Harriet Walker: 'Real women' keep their clothes on in public

IMHO...

Share
Related Topics

How I long for the day when a woman's body is just something attached to her neck; when it's her own business and no one else's.

Model Daisy Lowe has always enjoyed a fairly smooth ride when it comes to intense and perverse physical scrutiny because she is thin (gasp!) but curvy (clap, clap, clap) and therefore embodies The Perfect Woman.

What a shame and how regressive it would be then, for her to flaunt that Perfect Body in a low-rent grotmag. What's that? She's on the cover of Playboy? Of course she is. It's worth remembering that the women whose bodies we're all suppose to try and emulate – those easy-to-come-by 18-inch waists topped with a honking great pair of double-Gs – are usually the ones that men are most interested in too.

What men don't like are catwalk models, who aren't allowed to be called by that zeitgeist-y catch-all "real women" because they're apparently not curvy enough to warrant discussion. But I think we can all agree that "real women" keep their clothes on in public – whether they have the Perfect Body or not.

Of course, Daisy can do what she wants with her bits, and if what she wants is for them to be plastered across the pages of a magazine owned by a priapic octogenarian, it's her call. She's a model – it's her métier. Aside from "getting her biff out", as one colleague terms it, Lowe is also girlfriend to Matt Smith of Doctor Who fame. He might want to think about calling himself Doctor No after he's seen these pictures.

The fading of summer brings with it the exciting drumroll of autumn telly and sumptuous new series. The first of these, The Borgias, starts tonight on Sky Atlantic. It's a rollicking tale of murder, incest and – of course – the Catholic church, with reconstructions of events such as the famous "Chestnut Orgy", when naked women scrambled on the Vatican floors for chestnuts as a Renaissance-era spectator sport. There were prizes later for the man who had the most sex with them. (The women, not the chestnuts – although I'm sure they were involved.)

Those sensual Sabines! Those Machiavellian love machines! If only current power-mongers were half as interesting, you might sigh. But it's not the Borgias' interest they lack, it's their ingenuity and reptilian efficiency. Silvio Berlusconi's bunga-bunga parties are the Chestnut Orgy directly transposed, but with underage sex-workers; German insurance company Hamburg-Mannheimer rewarded its top-sellers with a prostitute party, we found out earlier this year. Pope Alexander VI may not have observed his sacred vows of chastity, but congressman Anthony Weiner beamed pictures of his pants around the world.

Now, I don't want to live in those benighted days of ripped bodices, corruption and religious persecution. But they did do it with more panache back then, didn't they?

Economic pressures and social fractures aside, a large motivation behind this week's riots has been greed, pure and simple. We're more acquisitive now than we ever have been, because we're incapable of creating things for ourselves: we have to go and buy them instead.

Our reliance on transactions makes for an almost permanent state of being ripped off and conned – buying and selling doesn't go two ways when customer service and satisfaction are non-existent. We whinge about advertising standards, we write letters of complaint, we hate budget airlines – nothing we can buy is perceived as being worth it any more, in an age where money is scraped together with so much effort before being frittered away with none whatsoever.

So suspicious are we of being taken for fools, in a world where adverts and "special offers" for the most part assume we are, that any notion of goodwill goes out of the window. No wonder those people ran off with those plasma screens.

React Now

  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Project Implementation Executive

£18000 - £23000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They work with major vehicle ma...

Recruitment Genius: Chiropractic Assistant

£16500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Chiropractic Assistant is needed in a ...

Recruitment Genius: Digital Account Executive - Midlands

£18000 - £26000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They work with major vehicle ma...

Recruitment Genius: Web Developer

£28000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company provides coaching ...

Day In a Page

Read Next
An Italian policeman stands guard as migrants eat while waiting at the port of Lampedusa to board a ferry bound for Porto Empedocle in Sicily. Authorities on the Italian island of Lampedusa struggled to cope with a huge influx of newly-arrived migrants as aid organisations warned the Libya crisis means thousands more could be on their way  

Migrant boat disaster: EU must commit funds to stop many more dying

Alistair Dawber
Illegal African migrants arrive at the port in the Tunisian town of Zarzis, some 50 kilometres west of the Libyan border after Tunisian fishermen rescued 82 African migrants off the coast of the town aboard a makeshift boat bound for the Italian island of Lampedusa  

Migrant boat disaster: This human tragedy has been brewing for four years and EU states can't say they were not warned

Andrew Grice
NHS struggling to monitor the safety and efficacy of its services outsourced to private providers

Who's monitoring the outsourced NHS services?

A report finds that private firms are not being properly assessed for their quality of care
Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

The Tory MP said he did not want to stand again unless his party's manifesto ruled out a third runway. But he's doing so. Watch this space
How do Greek voters feel about Syriza's backtracking on its anti-austerity pledge?

How do Greeks feel about Syriza?

Five voters from different backgrounds tell us what they expect from Syriza's charismatic leader Alexis Tsipras
From Iraq to Libya and Syria: The wars that come back to haunt us

The wars that come back to haunt us

David Cameron should not escape blame for his role in conflicts that are still raging, argues Patrick Cockburn
Sam Baker and Lauren Laverne: Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

A new website is trying to declutter the internet to help busy women. Holly Williams meets the founders
Heston Blumenthal to cook up a spice odyssey for British astronaut manning the International Space Station

UK's Major Tum to blast off on a spice odyssey

Nothing but the best for British astronaut as chef Heston Blumenthal cooks up his rations
John Harrison's 'longitude' clock sets new record - 300 years on

‘Longitude’ clock sets new record - 300 years on

Greenwich horologists celebrate as it keeps to within a second of real time over a 100-day test
Fears in the US of being outgunned in the vital propaganda wars by Russia, China - and even Isis - have prompted a rethink on overseas broadcasters

Let the propaganda wars begin - again

'Accurate, objective, comprehensive': that was Voice of America's creed, but now its masters want it to promote US policy, reports Rupert Cornwell
Why Japan's incredible long-distance runners will never win the London Marathon

Japan's incredible long-distance runners

Every year, Japanese long-distance runners post some of the world's fastest times – yet, come next weekend, not a single elite competitor from the country will be at the London Marathon
Why does Tom Drury remain the greatest writer you've never heard of?

Tom Drury: The quiet American

His debut was considered one of the finest novels of the past 50 years, and he is every bit the equal of his contemporaries, Jonathan Franzen, Dave Eggers and David Foster Wallace
You should judge a person by how they peel a potato

You should judge a person by how they peel a potato

Dave Hax's domestic tips are reminiscent of George Orwell's tea routine. The world might need revolution, but we like to sweat the small stuff, says DJ Taylor
Beige is back: The drab car colours of the 1970s are proving popular again

Beige to the future

Flares and flounce are back on catwalks but a revival in ’70s car paintjobs was a stack-heeled step too far – until now
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef's dishes highlight the delicate essence of fresh cheeses

Bill Granger cooks with fresh cheeses

More delicate on the palate, milder, fresh cheeses can also be kinder to the waistline
Aston Villa vs Liverpool: 'This FA Cup run has been wonderful,' says veteran Shay Given

Shay Given: 'This FA Cup run has been wonderful'

The Villa keeper has been overlooked for a long time and has unhappy memories of the national stadium – but he is savouring his chance to play at Wembley
Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own - Michael Calvin

Michael Calvin's Last Word

Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own