Deborah Ross: I spend most of my day laughing at the privileged

If you ask me

Share

If you ask me, although I do my best to be a good person and a decent person and a kind person, I can now see that I am, in fact, horrible and unthinking and cruel. I realised this when I read an impassioned piece by a posh and privileged person saying the only group in society that is still considered a free-for-all on the jokes front is, yes, the posh and privileged, as evidenced by the Gap Yah sketches and the character JP in the Channel 4 sitcom Fresh Meat, and the moment I read all this I knew it: I am as guilty as anyone, and a complete disgrace.

I have always laughed at privileged people, I'm deeply ashamed to say. Some days, even, I get up laughing at the privileged, go to bed laughing at the privileged and, as for the hours in between, I spend them mostly laughing at the privileged. I have even been known to wake up in the middle of the night, chuckling at how much some people will pay for a pair of underpants from Jack Wills, for example, or on one of those handbags described as "must have". Must have or what? I suspect a must-have handbag is never as must-have as the polio vaccine, say... Oh, look. There I go again. I am despicable. I am repellent. I am beyond the pale. I should be thrashed or, at the very least, dispatched to boarding school, on a train, on my own, with only Nanny to see me off.

So I must desist from mocking the posh and privileged, but how? How, when all my own funds are so entirely tied up in Making Ends Meet? How, when I read that Victoria Beckham's latest bag is now available from Selfridges for £9,000? How, when I live with a man who, when asked to guess the price of the aforementioned bag, came back with "you wouldn't ask if it wasn't expensive so... £70?" and then, on learning the truth, yelped: "But you can buy a Kia Picanto for that! With a seven-year warranty!"

Actually, if I were rich and privileged, you know what I'd do? I'd drive my nicer car back to my nicer house and while the kids were out at their nicer schools I'd kick off my nicer shoes and pour myself a large, nicer port and sink back into my nicer armchair and think: "Also, I don't have to live with a man who is impressed by budget cars and does not mind showing himself up in this regard." What I am saying is this: who is having the last laugh, really? Come on.

d.ross@independent.co.uk

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
SPONSORED FEATURES
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Sales Executive or Senior Sales Executive - B2B Exhibitions

£18000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Sales Executive or Senior Sal...

Recruitment Genius: Head of Support Services

£40000 - £55000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

Recruitment Genius: Warehouse Team Leader

£22000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This industry leading company produces h...

Recruitment Genius: Business Development Manager / Sales - OTE £40,000

£20000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This IT provider for the educat...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Errors & Omissions: the strange case of the errant royal pronoun

Guy Keleny
Flowers and candles are placed at the site where a refrigerated truck with decomposing bodies was found by an Austrian motorway  

EU migrant crisis: The 71 people found dead in a lorry should have reached sanctuary

Charlotte Mcdonald-Gibson
The Silk Roads that trace civilisation: Long before the West rose to power, Asian pathways were connecting peoples and places

The Silk Roads that trace civilisation

Long before the West rose to power, Asian pathways were connecting peoples and places
House of Lords: Outcry as donors, fixers and MPs caught up in expenses scandal are ennobled

The honours that shame Britain

Outcry as donors, fixers and MPs caught up in expenses scandal are ennobled
When it comes to street harassment, we need to talk about race

'When it comes to street harassment, we need to talk about race'

Why are black men living the stereotypes and why are we letting them get away with it?
International Tap Festival: Forget Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers - this dancing is improvised, spontaneous and rhythmic

International Tap Festival comes to the UK

Forget Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers - this dancing is improvised, spontaneous and rhythmic
War with Isis: Is Turkey's buffer zone in Syria a matter of self-defence – or just anti-Kurd?

Turkey's buffer zone in Syria: self-defence – or just anti-Kurd?

Ankara accused of exacerbating racial division by allowing Turkmen minority to cross the border
Doris Lessing: Acclaimed novelist was kept under MI5 observation for 18 years, newly released papers show

'A subversive brothel keeper and Communist'

Acclaimed novelist Doris Lessing was kept under MI5 observation for 18 years, newly released papers show
Big Blue Live: BBC's Springwatch offshoot swaps back gardens for California's Monterey Bay

BBC heads to the Californian coast

The Big Blue Live crew is preparing for the first of three episodes on Sunday night, filming from boats, planes and an aquarium studio
Austin Bidwell: The Victorian fraudster who shook the Bank of England with the most daring forgery the world had known

Victorian fraudster who shook the Bank of England

Conman Austin Bidwell. was a heartless cad who carried out the most daring forgery the world had known
Car hacking scandal: Security designed to stop thieves hot-wiring almost every modern motor has been cracked

Car hacking scandal

Security designed to stop thieves hot-wiring almost every modern motor has been cracked
10 best placemats

Take your seat: 10 best placemats

Protect your table and dine in style with a bold new accessory
Ashes 2015: Alastair Cook not the only one to be caught in The Oval mindwarp

Cook not the only one to be caught in The Oval mindwarp

Aussie skipper Michael Clarke was lured into believing that what we witnessed at Edgbaston and Trent Bridge would continue in London, says Kevin Garside
Can Rafael Benitez get the best out of Gareth Bale at Real Madrid?

Can Benitez get the best out of Bale?

Back at the club he watched as a boy, the pressure is on Benitez to find a winning blend from Real's multiple talents. As La Liga begins, Pete Jenson asks if it will be enough to stop Barcelona
Athletics World Championships 2015: Beijing witnesses new stage in the Jessica Ennis-Hill and Katarina Johnson-Thompson heptathlon rivalry

Beijing witnesses new stage in the Jess and Kat rivalry

The last time the two British heptathletes competed, Ennis-Hill was on the way to Olympic gold and Johnson-Thompson was just a promising teenager. But a lot has happened in the following three years
Jeremy Corbyn: Joining a shrewd operator desperate for power as he visits the North East

Jeremy Corbyn interview: A shrewd operator desperate for power

His radical anti-austerity agenda has caught the imagination of the left and politically disaffected and set a staid Labour leadership election alight
Isis executes Palmyra antiquities chief: Defender of ancient city's past was killed for protecting its future

Isis executes Palmyra antiquities chief

Robert Fisk on the defender of the ancient city's past who was killed for protecting its future