Katy Guest: Rant & Rave (13/11/11)

Share
Related Topics

Rant

You won't find me at the National Gallery's Leonardo da Vinci exhibition, which has already sold out until mid-December and is expected to be the gallery's most packed show ever. I appreciate art and literature and the finer things in life, but as soon as I walk into an art gallery I instantly become a petulant child. A condition known (by me) as Gallery Knee, caused by walking at the pace of 180 slow people, cripples me with the need to sit down and drink a cup of coffee. The inability to see anything apart from the back of someone's very unenigmatic head makes my eyes glaze over. And then I enter the gallery where the couple who've just spent their first night together and have run out of conversation have come to snog, then the room featuring the over-privileged child whose parents are teaching it the valuable life lesson that it is the only important person in the world and can get anything it wants by shouting louder than others. By this stage, I wouldn't stay even if you gave me the Mona Lisa. Good luck to anyone who can.

Rave

I am delighted to learn about William Prynne, the 17th-century pamphleteer whose collected works are expected to fetch £30,000 at Bonham's. A man of strong opinions who was not afraid of sharing them, Mr Prynne railed at various times against actresses ("notorious whores"), stage plays ("heathenish and pernicious corruptions"), long hair on men ("unnatural and unmanly"), short hair on women ("mannish, unnatural, impudent, and unchristian"), and the "unnatural, unthrifty, odious and swinish" habit of drinking toasts. Why, this was the 1600s precursor to modern newspaper columnists! Unfortunately for Prynne, his opinions were not appreciated, and he was imprisoned, fined, had his ears cut off and his book burned. Then his nose was slit and his cheeks branded with the words "seditious libeller". Still, at least Prynne never ranted about the horrors of art galleries, public snogging, and screaming children, or else he would undoubtedly have been subjected to the ultimate indignity: lots of misspelled nasty comments on the internet.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Selby Jennings: VP/SVP Credit Quant- NY- Investment Bank

Not specified: Selby Jennings: VP/SVP Credit Quant Top tier investment bank i...

Ashdown Group: Senior Marketing Executive- City of London, Old Street

£40000 - £43000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: Senior Marketing Executiv...

Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager

£40000 - £43000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: An international organisa...

Ashdown Group: Internal Recruiter -Rugby, Warwickshire

£25000 - £30000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Internal Recruiter -Rugby, Warwicksh...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay's Chris Martin “consciously uncoupled” in March  

My best and worst stories of 2014

Simmy Richman
The Queen spoke of respect for all cultures and faiths in her Christmas message  

Decoding the Queen's speech: Was Her Majesty taking a swipe at Ukip?

Jane Merrick
War with Isis: The West needs more than a White Knight

The West needs more than a White Knight

Despite billions spent on weapons, the US has not been able to counter Isis's gruesome tactics, says Patrick Cockburn
Return to Helmand: Private Davey Graham recalls the day he was shot by the Taliban

'The day I was shot by the Taliban'

Private Davey Graham was shot five times during an ambush in 2007 - it was the first, controversial photograph to show the dangers our soldiers faced in Helmand province
Revealed: the best and worst airlines for delays

Revealed: the best and worst airlines for delays

Many flyers are failing to claim compensation to which they are entitled, a new survey has found
The stories that defined 2014: From the Scottish independence referendum to the Ice Bucket Challenge, our writers voice their opinions

The stories that defined 2014

From the Scottish independence referendum to the Ice Bucket Challenge, our writers voice their opinions
Stoke-on-Trent becomes first British city to be classified as 'disaster resilient' by the United Nations

Disaster looming? Now you know where to head...

Which British city has become the first to be awarded special 'resilience' status by the UN?
Finally, a diet that works: Californian pastor's wildly popular Daniel Plan has seen his congregation greatly reduced

Finally, a diet that works

Californian pastor's wildly popular Daniel Plan has seen his congregation greatly reduced
Say it with... lyrics: The power of song was never greater, according to our internet searches

Say it with... lyrics

The power of song was never greater, according to our internet searches
Professor Danielle George: On a mission to bring back the art of 'thinkering'

The joys of 'thinkering'

Professor Danielle George on why we have to nurture tomorrow's scientists today
Monique Roffey: The author on father figures, the nation's narcissism and New Year reflections

Monique Roffey interview

The author on father figures, the nation's narcissism and New Year reflections
Introducing my anti-heroes of 2014

Introducing my anti-heroes of 2014

Their outrageousness and originality makes the world a bit more interesting, says Ellen E Jones
DJ Taylor: Good taste? It's all a matter of timing...

Good taste? It's all a matter of timing...

It has been hard to form generally accepted cultural standards since the middle of the 19th century – and the disintegration is only going to accelerate, says DJ Taylor
Olivia Jacobs & Ben Caplan: 'Ben thought the play was called 'Christian Love'. It was 'Christie in Love' - about a necrophiliac serial killer'

How we met

Olivia Jacobs and Ben Caplan
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef's breakfasts will revitalise you in time for the New Year

Bill Granger's healthy breakfasts

Our chef's healthy recipes are perfect if you've overindulged during the festive season
Transfer guide: From Arsenal to West Ham - what does your club need in the January transfer window?

Who does your club need in the transfer window?

Most Premier League sides are after a striker, but here's a full run down of the ins and outs that could happen over the next month
The Last Word: From aliens at FA to yak’s milk in the Tour, here’s to 2015

Michael Calvin's Last Word

From aliens at FA to yak’s milk in the Tour, here’s to 2015