Katy Guest: The Rant & Rave of romance (12/02/12)

Share

Rant

Because I have been deleting all the "targeted" Facebook advertising that tells me to get cosmetic surgery and lose three stone ("targeted" at me because I'm female, so sophisticated are their algorithms), I am left with lots of ads for chocolate and flowers. Not chocolate and flowers that I might want to buy myself, that is, but gifts that I am supposed to expect my beloved to buy me.

Apparently, women demand these things on 14 February, and have become so dazzled by advertising and the media that they feel betrayed and insulted if they are not smothered in pink for one day each year. Call me a contrary old feminist, but there's no date in any year on which I accept pink things or sweet nothings whispered by anonymous employees at Hallmark HQ.

So unless you're selling a pint, a curry, and an evening guaranteed to contain no roses, you're targeting the wrong woman.

Rave

I asked my friends to explain to me what exactly is so good about Valentine's Day. "It boosts a beleaguered and failing Royal Mail," said one. "It puts a smile on the faces of divorce lawyers," another commented, "as couples look at each other across expensive tables for two and wonder what on earth they are doing there."

One friend told me that he proposed and was accepted on the day after Valentine's, when tables at fab restaurants were much easier and cheaper to book. Another has a birthday on 16 February and is pleased when early birthday cards make him look popular. But apart from the Royal Mail thing, none of these things is something good about Valentine's Day! Why is everybody colluding in this hateful event?

Surely it is more romantic to write a letter than to buy a card? More thoughtful to cook a warming beef stew than buy chocolate-flavoured candy. More loving to give a massage than send expensive imported roses or support the poor, recession-hit board at De Beers. And more convincing to do any of these all year round rather than on 14 February.

Sorry, reader: I tried, but I cannot rave about Valentine's Day. I'll just shut up until 15 February.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Senior Marketing Manager - Central London - £50,000

£40000 - £50000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager (Campaigns, Offlin...

Head of Marketing - Acquisition & Direct Reponse Marketing

£90000 - £135000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Head of Marketing (B2C, Acquisition...

1st Line Service Desk Analyst

£27000 - £30000 Per Annum: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: Our client who are...

Trainee Recruitment Consultant - Birmingham - Huxley Associates

£18000 - £23000 per annum + Commission: SThree: Huxley Associates are currentl...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Norovirus the food poisoning bug that causes violent stomach flu  

A flu pandemic could decide next year’s election

Matthew Norman
J. Jayalalithaa gestures to her party supporters while standing on the balcony of her residence in Chennai. Former film star Jayalalithaa Jayaram is one of India's most colourful and controversial politicians  

The jailing of former film star Jayalalithaa Jayaram is a drama even Bollywood couldn’t produce

Andrew Buncombe
Isis is an hour from Baghdad, the Iraq army has little chance against it, and air strikes won't help

Isis an hour away from Baghdad -

and with no sign of Iraq army being able to make a successful counter-attack
Turner Prize 2014 is frustratingly timid

Turner Prize 2014 is frustratingly timid

The exhibition nods to rich and potentially brilliant ideas, but steps back
Last chance to see: Half the world’s animals have disappeared over the last 40 years

Last chance to see...

The Earth’s animal wildlife population has halved in 40 years
So here's why teenagers are always grumpy - and it's not what you think

Truth behind teens' grumpiness

Early school hours mess with their biological clocks
Why can no one stop hackers putting celebrities' private photos online?

Hacked photos: the third wave

Why can no one stop hackers putting celebrities' private photos online?
Royal Ballet star dubbed 'Charlize Theron in pointe shoes' takes on Manon

Homegrown ballerina is on the rise

Royal Ballet star Melissa Hamilton is about to tackle the role of Manon
Education, eduction, education? Our growing fascination with what really goes on in school

Education, education, education

TV documentaries filmed in classrooms are now a genre in their own right
It’s reasonable to negotiate with the likes of Isis, so why don’t we do it and save lives?

It’s perfectly reasonable to negotiate with villains like Isis

So why don’t we do it and save some lives?
This man just ran a marathon in under 2 hours 3 minutes. Is a 2-hour race in sight?

Is a sub-2-hour race now within sight?

Dennis Kimetto breaks marathon record
We shall not be moved, say Stratford's single parents fighting eviction

Inside the E15 'occupation'

We shall not be moved, say Stratford single parents
Air strikes alone will fail to stop Isis

Air strikes alone will fail to stop Isis

Talks between all touched by the crisis in Syria and Iraq can achieve as much as the Tornadoes, says Patrick Cockburn
Nadhim Zahawi: From a refugee on welfare to the heart of No 10

Nadhim Zahawi: From a refugee on welfare to the heart of No 10

The Tory MP speaks for the first time about the devastating effect of his father's bankruptcy
Witches: A history of misogyny

Witches: A history of misogyny

The sexist abuse that haunts modern life is nothing new: women have been 'trolled' in art for 500 years
Shona Rhimes interview: Meet the most powerful woman in US television

Meet the most powerful woman in US television

Writer and producer of shows like Grey's Anatomy, Shonda Rhimes now has her own evening of primetime TV – but she’s taking it in her stride
'Before They Pass Away': Endangered communities photographed 'like Kate Moss'

Endangered communities photographed 'like Kate Moss'

Jimmy Nelson travelled the world to photograph 35 threatened tribes in an unashamedly glamorous style