Charles Nevin: Abundant berries... a cold winter

Start the week: Sri Lanka has more elephants than it thought it had
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The Independent Online

Happy Monday. You will be looking for some good news. Well, following a survey, Sri Lanka has more elephants than it thought it had. We should be celebrating, too, the patenting 131 years ago on Wednesday of the clay pigeon by George Ligowsky of Cincinnati, which was certainly excellent news for proper pigeons. There is also a truly rich crop of berries currently and, thankfully, the Health and Safety Executive employee who tripped over one of those bright yellow "Caution:Wet Floor" bollards at his office last year seemingly sustained nothing more serious than a groin strain.

Dedicated to correcting the lazy assumptions widely proposed re the British character, I note a survey revealing that one in 10 of us has had sex on a plane, often with a complete stranger. Having given the matter further thought, though, I have concluded that this is an example of that traditional strength, making our own entertainment, and is clearly a direct result of all these airlines charging for sandwiches.

Were you playing golf at the weekend? A warning about those checked trousers and other accoutrements: a golfer in Batavia, New York, has been arrested after police received reports that a man dressed as a clown was stealing a golf buggy. I'm not sure if all the wheels fell off.

Wednesday and Friday would have been the 118th and 121st birthdays respectively of Leslie Hore-Belisha, the 1930s Transport Minister of beacon fame, and Colonel Sanders of fried chicken fame. Why not ask for a special discount on Friday? I've always liked, too, Queen Mary's inquiry to King George V: "Who is this Hore-Belisha?"; and His Majesty's reply: "Don't ask me. Never heard of the woman."

More research reveals our brains are programmed to be especially alert to other living things. This might prove useful presently, as the warm spring and cool summer have been perfect for spiders. Those big ones, by the way, will be False Widows, not the rare, potentially-lethal Black Widows. Look closely: if they have red markings, that's really bad luck. And, apparently, the abundant berries mentioned earlier portend a very cold winter. Happy Monday.