Guy Adams: Green lawns don't go with water rationing

LA Notebook

Share
Related Topics

There's never been a hosepipe ban in Los Angeles, which speaks volumes for local engineering, given that the city was built on a parched desert several hundred miles from the Colorado River, from which an aqueduct transports water to local swimming pools and car washes.

That's about to change. A notice landed on the city's doormats this week announcing sprinkler systems used by almost every LA household to keep their lawns lush and flowerbeds in bloom are henceforth illegal, except for on Mondays and Thursdays.

Anyone caught violating this new rule faces a punitive fine. It's part of a state-wide effort to cope with a drought that's left water reserves perilously low and contributed to the apocalyptic wildfires that seem to demolish a new suburb of Santa Barbara or Orange County each month.

Angelenos are a law-abiding breed, and I'd expect the new rules to be honoured – especially since authorities have provided anonymous phone lines to dob in neighbours engaged in so-called "water waste".

But some locals face a Catch-22: in a curious piece of bourgeois nanny-statism, many of LA's "Home Owner Associations" – the authorities that manage residential developments – have draconian bylaws requiring residents to keep front lawns properly green.

What these poor souls now do remains to be seen. On a practical note, perhaps a fairer, long-term solution to the drought problem would be for California to find a way to use the enormous patch of water that sits immediately to its left.

Baron Cohen waxes lyrical

Say what you like about Sacha Baron Cohen, he's certainly prepared to suffer for his art. The comedian's half-naked brush with Eminem at this week's MTV awards revealed his once-hairy buttocks are now as smooth as a ripe peach.

The de-fuzzing signifies his transformation from the hairy sling-back thong aficionado, Borat, into the Austrian fashion reporter Bruno, whose film launches next month. Disappointingly, Cohen has yet to reveal whether his new alter ego waxes or shaves.

Oh Stevie, how could you?

Fleetwood Mac made a long-awaited return to LA last week, allowing a fact-finding visit to the cheap seats sideways-on to the stage.

This revealed that Stevie Nicks now benefits from a TV next to her microphone, screening lyrics to Go Your Own Way, Dreams, and all the other old hits.

Ms Nicks is 61, and those years of rocking and rolling have no doubt taken their toll on her memory. But an autocue feels rum: Mac fans are surely entitled to expect better than a glorified version of karaoke.

React Now

  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Project Implementation Executive

£18000 - £23000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They work with major vehicle ma...

Recruitment Genius: Chiropractic Assistant

£16500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Chiropractic Assistant is needed in a ...

Recruitment Genius: Digital Account Executive - Midlands

£18000 - £26000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They work with major vehicle ma...

Recruitment Genius: Web Developer

£28000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company provides coaching ...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Errors & Omissions: how to spell BBQ and other linguistic irregularities

Guy Keleny
 

South Africa's race problem is less between black and white than between poor blacks and immigrants from sub-Saharan Africa

John Carlin
NHS struggling to monitor the safety and efficacy of its services outsourced to private providers

Who's monitoring the outsourced NHS services?

A report finds that private firms are not being properly assessed for their quality of care
Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

The Tory MP said he did not want to stand again unless his party's manifesto ruled out a third runway. But he's doing so. Watch this space
How do Greek voters feel about Syriza's backtracking on its anti-austerity pledge?

How do Greeks feel about Syriza?

Five voters from different backgrounds tell us what they expect from Syriza's charismatic leader Alexis Tsipras
From Iraq to Libya and Syria: The wars that come back to haunt us

The wars that come back to haunt us

David Cameron should not escape blame for his role in conflicts that are still raging, argues Patrick Cockburn
Sam Baker and Lauren Laverne: Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

A new website is trying to declutter the internet to help busy women. Holly Williams meets the founders
Heston Blumenthal to cook up a spice odyssey for British astronaut manning the International Space Station

UK's Major Tum to blast off on a spice odyssey

Nothing but the best for British astronaut as chef Heston Blumenthal cooks up his rations
John Harrison's 'longitude' clock sets new record - 300 years on

‘Longitude’ clock sets new record - 300 years on

Greenwich horologists celebrate as it keeps to within a second of real time over a 100-day test
Fears in the US of being outgunned in the vital propaganda wars by Russia, China - and even Isis - have prompted a rethink on overseas broadcasters

Let the propaganda wars begin - again

'Accurate, objective, comprehensive': that was Voice of America's creed, but now its masters want it to promote US policy, reports Rupert Cornwell
Why Japan's incredible long-distance runners will never win the London Marathon

Japan's incredible long-distance runners

Every year, Japanese long-distance runners post some of the world's fastest times – yet, come next weekend, not a single elite competitor from the country will be at the London Marathon
Why does Tom Drury remain the greatest writer you've never heard of?

Tom Drury: The quiet American

His debut was considered one of the finest novels of the past 50 years, and he is every bit the equal of his contemporaries, Jonathan Franzen, Dave Eggers and David Foster Wallace
You should judge a person by how they peel a potato

You should judge a person by how they peel a potato

Dave Hax's domestic tips are reminiscent of George Orwell's tea routine. The world might need revolution, but we like to sweat the small stuff, says DJ Taylor
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef's dishes highlight the delicate essence of fresh cheeses

Bill Granger cooks with fresh cheeses

More delicate on the palate, milder, fresh cheeses can also be kinder to the waistline
Aston Villa vs Liverpool: 'This FA Cup run has been wonderful,' says veteran Shay Given

Shay Given: 'This FA Cup run has been wonderful'

The Villa keeper has been overlooked for a long time and has unhappy memories of the national stadium – but he is savouring his chance to play at Wembley
Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own - Michael Calvin

Michael Calvin's Last Word

Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own