Shell shock: How to be more intimate with your dinner

 

Share

Woody Allen once said: "Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television." Well, sometimes life can imitate good television as well. The US comedy sketch show Portlandia may have had only a limited Netflix release in the UK, but one of its jokes has proved rather prescient.

The sketch in question features a couple sitting down at a restaurant and deciding to order chicken. But before they do so, they have a handful of questions for their waitress: "What kind of breed is the chicken, where was it raised, was it allowed to roam free, what was its name [Colin]" and so on and so forth, before they decide to visit the farm to check Colin's provenance for themselves.

The reason I'm telling you this is that a pop-up collaboration between Krug champagne and hot new restaurant Beast (on London's South Bank from 3 to 7 September) features QR codes on the Norwegian king crabs that reveal details of where the crab was caught, when and the name of the fisherman and his boat. Other eateries also exploring the potential of this technology include The Ginger Pig, which provides "minute by minute detail" of its beef's slaughter.

Possibly best to not try that in McDonald's any time soon.

The mighty Quinn

Here's a story to make anyone over the age of 20 feel old. It involves a scandal in the videogame world and it speaks volumes about the dominance of men in that particular industry.

Zoe Quinn is a games developer who decided last week, in the wake of Robin Williams's suicide, to release her "interactive novel and educational aid" Depression Quest. Simultaneously, an ex-boyfriend of Quinn's, one Eron Gjoni, decided to accuse her of cheating on him, with graphic details and "evidence", on his blog. None of which would matter except that Gjoni said Quinn cheated on him with, among others, a man who reviews videogames for an influential gamers' guide called Kotaku. Cue accusations of "corruption" and a social-media hate campaign, in spite of the fact that no review of Depression Quest has ever appeared in Kotaku.

Quinn's response? A blog entry that, though it claims, "I'm not going to talk about it – it is not your goddamned business", adds that, "harassment, sending my home address around... memes about me being a whore, slurs of every variety [and these are the least of it]... all of these things are inexcusable and will continue to happen to women until this culture changes. I'm certainly not the first. I wish I could be the last." The final word on the subject? Methinks not.

Grand slam

Talking of true words spoken in jest (see "Shell shock"), anyone who has seen the film Zoolander will probably remember the "Derelicte" clothing range described as "a fashion, a way of life inspired by the homeless, the vagrants and the crack whores who make this city so unique".

Guess what? The venerable American shoe and boot company Frye has, among other items in its latest collection, a footwear item called Prison Boot in handsome "distressed, waxed suede". Frye's creative director Michael Petry told the industry website Garmental that the Prison Boot was just about his favourite item in the company's Anniversary Collection: "[It] is based on the Arkansas prison boots that are issued to the prisoners, [but] we remade it and made it a little more comfortable."

And all that comfort and style for $358 (about £215). Insert your own daylight robbery gag here.

Toilet humour

While Greggs was getting plaudits for its command of social media, one Scarborough ice-cream parlour was quietly commanding respect on Twitter for its response to a bad review on Trip Advisor.

"The toilet when I took my little grandson was filthy and had obviously not been checked for a while," wrote one Laurin M on the site last year. In response, Julian Alonzi, the owner of Harbour Bar, has now put up a sign in said toilet that reads: "This toilet is dedicated to Laurin M (Trip Advisor review 2013)".

"It's a shame that people feel they have to do that," says Alonzi. "It's like they're throwing bricks from the other side of a wall. If they would only come and speak to us, we would do everything we could to put things right. We are a family business, and while I know we could just not read reviews or take them on the chin, we take negative comments personally."

So you decided to dedicate your toilet in response? "Yes. It was my private little joke and it gives me a little comfort."

No rhyme or reason

Another in a regular series of limericks based on recent events:

Before you throw ice on your head

Just because some celebrity said

Ask yourself if it's funny

When you could just give money

And not be so easily led.

twitter.com/@simmyrichman

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Bookkeeper / Office Co-ordinator

£9 per hour: Recruitment Genius: This role is based within a small family run ...

