After feigning nonchalance and pretending to be typing while watching a TV reflected in his computer screen, one of my friends claimed to be disappointed that the royal wedding had offered no surprises. I can't imagine what kind of surprise he was after.
There was that precious moment outside Westminster Abbey when Kate still had the chance to leg it down Millbank, and the always-tense "Does anyone know of any just cause or impediment...", but Donald Trump wasn't there to ask the bride to produce her birth certificate, so that wasn't likely to go wrong.
Some parties offer opportunities for modernity and individuality; a white wedding is not one of them. But when all that was over – the "I do", the open carriage, the kiss, and then the other kiss – William did have the chance to throw a modern wedding reception. This is where he failed.
As a cider drinker, young Wills had the opportunity to issue a royal warrant to a heritage British industry, to support local agriculture and to show his lighter side by offering guests cider and beer. So what did he do? He insisted on (French) champagne.
Bad choice, Your Highness. But cheers, anyway.
Top hats off to Kate's bridesmaids, who, with the exception of Pippa wantonly upstaging the bride, all performed their task – looking pretty and being excited while walking in a straight line and not visibly wetting themselves – admirably.
Most little girls long to be bridesmaids, and surely it is their right: the flowers, the taffeta, the special day as a princess. (Not many little girls long to stand on a balcony in front of a roaring crowd and an RAF flypast, so they can be forgiven for putting their hands over their ears.)
Little Lady Louise, the cherubic Grace Van Cutsem, along with Eliza and the Honourable Margarita clearly enjoyed their turn at the dressing-up box and the sense of occasion as they flounced around in new dresses and watched the fairytale unfold. And so they should, given that small bridesmaids are the only people who can decently get so excited about frills and princesses and other people's weddings.