Deborah Ross: Pity the poor, overworked fashion hacks

If you ask me...

Share
Related Topics

If you ask me, and as it is London Fashion Week, I would like to take this opportunity to celebrate fashion journalists, particularly those who, on behalf of us all, work so very hard on glossy magazines like Vogue, not only asking the questions that urgently need to be asked – "do trousers still matter?", for example, or: "the cuff, where does it go from here?" – but also tirelessly receiving free handbags and spa treatments on the understanding they will then rave ecstatically about them in print.

After all, it's not as if anybody who happens to be well connected can just truck up and have a go. You thought they could? Seriously? Shows how much you know! There is often rigorous training involved of the kind that might include bidding for an internship at a charity auction, plus you have to know all the people who live in and around Primrose Hill and talk excitedly about the cutest little cupcake shop there.

I'm totally exhausted just thinking about it, and I've yet to mention all those extra, socialite hours you have to put in mingling at parties even though you've had a tough day captioning a photograph of Emma Watson's new hair, and even though you'll probably have to get up early the next morning to put a big black cross on the outfit Carey Mulligan wore to the Baftas. Have you ever tried lifting one of those marker pens? Have you? It can wear you out for weeks.

So don't think it's easy, as it isn't. I mean, could you declare "nude" as this season's colour and not embarrass yourself by asking: "But it's just beige, isn't it?" And wouldn't you embarrass yourself further with stone, ecru, fawn, buff, oatmeal, sand and camel? Could you define this season's accessories as "playful" and then have the courage to leave it there, without defining what kind of playfulness we are discussing exactly? (So playful such accessories repeatedly ring the front door bell and run away? If I had a skinny belt like that, it would drive me bananas.) Could you, even, receive a free Mulberry bag without letting yourself down by shouting about it from the rooftops and into the faces of everyone at the bus-stop? "YES. THEY GAVE IT TO ME FOR FREE! IT'S MENTAL!"

So lay off fashion journalists, though if you want one fashion tip that is true for now and all time, I can give you that personally, and it is this: if the shoe fits, buy the other one, as you don't want to be hopping everywhere. This is a tip of the sort you should value and, for spring and summer 2011, it is also available in taupe.

React Now

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Training Programme Manager (Learning and Development)-London

£28000 - £32000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: Training Programme Manage...

Training/Learning and Development Coordinator -London

£28000 - £32000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Training/Learning and Development Co...

Year 5/6 Teacher

£100 - £120 per day: Randstad Education Chelmsford: The successful applicant w...

Year 5/6 Teacher

£21000 - £35000 per day: Randstad Education Chelmsford: The JobThe successful ...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Believe me, I said, there’s nothing rural about this urban borough’s attempt at a country fair

John Walsh
Tony and Cherie Blair on the day he was elected  

The intensity of the adulation for Blair ought to concern Labour’s ‘new’ man

Steve Richards
Some are reformed drug addicts. Some are single mums. All are on benefits. But now these so-called 'scroungers’ are fighting back

The 'scroungers’ fight back

The welfare claimants battling to alter stereotypes
Amazing video shows Nasa 'flame extinguishment experiment' in action

Fireballs in space

Amazing video shows Nasa's 'flame extinguishment experiment' in action
A Bible for billionaires

A Bible for billionaires

Find out why America's richest men are reading John Brookes
Paranoid parenting is on the rise - and our children are suffering because of it

Paranoid parenting is on the rise

And our children are suffering because of it
For sale: Island where the Magna Carta was sealed

Magna Carta Island goes on sale

Yours for a cool £4m
Phone hacking scandal special report: The slide into crime at the 'News of the World'

The hacker's tale: the slide into crime at the 'News of the World'

Glenn Mulcaire was jailed for six months for intercepting phone messages. James Hanning tells his story in a new book. This is an extract
We flinch, but there are degrees of paedophilia

We flinch, but there are degrees of paedophilia

Child abusers are not all the same, yet the idea of treating them differently in relation to the severity of their crimes has somehow become controversial
The truth about conspiracy theories is that some require considering

The truth about conspiracy theories is that some require considering

For instance, did Isis kill the Israeli teenagers to trigger a war, asks Patrick Cockburn
Alistair Carmichael: 'The UK as a whole is greater than the sum of its parts'

Alistair Carmichael: 'The UK as a whole is greater than the sum of its parts'

Meet the man who doesn't want to go down in history as the country's last Scottish Secretary
Legoland Windsor's master model-makers reveal the tricks of their trade (including how to stop the kids wrecking your Eiffel Tower)

Meet the people who play with Lego for a living

They are the master builders: Lego's crack team of model-makers, who have just glued down the last of 650,000 bricks as they recreate Paris in Windsor. Susie Mesure goes behind the scenes
The 20 best days out for the summer holidays: From Spitfires to summer ferry sailings

20 best days out for the summer holidays

From summer ferry sailings in Tyne and Wear and adventure days at Bear Grylls Survival Academy to Spitfires at the Imperial War Museum Duxford and bog-snorkelling at the World Alternative Games...
Open-air theatres: If all the world is a stage, then everyone gets in on the act

All the wood’s a stage

Open-air productions are the cue for better box-office receipts, new audiences, more interesting artistic challenges – and a picnic
Rand Paul is a Republican with an eye on the world

Rupert Cornwell: A Republican with an eye on the world

Rand Paul is laying out his presidential stall by taking on his party's disastrous record on foreign policy
Self-preservation society: Pickles are moving from the side of your plate to become the star dish

Self-preservation society

Pickles are moving from the side of your plate to become the star dish
Generation gap opens a career sinkhole

Britons live ever longer, but still society persists in glorifying youth

We are living longer but considered 'past it' younger, the reshuffle suggests. There may be trouble ahead, says DJ Taylor