Deborah Ross: If you ask me... (15/12/11)

If you ask me...

If you ask me, I am a failure at Twitter, and I say this even though a car dealer in Arkansas is following me, as well as a furniture shop in the Midlands. In an ideal world and if I were more popular and could work it better, my timeline would look like this:

@deborahross Here is my Indy column today

@MonicaAli Love it! (retweeted by @deborahross)

@MartinAmis You nailed it as usual! (retweeted by @deborahross)

@WoodyAllen Read @deborahross's column today. So funny I pissed myself (retweeted by @deborahross)

@DemiMoore This column is so brilliant it almost took my mind off Ashton, the dick (retweeted by @deborahross)

@God Your col best thing I've read since Moses. (retweeted by @deborahross)

@Moses Damn you!!!!!!!!!! *jealous face* (retweeted by @deborahross)

@Satan Don't often agree with God but this col is a must-read! (retweeted by @deborahross)

@deborahross THANK YOU! SO MANY COMPLIMENTS! CAN'T REPLY TO ALL PERSONALLY! *bashful face*

@deborahross @God @WoodyAllen @MonicaAli @PresidentObama @LarryDavid @DavidBowie Yes, would be DIVINE to get together soon. Next Tues? *excited face*

@deborahross @PresidentObama The Ivy, as usual? Can't wait to catch up!

@deborahross @ChrisBlackhurst. Aw, you say the nicest things! *star employee face* *best columnist face* #ohnonotanotherpayrise

@StephenFry Have only just caught up with this col. @deborahross makes me wonder why I bother! *gnashes teeth* (retweeted by @deborahross)

@KirstieAllsopp I love this col and @deborahross. Please come for Christmas. (retweeted by @deborahross)

@deborahross @ChrisBlackhurst. I can't write the whole paper!

@deborahross @KirstyAllsopp Thanks, darlin' but we're going to @LadyGaGa this year. Boxing Day?

@God @deborahross @WoodyAllen @MonicaAli @PresidentObama @DavidBowie @LarryDavid. Yippee!

@deborahross I don't know why @NewYorker is always at me to pen 20,000 word essays. Don't they have anyone else they can ask?

@deborahross And @ElleDecoration who always want to put my house on the cover. THERE ARE OTHER HOUSES! #fedupofbeingsostylish

@ArkansasFord We sell motor cars in Arkansas, but only live for you, @deborahross! (retweeted by @deborahross)