One portion too many of Heston Blumenthal

TV chefs are everywhere at the moment

(Getty Images)

It is probably too much to hope that 2014 will bring at least a small reduction in the time our television stations spend on programmes about the cooking and consumption of food, occasionally followed by a concerned documentary about obesity and food obsession.

TV chefs are everywhere at the moment. While the crazy lifestyle of one is pitilessly revealed in Isleworth Crown Court, the self-importance of another has been given full rein in a press interview. Promoting his new Channel 4 show about what he calls “big food” (I think he means ordinary meals), Heston Blumenthal manages to be boastful even while trying to be modest. “I’m not trying to create a new human genome,” he told the Daily Telegraph.”We chefs like to think we are the fourth emergency service, or the centre of the universe. Actually, the amount of people we cook for is tiny compared with the general population.”

What a profound insight that is from the thinking TV chef. The most reliable recipe to be taken from the modern TV cookery programme is: Take one ego, place it in a television studio kitchen, switch on the cameras, and watch it rise like a perfect soufflé.

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