Deborah Ross: Please, posh person, tell me how to save my marriage

If you ask me...

Related Topics

If you ask me, it's a rare day when your prayers are answered, but mine were the other morning when I woke up and thought to myself: "I wish yet another rich Tory would instruct me and other ordinary people on how to live our lives based on no understanding whatsoever", and, blow me, if it wasn't the day Sir Paul Coleridge decided to launch "The Marriage Foundation". Thank you, God! I exclaimed, punching the air jubilantly. I now wish I'd prayed to win the lottery! That said, it does rather feel as if I have done, and one mustn't be greedy.

Sir Paul, a senior judge, who has spoken about how he has kept his own marriage alive – "My wife Lisa and I are holiday junkies... they have become vital in stopping our marriage becoming boring and lifeless" – has launched the foundation to "promote marriage", and, although he doesn't specify how this is to be achieved, I'm hoping that, as someone whose own marriage has limped along boringly and lifelessly for years, it might involve a fully funded two-week cruise of the Caribbean, stopping off at points of interest, and at least one night at the Captain's table. This would certainly perk things up around here!

Anyway, Sir Paul's belief that marriage is "good for society" is based on the work of The Centre for Social Justice, which claims to have shown that the children of parents who stay married have better social outcomes, although, as couples who stay together tend to be higher earners and more highly educated, some might say cause is being confused with correlation, and it's not marriage that's good for society. No, it's decent schools, equality of opportunity and the restitution of, for example, programmes like Sure Start... but that's just silly. After all, it's not as if The Centre for Social Justice can't be trusted, or has a right-wing agenda to push, even if it was founded by Iain Duncan Smith. I'll say it again: silly.

And if heterosexual marriage is good and all else bad, can we look forward to a further slew of stigmatising foundations in the future? I'm hoping so, and would support any of the following: The Single Parents Are Morally Defective Foundation; Bastards Should Be Called As Such Foundation (and should have a "B" after their names in the school register); Wives Whose Husbands Hit Them Should Put Up Or Shut Up Foundation and the Foundation for Keeping The Gays Well Out Of It, as they will only steal your family values (I hope you are still locking your doors).

Is this too much to pray for, do you think? I'm being greedy again, aren't I? Sorry.

React Now

  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Senior Digital Marketing Consultant

£28000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Senior Digital Marketing Cons...

Recruitment Genius: Assistant Stores Keeper

£16640 - £18500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An Assistant Stores Keeper is r...

Recruitment Genius: Claims Administrator

£16000 - £18500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an excellent opportunit...

Recruitment Genius: Software Developer - C# / ASP.NET / SQL

£17000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Developer required to join a bu...

Day In a Page


General Election 2015: The SNP and an SMC (Salmond-Murdoch Conspiracy)

Matthew Norman
'It was first time I had ever tasted chocolate. I kept a piece, and when Amsterdam was liberated, I gave it to the first Allied soldier I saw'

Bread from heaven

Dutch survivors thank RAF for World War II drop that saved millions
Britain will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power - Labour

How 'the Axe' helped Labour

UK will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power
Rare and exclusive video shows the horrific price paid by activists for challenging the rule of jihadist extremists in Syria

The price to be paid for challenging the rule of extremists

A revolution now 'consuming its own children'
Welcome to the world of Megagames

Welcome to the world of Megagames

300 players take part in Watch the Skies! board game in London
'Nymphomaniac' actress reveals what it was really like to star in one of the most explicit films ever

Charlotte Gainsbourg on 'Nymphomaniac'

Starring in one of the most explicit films ever
Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi: The Emirates' out-of-sight migrant workers helping to build the dream projects of its rulers

Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi

The Emirates' out-of-sight migrant workers helping to build the dream projects of its rulers
Vince Cable interview: Charging fees for employment tribunals was 'a very bad move'

Vince Cable exclusive interview

Charging fees for employment tribunals was 'a very bad move'
Iwan Rheon interview: Game of Thrones star returns to his Welsh roots to record debut album

Iwan Rheon is returning to his Welsh roots

Rheon is best known for his role as the Bastard of Bolton. It's gruelling playing a sadistic torturer, he tells Craig McLean, but it hasn't stopped him recording an album of Welsh psychedelia
Russell Brand's interview with Ed Miliband has got everyone talking about The Trews

Everyone is talking about The Trews

Russell Brand's 'true news' videos attract millions of viewers. But today's 'Milibrand' interview introduced his resolutely amateurish style to a whole new crowd
Morne Hardenberg interview: Cameraman for BBC's upcoming show Shark on filming the ocean's most dangerous predator

It's time for my close-up

Meet the man who films great whites for a living
Increasing numbers of homeless people in America keep their mobile phones on the streets

Homeless people keep mobile phones

A homeless person with a smartphone is a common sight in the US. And that's creating a network where the 'hobo' community can share information - and fight stigma - like never before
'Queer saint' Peter Watson left his mark on British culture by bankrolling artworld giants

'Queer saint' who bankrolled artworld giants

British culture owes a huge debt to Peter Watson, says Michael Prodger
Pushkin Prizes: Unusual exchange programme aims to bring countries together through culture

Pushkin Prizes brings countries together

Ten Scottish schoolchildren and their Russian peers attended a creative writing workshop in the Highlands this week
14 best kids' hoodies

14 best kids' hoodies

Don't get caught out by that wind on the beach. Zip them up in a lightweight top to see them through summer to autumn
Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi: The acceptable face of the Emirates

The acceptable face of the Emirates

Has Abu Dhabi found a way to blend petrodollars with principles, asks Robert Fisk