Alison Taylor on relationships: Why do geeks find me scary?


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The Independent Online

It's official: geeks are hot. I say official because last week Twitter-users voted the word 'adorkable' (a blend of 'adorable' and 'dork') into the next edition of the Collins English Dictionary.

I've long been a fan, romantically speaking, of the geek. Alas, I'm not sure the feeling's mutual.

I thought about this the other day when I was re-watching American indie flick, Adventureland, and having a private drool over Premier League Dork, Jesse Eisenberg (also of The Social Network fame). I felt moved to tweet: "I love boys like Jesse Eisenberg but they're always scared of me". Why is this so?

I would happily be proved wrong, of course, but there's something about the adorkables and me that doesn't quite fit. "Geeks mate within their own kind," was my (somewhat outspoken) friend's take on the subject. "They'll think you're a dolly bird." Erm, cheers.

I'd like to think I'm neither a dolly bird, nor scary, but it did get me thinking back to years ago when I had a crush on a geek-boy at work.

Erik with a K had the graphic design-y glasses, the preppy outfits, the groovy ergonomic chair and the encyclopaedic knowledge of, well, most things. He was also funny, kind and prone to going to see obscure films at the weekend. Tick! Tick! Tick!

Anyway, I fancied him but didn't think for a second he would fancy me. Until... he quite literally threw himself at me over the turnstile in a Tube station after the Christmas do and his glasses steamed up (no joke).

I was shocked. And flattered. And acutely aware I was entering previously uncharted territory.

We dated for a while and though it didn't turn into a lasting love, I think that's when the blueprint was set for me and geeks: I'm definitely the one that's in awe.

It's forbidden fruit, the like of which, sadly, hasn't passed my lips since gorgeously nerdy Erik.

So I've had to make do with fantasising about Adventureland's Jarvis (who should really be my husband) and, latterly, that other awkward indie darling, Michael Cera.

All of this tapers into wider discussion about whether one ought to have 'a type'.

Personally, I've never liked to limit my options in that way, largely because I see romance everywhere (except maybe in those flame-swallower types at festivals).

I just need somebody with similarly tastes: I'd like to think there's a dork out there willing to have a crack at me. I'm not that scary.