Happy Early May Holiday. How's it going? I know, I know. Fun fatigue setting in all round. Still, you could always pick up some basic bushcraft skills in Essex (at Marks Hall, Coggeshall); and "Change Partners" day at the Howard Lawn Tennis Club, Littlehampton, sounds most promising. Don't forget, either, Hull against St Helens at the KC Stadium. Otherwise, the Salsa Class at Weybridge Social Club seems to be off, and there's a cautious note to the British Schools Museum May Day celebrations in Hitchin: "Maypole Dancing, English Country Dancing. It is hoped the Offley Morris Men will join us. Indoors if wet". Splendid. And only 28 days to go until the next one.
Time for my usual gee-up as you face the week and try to remember where you work. And, luckily, we have the centenary of the birth of another great American Blues man, Robert Johnson. Anything in his oeuvre to provide that little lark ascendant and skip in the stride? "My mama dead, papa well's to be, ain't got nobody to love and care for me ... Ou ou ou ou ou ou hee vee oh woe, all my love's in vain." Thanks, Bob.
Unease about the rising cost of these two new aircraft carriers, I see. Perhaps they could perform other valuable services when not required to facilitate bombing places. 1. Brighton is short one pier. 2. So is Hastings. 3. Travellers are always short of sites. 4. Fantastic drying space, given long enough clothes lines. 5. You could walk to the Isle of Wight. 6. Great for marbles (see below). 7. Large-ish Hadron Colliders. 8. Extra parking. 9. Cruises for Claustrophobics. 10. Endurance hopscotch.
Finally, here's my indispensable round-up of events possibly lost amid the Windsorsteria: the World Marbles Championships in Crawley have been won by a German. Rabbit showjumping is becoming popular in Europe. An allotment gardener in xeter has found a thrush nesting in his rhubarb. A 14-year-old boy in Cirencester has finished a 24,000-piece jigsaw. A BBC radio presenter has had erotic dreams about George Osborne. Nothing yet on Mr Justice Eady. But I can confirm the Morris Men will be dancing in Hitchin. And there's a car boot sale in Slingsby. Happy Early May Holiday.