Guy Adams: A strangely sterile approach to sex

LA Notebook

Share
Related Topics

You don't often get a chance to meet "the Fetish-a-go-go chick", so I positively jumped at an invitation to swing by Glamourcon, LA's annual "celebration and marketplace of the glamour arts".

Held at the appropriately glamorous Hilton Hotel near LAX airport this week, the jamboree provided an opportunity to meet, photograph, and get autographs from the stars of America's vibrant pin-up industry.

Dozens of Playboy playmates (the US version of Page 3 girls) had trade stands there, along with models including Kristi Curiali ("the Latin Goddess of Lust") and Fetish-a-go-go, whose real name is Stacy Burke and whose signature item of clothing turned out to be a leather strap securing a pool ball in her mouth.

They were all lovely, of course, yet despite its remit, Glamourcon felt a touch sterile. Eventually, I worked out why: to apparently comply with local licensing requirements, the event had been declared "nudity-free".

America's public morality laws are strange like that. In LA, for example, strip clubs are banned from serving alcohol if the dancers are nude, but allowed if they go topless. No one's ever offered me an adequate explanation as to why.

In the San Fernando Valley a $5bn-a-year hardcore-porn industry flourishes. Yet local TV networks are still being dragged through courts because Janet Jackson exposed half a nipple on live TV in 2004.

Now, at a convention devoted to soft-core smut, nudity turns out to be verboten. I don't understand the reasoning behind this, either. Perhaps Fetish-a-go-go could enlighten me, if she ever gets that pool ball out her gob.

America, you're fired!

Sir Alan Sugar is currently wowing US TV audiences, as BBC America debuts the British version of The Apprentice.

Watching this week, I discovered that the entrepreneur's speeches in the show have been given subtitles, presumably to help Americans understand his accent.

The US and UK are, as they say, divided by a common language, but this seems a bit excessive. Or, as Sir Alan might say, it's a blaaady disgrace.

Beyond the pale

Speaking of cultural divides, LA Times columnist Chris Erskine this week described a trip to the UK, managing in a single sentence to sum up the differences between the British and Californian outlook on life. "You have never seen so many sickly-looking people as here in London," it read. "They have, like, 3,000 pubs here and evidently not a single tanning salon, which is a little warped."

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Tradewind Recruitment: English Teacher

Negotiable: Tradewind Recruitment: My client is an excellent, large partially ...

Tradewind Recruitment: Science Teacher

£90 - £140 per day: Tradewind Recruitment: I am currently working in partnersh...

Tradewind Recruitment: Year 3 Primary Teacher

£100 - £150 per day: Tradewind Recruitment: Year 3 Teacher Birmingham Jan 2015...

Ashdown Group: Lead Web Developer (ASP.NET, C#) - City of London

£45000 - £50000 per annum + Excellent benefits: Ashdown Group: Lead Web Develo...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

i Editor's Letter: Science versus religion in the three-parent baby debate

Oliver Duff Oliver Duff
Kylie has helped to boost viewing figures for the talent show  

When an Aussie calls you a ‘bastard’, you know you’ve arrived

Howard Jacobson
Isis hostage crisis: The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power

Isis hostage crisis

The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power, says Robert Fisk
Missing salvage expert who found $50m of sunken treasure before disappearing, tracked down at last

The runaway buccaneers and the ship full of gold

Salvage expert Tommy Thompson found sunken treasure worth millions. Then he vanished... until now
Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Maverick artist Grayson Perry backs our campaign
Assisted Dying Bill: I want to be able to decide about my own death - I want to have control of my life

Assisted Dying Bill: 'I want control of my life'

This week the Assisted Dying Bill is debated in the Lords. Virginia Ironside, who has already made plans for her own self-deliverance, argues that it's time we allowed people a humane, compassionate death
Move over, kale - cabbage is the new rising star

Cabbage is king again

Sophie Morris banishes thoughts of soggy school dinners and turns over a new leaf
11 best winter skin treats

Give your moisturiser a helping hand: 11 best winter skin treats

Get an extra boost of nourishment from one of these hard-working products
Paul Scholes column: The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him

Paul Scholes column

The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him
Frank Warren column: No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans

Frank Warren's Ringside

No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans
Isis hostage crisis: Militant group stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

Isis stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

The jihadis are being squeezed militarily and economically, but there is no sign of an implosion, says Patrick Cockburn
Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action

Virtual reality: Seeing is believing

Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action
Homeless Veterans appeal: MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’

Homeless Veterans appeal

MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’ to help
Larry David, Steve Coogan and other comedians share stories of depression in new documentary

Comedians share stories of depression

The director of the new documentary, Kevin Pollak, tells Jessica Barrett how he got them to talk
Has The Archers lost the plot with it's spicy storylines?

Has The Archers lost the plot?

A growing number of listeners are voicing their discontent over the rural soap's spicy storylines; so loudly that even the BBC's director-general seems worried, says Simon Kelner
English Heritage adds 14 post-war office buildings to its protected lists

14 office buildings added to protected lists

Christopher Beanland explores the underrated appeal of these palaces of pen-pushing
Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Scientists unearthed the cranial fragments from Manot Cave in West Galilee