 or less - but is it any good?

Lobster has gone mainstream

Anthea Gerrie, raised on meaty specimens from the waters around Maine, reveals how to cook up an affordable feast
Easter 2015: 14 best decorations

14 best Easter decorations

Get into the Easter spirit with our pick of accessories, ornaments and tableware
Paul Scholes column: Gareth Bale would be a perfect fit at Manchester United and could turn them into serious title contenders next season

Paul Scholes column

Gareth Bale would be a perfect fit at Manchester United and could turn them into serious title contenders next season
Inside the Kansas greenhouses where Monsanto is 'playing God' with the future of the planet

The future of GM

The greenhouses where Monsanto 'plays God' with the future of the planet
Britain's mild winters could be numbered: why global warming is leaving UK chillier

Britain's mild winters could be numbered

Gulf Stream is slowing down faster than ever, scientists say
Government gives £250,000 to Independent appeal

Government gives £250,000 to Independent appeal

Donation brings total raised by Homeless Veterans campaign to at least £1.25m
Oh dear, the most borrowed book at Bank of England library doesn't inspire confidence

The most borrowed book at Bank of England library? Oh dear

The book's fifth edition is used for Edexcel exams
Cowslips vs honeysuckle: The hunt for the UK’s favourite wildflower

Cowslips vs honeysuckle

It's the hunt for UK’s favourite wildflower
Child abuse scandal: Did a botched blackmail attempt by South African intelligence help Cyril Smith escape justice?

Did a botched blackmail attempt help Cyril Smith escape justice?

A fresh twist reveals the Liberal MP was targeted by the notorious South African intelligence agency Boss