Ellie Levenson: Such cheap snobbery about Wayne's wedding

Related Topics

I'm getting married in eight days' time. We would have done it yesterday, but Westlife had already been booked by Wayne and Coleen. Actually, that's not true. Our mate James is DJing for us instead, and we're having a slightly less glamorous ceremony than theirs on the Italian Riviera, by opting for Walthamstow Register Office instead.

But despite being convinced that my own nuptials are in the best possible taste, as opposed to all the other weddings that are far less classy than my own, I'm not going to join in the snobbery when it comes to Wayne and Coleen. For why shouldn't they get married the way they want to? After all, much as the many interested parties around a couple about to get married think the big day is as much about them as the two tying the knot, weddings are actually just about the couple getting married.

And while it's nice to have family and friends observe as you make a public proclamation of loving someone, and celebrate with you afterwards, that's what they are – observers.

In fact, getting married myself has made me regret the time spent telling one old friend that he should buy a new suit for his wedding and not wear one he already owned. He was far too nice to tell me to butt out and mind my own business, but I did apologise to him once I started getting married and people kept making similarly "helpful" suggestions to me.

For when it comes to weddings there is only one way to get married, and that is to do it exactly the way you want to. As one of my friends who got married last year wrote in the engagement card she sent: "The only worthwhile wedding advice is to decide what you want and ignore anyone who has a contrary opinion." This pearl of wisdom had been passed on to her by another friend who got married 18 months ago, and is one I shall be passing on to the next friend of ours to tie the knot.

The thing is, of course, that weddings are all inherently in bad taste, rubbing the noses of people yet to find love or who have fallen out of love that it is you that is happy, not them. Is there a way to stand at the front of a room with styled hair, over the top make-up and a silly frock screaming "look at me, look at me" without being tasteless? I doubt it.

I do, it is fair to say, make a habit out of defending WAGs. I've written in the past about why Victoria Beckham should be held up as a feminist icon, defending her from attack by men and women, and when Roy Keane spouted off about the footballers who won't move to Sunderland because their wives and girlfriends wouldn't leave behind the shops of London of Manchester, I defended them too.

This isn't because I see being a WAG as a valid career choice. Nor, I hasten to add, because of snobbery over shopping all day, eating lunch and having a generally nice time, but because it upsets me that anybody would define themselves by their man's job, be it the prime minister's wife or the butcher's girlfriend. But Coleen has never done this.

Having met her man when she was just a schoolgirl, and facing media interest that may have made it very difficult to do anything other than the mix of modelling and pseudo-journalism that she currently does, she has made quite a name for herself, to the point that some commentators have said that when Rooney's career is over he may be known as Coleen's husband, not the other way, which, if the implicit misogyny of the word didn't offend me, would make the rather nice acronym of HAG (Husbands and Girlfriends).

We're having a reading at our wedding from Jane Austen's Emma. It is the very last paragraph of the book: "The wedding was very much like other weddings, where the parties have no taste for finery or parade... 'Very little white satin, very few lace veils; a most pitiful business! ...' But, in spite of these deficiencies, the wishes, the hopes, the confidence, the predictions of the small band of true friends who witnessed the ceremony, were fully answered in the perfect happiness of the union."

As per the reading, I am not wearing white at my wedding, and nor will there be lace or satin. And while there was plenty of finery and parade for Wayne and Coleen's day, I hope the same holds true for them, that they have a very happy union and that they stick two fingers up at all the snobs who, under the guise of knowing what is classy, have forgotten that the least classy thing of all is snobbery.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Business Development Manager / Sales - OTE £45,000

£35000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company is a solutions / s...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Executive - OTE £45,000

£18000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Sales Executive is required t...

Recruitment Genius: Test Development Engineer

£35000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you inspired to bring new a...

Recruitment Genius: Trainee Motor Engineer

£14000 - £18000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Kennedy campaign for the Lib Dems earlier this year in Bearsden  

Charles Kennedy: A brilliant man whose talents were badly needed

Baroness Williams
Nick Clegg (R) Liberal Democrat Leader and former leader Charles Kennedy MP, joined the general election campaign trail on April 8, 2010  

Charles Kennedy: The only mainstream political leader who spoke sense

Tim Farron
Sepp Blatter resignation: The beginning of Fifa's long road to reform?

Does Blatter's departure mean Fifa will automatically clean up its act?

Don't bet on it, says Tom Peck
Charles Kennedy: The baby of the House who grew into a Lib Dem giant

The baby of the House who grew into a Lib Dem giant

Charles Kennedy was consistently a man of the centre-left, dedicated to social justice, but was also a champion of liberty and an opponent of the nanny-state, says Baroness Williams
Syria civil war: The harrowing testament of a five-year-old victim of this endless conflict

The harrowing testament of a five-year-old victim of Syria's endless civil war

Sahar Qanbar lost her mother and brother as civilians and government soldiers fought side by side after being surrounded by brutal Islamist fighters. Robert Fisk visited her
The future of songwriting: How streaming is changing everything we know about making music

The future of songwriting

How streaming is changing everything we know about making music
William Shemin and Henry Johnson: Jewish and black soldiers receive World War I Medal of Honor amid claims of discrimination

Recognition at long last

Jewish and black soldiers who fought in WWI finally receive medals after claims of discrimination
Beating obesity: The new pacemaker which helps over-eaters

Beating obesity

The new pacemaker which helps over-eaters
9 best women's festival waterproofs

Ready for rain: 9 best women's festival waterproofs

These are the macs to keep your denim dry and your hair frizz-free(ish)
Cycling World Hour Record: Nervous Sir Bradley Wiggins ready for pain as he prepares to go distance

Wiggins worried

Nervous Sir Bradley ready for pain as he prepares to attempt cycling's World Hour Record
Liverpool close in on Milner signing

Liverpool close in on Milner signing

Reds baulk at Christian Benteke £32.5m release clause
On your feet! Spending at least two hours a day standing reduces the risk of heart attacks, cancer and diabetes, according to new research

On your feet!

Spending half the day standing 'reduces risk of heart attacks and cancer'
With scores of surgeries closing, what hope is there for the David Cameron's promise of 5,000 more GPs and a 24/7 NHS?

The big NHS question

Why are there so few new GPs when so many want to study medicine?
Big knickers are back: Thongs ain't what they used to be

Thongs ain't what they used to be

Big knickers are back
Thurston Moore interview

Thurston Moore interview

On living in London, Sonic Youth and musical memoirs
In full bloom

In full bloom

Floral print womenswear
From leading man to Elephant Man, Bradley Cooper is terrific

From leading man to Elephant Man

Bradley Cooper is terrific