Ever wanted to find love, but couldn’t really be bothered to go looking for it? Well, joy of joys, this Valentine's day, there’s now an app for that. SinglesAroundMe (SAM) is a new application that lets you search for your soulmate by employing the most important relationship criteria — no, it’s not mutual interests, common values or similar life goals — it’s proximity.
The app for lazy people lets you search by age, sex and location and also allows you to search by area — Greater London, or Argyll and Bute, for example. Users can also select how much about their location they wish to reveal — choosing between “Exact”, “Hidden” or “Approximate” — which displays their location on a map within a 1-2 mile radius.
The app is aimed at people with romance in mind, but appears to be founded on the Grindr and Blendr principle of attraction — that if you’re lonely enough and horny enough, all discretion will vanish and you’ll be willing to shag someone just because they are THERE. That’s not to mention the criticism that these sorts of geo-location dating tools have come under for exposing the user to danger — what if your date is using a false identity to lure you into a quiet location and then mugs you, or worse?
If you have any doubts about the long-term success of relationships forged through the app’s GPS-based technology, you should read the winning endorsements from people who have — quite literally — fallen in love with the boy or girl next door*.
“I always had a feeling there was a spark between me and my neighbour, but being part of Generation X, I am unable to communicate effectively through speech or body language” writes “Kelly XvXV3XV3XXXXX” 18, From Suffolk, “By using SAM, I was able to discover that Tim, my neighbour, really fancied me, without even having leave the sofa or stop watching TV. Now we are so in love, we tweet each other every day!”
Craig, 30, from Essex, has a similar tale “I couldn’t really be bothered with all that mushy dating stuff, and the SAM app lets you get straight down to business, wham bam, thank you ma’am. I had a few encounters with different women, but finally decided to settle for Carol, who was the least demanding. Anything for an easy life!”
And I was beginning to think romance was dead.
* As imagined by me.