Life on Marsden: A wristband to signal singletons to predators? What a bad idea

There is a common misapprehension that single people are desperate to be outed in public so they can quickly pair off

Share
Related Topics

There's an advertisement for a dating website on the London Underground at the moment that reads as follows: "Wouldn't it be great if you knew that everyone in this carriage was single?" The most accurate and succinct answer to this question can be found on a Northern Line train where someone has written underneath in capital letters: "IT'D BE SHITE."

Just imagine. Men strutting up and down the carriage like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, smiling like a game-show host going into an ad break. Women unable to stop playing with their hair. And a load of single people of both sexes praying for the next stop so they can rush for the relative safety of the escalator. Yeah, it'd be shite.

This misapprehension that single people are desperate to be outed in public so they can quickly pair off, rush to the nearest secluded spot and begin breeding is also evident on a website called mysingleworld.com. It promotes the idea of singletons wearing special "MY" wristbands in order to be easily identifiable to merciless predators, and I'm doing my best not to draw a tasteless parallel with Nazi Germany at this point.

The loved-up couple who misguidedly dreamt up this dystopian nightmare are called Rina and Rob; according to the website, they met and fell in love in Lanzarote, and you know what, they did so without the aid of wristbands. They assert that "identifiable singles are more attractive", but that's not true. They're just easier to spot. Like antelopes with neon targets painted on their backsides.

If I'm going to be charitable, I suppose Rina and Rob are trying to do a nice thing – you know, take the supposed stigma out of being single – but they don't seem to have thought it through. The wristbands come in a range of shades including blue, pink, orange, turquoise, red and black, thus ensuring that from approximately 10 yards away a single person toting a "MY" wristband will be indistinguishable from someone who's on their way back from a great weekend at Bivlington Folk Festival, or someone who's trying to raise awareness of type-2 diabetes.

If being visibly single is your aim, you'd be better off wearing a T-shirt saying "Sufficiently Open to Offers to Wear a T-Shirt Stating as Much", which I'm selling from my website at the bargain price of £15 plus postage and packaging.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Project Coordinator

Competitive: The Green Recruitment Company: The Organisation: The Green Recrui...

Project Manager (HR)- Bristol - Upto £400 p/day

£350 - £400 per annum + competitive: Orgtel: Project Manager (specializing in ...

Embedded Linux Engineer

£40000 - £50000 per annum + competitive: Progressive Recruitment: Embedded Sof...

Senior Hardware Design Engineer - Broadcast

£50000 - £65000 per annum + Benefits: Progressive Recruitment: Working for a m...

Day In a Page

Read Next
The Lada became a symbol of Russia’s failure to keep up with Western economies  

Our sanctions will not cripple Russia. It is doing a lot of the dirty work itself

Hamish McRae
The Israeli ambassador to the US, Ron Dermer, has been dubbed ‘Bibi’s brain’  

Israel's propaganda machine is finally starting to misfire

Patrick Cockburn
Save the tiger: The animals bred for bones on China’s tiger farms

The animals bred for bones on China’s tiger farms

The big cats kept in captivity to perform for paying audiences and then, when dead, their bodies used to fortify wine
A former custard factory, a Midlands bog and a Leeds cemetery all included in top 50 hidden spots in the UK

A former custard factory, a Midlands bog and a Leeds cemetery

Introducing the top 50 hidden spots in Britain
Ebola epidemic: Plagued by fear

Ebola epidemic: Plagued by fear

How a disease that has claimed fewer than 2,000 victims in its history has earned a place in the darkest corner of the public's imagination
Chris Pratt: From 'Parks and Recreation' to 'Guardians of the Galaxy'

From 'Parks and Recreation' to 'Guardians of the Galaxy'

He was homeless in Hawaii when he got his big break. Now the comic actor Chris Pratt is Hollywood's new favourite action star
How live cinema screenings can boost arts audiences

How live cinema screenings can boost arts audiences

Broadcasting plays and exhibitions to cinemas is a sure-fire box office smash
Shipping container hotels: Pop-up hotels filling a niche

Pop-up hotels filling a niche

Spending the night in a shipping container doesn't sound appealing, but these mobile crash pads are popping up at the summer's biggest events
Native American headdresses are not fashion accessories

Feather dust-up

A Canadian festival has banned Native American headwear. Haven't we been here before?
Boris Johnson's war on diesel

Boris Johnson's war on diesel

11m cars here run on diesel. It's seen as a greener alternative to unleaded petrol. So why is London's mayor on a crusade against the black pump?
5 best waterproof cameras

Splash and flash: 5 best waterproof cameras

Don't let water stop you taking snaps with one of these machines that will take you from the sand to meters deep
Louis van Gaal interview: Manchester United manager discusses tactics and rebuilding after the David Moyes era

Louis van Gaal interview

Manchester United manager discusses tactics and rebuilding after the David Moyes era
Will Gore: The goodwill shown by fans towards Alastair Cook will evaporate rapidly if India win the series

Will Gore: Outside Edge

The goodwill shown by fans towards Alastair Cook will evaporate rapidly if India win the series
The children were playing in the street with toy guns. The air strikes were tragically real

The air strikes were tragically real

The children were playing in the street with toy guns
Boozy, ignorant, intolerant, but very polite – The British, as others see us

Britain as others see us

Boozy, ignorant, intolerant, but very polite
How did our legends really begin?

How did our legends really begin?

Applying the theory of evolution to the world's many mythologies
Watch out: Lambrusco is back on the menu

Lambrusco is back on the menu

Naff Seventies corner-shop staple is this year's Aperol Spritz