Recruitment Genius: Designer - Print & Digital

£28000 - £32000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This Design and marketing agenc...

Recruitment Genius: Quantity Surveyor

£46000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This property investment firm are lookin...

Recruitment Genius: Telesales / Telemarketing Executive - OTE £30k / £35k plus

£18000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company specialises provid...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Errors & Omissions: When is a baroness not a baroness? Titles still cause confusion

Guy Keleny
 

CPAC 2015: What I learnt from the US — and what the US could learn from Ukip

Nigel Farage
War with Isis: Fears that the looming battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

The battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

Aid agencies prepare for vast exodus following planned Iraqi offensive against the Isis-held city, reports Patrick Cockburn
Yvette Cooper: We can't lose the election. There's too much on the line

Yvette Cooper: We can't lose the election. There's too much on the line

The shadow Home Secretary on fighting radical Islam, protecting children, and why anyone in Labour who's thinking beyond May must 'sort themselves out'
A bad week for the Greens: Leader Natalie Bennett's 'car crash' radio interview is followed by Brighton council's failure to set a budget due to infighting

It's not easy being Green

After a bad week in which its leader had a public meltdown and its only city council couldn't agree on a budget vote, what next for the alternative party? It's over to Caroline Lucas to find out
Gorillas nearly missed: BBC producers didn't want to broadcast Sir David Attenborough's famed Rwandan encounter

Gorillas nearly missed

BBC producers didn't want to broadcast Sir David Attenborough's famed Rwandan encounter
Downton Abbey effect sees impoverished Italian nobles inspired to open their doors to paying guests for up to €650 a night

The Downton Abbey effect

Impoverished Italian nobles are opening their doors to paying guests, inspired by the TV drama
China's wild panda numbers have increased by 17% since 2003, new census reveals

China's wild panda numbers on the up

New census reveals 17% since 2003
Barbara Woodward: Britain's first female ambassador to China intends to forge strong links with the growing economic superpower

Our woman in Beijing builds a new relationship

Britain's first female ambassador to China intends to forge strong links with growing economic power
Courage is rare. True humility is even rarer. But the only British soldier to be awarded the Victoria Cross in Afghanistan has both

Courage is rare. True humility is even rarer

Beware of imitations, but the words of the soldier awarded the Victoria Cross were the real thing, says DJ Taylor
Alexander McQueen: The catwalk was a stage for the designer's astonishing and troubling vision

Alexander McQueen's astonishing vision

Ahead of a major retrospective, Alexander Fury talks to the collaborators who helped create the late designer's notorious spectacle
New BBC series savours half a century of food in Britain, from Vesta curries to nouvelle cuisine

Dinner through the decades

A new BBC series challenged Brandon Robshaw and his family to eat their way from the 1950s to the 1990s
Philippa Perry interview: The psychotherapist on McDonald's, fancy specs and meeting Grayson Perry on an evening course

Philippa Perry interview

The psychotherapist on McDonald's, fancy specs and meeting Grayson Perry on an evening course
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef recreates the exoticism of the Indonesian stir-fry

Bill Granger's Indonesian stir-fry recipes

Our chef was inspired by the south-east Asian cuisine he encountered as a teenager
Chelsea vs Tottenham: Harry Kane was at Wembley to see Spurs beat the Blues and win the Capital One Cup - now he's their great hope

Harry Kane interview

The striker was at Wembley to see Spurs beat the Blues and win the Capital One Cup - now he's their great hope
The Last Word: For the good of the game: why on earth don’t we leave Fifa?

Michael Calvin's Last Word

For the good of the game: why on earth don’t we leave Fifa?
HIV pill: Scientists hail discovery of 'game-changer' that cuts the risk of infection among gay men by 86%

Scientists hail daily pill that protects against HIV infection

Breakthrough in battle against global scourge – but will the NHS pay for it?