Katy Guest: Rant & Rave (13/11/11)

Share
Related Topics

Rant

You won't find me at the National Gallery's Leonardo da Vinci exhibition, which has already sold out until mid-December and is expected to be the gallery's most packed show ever. I appreciate art and literature and the finer things in life, but as soon as I walk into an art gallery I instantly become a petulant child. A condition known (by me) as Gallery Knee, caused by walking at the pace of 180 slow people, cripples me with the need to sit down and drink a cup of coffee. The inability to see anything apart from the back of someone's very unenigmatic head makes my eyes glaze over. And then I enter the gallery where the couple who've just spent their first night together and have run out of conversation have come to snog, then the room featuring the over-privileged child whose parents are teaching it the valuable life lesson that it is the only important person in the world and can get anything it wants by shouting louder than others. By this stage, I wouldn't stay even if you gave me the Mona Lisa. Good luck to anyone who can.

Rave

I am delighted to learn about William Prynne, the 17th-century pamphleteer whose collected works are expected to fetch £30,000 at Bonham's. A man of strong opinions who was not afraid of sharing them, Mr Prynne railed at various times against actresses ("notorious whores"), stage plays ("heathenish and pernicious corruptions"), long hair on men ("unnatural and unmanly"), short hair on women ("mannish, unnatural, impudent, and unchristian"), and the "unnatural, unthrifty, odious and swinish" habit of drinking toasts. Why, this was the 1600s precursor to modern newspaper columnists! Unfortunately for Prynne, his opinions were not appreciated, and he was imprisoned, fined, had his ears cut off and his book burned. Then his nose was slit and his cheeks branded with the words "seditious libeller". Still, at least Prynne never ranted about the horrors of art galleries, public snogging, and screaming children, or else he would undoubtedly have been subjected to the ultimate indignity: lots of misspelled nasty comments on the internet.

React Now

  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Financial Adviser

£20000 - £60000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you recently QCA Level 4 qu...

Recruitment Genius: Senior Director - Product Management

£75000 - £85000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They are the largest and fastes...

Recruitment Genius: HGV Fitter - Technician

£16 per hour: Recruitment Genius: This is a fantastic opportunity for someone ...

Recruitment Genius: Automotive Service Advisor - Franchised Main Dealer

£18000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This successful, family owned m...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

If I were Prime Mininster: I would legislate for abortion on demand and abolish VAT on sanitary products

Caroline Criado-Perez
 

Election catch-up: Just what the election needs – another superficially popular but foolish policy

John Rentoul
Not even the 'putrid throat' could stop the Ross Poldark swoon-fest'

Not even the 'putrid throat' could stop the Ross Poldark swoon-fest'

How a costume drama became a Sunday night staple
Miliband promises no stamp duty for first-time buyers as he pushes Tories on housing

Miliband promises no stamp duty for first-time buyers

Labour leader pushes Tories on housing
Aviation history is littered with grand failures - from the the Bristol Brabazon to Concorde - but what went wrong with the SuperJumbo?

Aviation history is littered with grand failures

But what went wrong with the SuperJumbo?
Fear of Putin, Islamists and immigration is giving rise to a new generation of Soviet-style 'iron curtains' right across Europe

Fortress Europe?

Fear of Putin, Islamists and immigration is giving rise to a new generation of 'iron curtains'
Never mind what you're wearing, it's what you're reclining on

Never mind what you're wearing

It's what you're reclining on that matters
General Election 2015: Chuka Umunna on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband

Chuka Umunna: A virus of racism runs through Ukip

The shadow business secretary on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband
Yemen crisis: This exotic war will soon become Europe's problem

Yemen's exotic war will soon affect Europe

Terrorism and boatloads of desperate migrants will be the outcome of the Saudi air campaign, says Patrick Cockburn
Marginal Streets project aims to document voters in the run-up to the General Election

Marginal Streets project documents voters

Independent photographers Joseph Fox and Orlando Gili are uploading two portraits of constituents to their website for each day of the campaign
Game of Thrones: Visit the real-life kingdom of Westeros to see where violent history ends and telly tourism begins

The real-life kingdom of Westeros

Is there something a little uncomfortable about Game of Thrones shooting in Northern Ireland?
How to survive a social-media mauling, by the tough women of Twitter

How to survive a Twitter mauling

Mary Beard, Caroline Criado-Perez, Louise Mensch, Bunny La Roche and Courtney Barrasford reveal how to trounce the trolls
Gallipoli centenary: At dawn, the young remember the young who perished in one of the First World War's bloodiest battles

At dawn, the young remember the young

A century ago, soldiers of the Empire – many no more than boys – spilt on to Gallipoli’s beaches. On this 100th Anzac Day, there are personal, poetic tributes to their sacrifice
Dissent is slowly building against the billions spent on presidential campaigns – even among politicians themselves

Follow the money as never before

Dissent is slowly building against the billions spent on presidential campaigns – even among politicians themselves, reports Rupert Cornwell
Samuel West interview: The actor and director on austerity, unionisation, and not mentioning his famous parents

Samuel West interview

The actor and director on austerity, unionisation, and not mentioning his famous parents
General Election 2015: Imagine if the leading political parties were fashion labels

Imagine if the leading political parties were fashion labels

Fashion editor, Alexander Fury, on what the leaders' appearances tell us about them
Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka: Home can be the unsafest place for women

Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka: Home can be the unsafest place for women

The architect of the HeForShe movement and head of UN Women on the world's failure to combat domestic violence