Life on Marsden: A wristband to signal singletons to predators? What a bad idea

There is a common misapprehension that single people are desperate to be outed in public so they can quickly pair off

Share
Related Topics

There's an advertisement for a dating website on the London Underground at the moment that reads as follows: "Wouldn't it be great if you knew that everyone in this carriage was single?" The most accurate and succinct answer to this question can be found on a Northern Line train where someone has written underneath in capital letters: "IT'D BE SHITE."

Just imagine. Men strutting up and down the carriage like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, smiling like a game-show host going into an ad break. Women unable to stop playing with their hair. And a load of single people of both sexes praying for the next stop so they can rush for the relative safety of the escalator. Yeah, it'd be shite.

This misapprehension that single people are desperate to be outed in public so they can quickly pair off, rush to the nearest secluded spot and begin breeding is also evident on a website called mysingleworld.com. It promotes the idea of singletons wearing special "MY" wristbands in order to be easily identifiable to merciless predators, and I'm doing my best not to draw a tasteless parallel with Nazi Germany at this point.

The loved-up couple who misguidedly dreamt up this dystopian nightmare are called Rina and Rob; according to the website, they met and fell in love in Lanzarote, and you know what, they did so without the aid of wristbands. They assert that "identifiable singles are more attractive", but that's not true. They're just easier to spot. Like antelopes with neon targets painted on their backsides.

If I'm going to be charitable, I suppose Rina and Rob are trying to do a nice thing – you know, take the supposed stigma out of being single – but they don't seem to have thought it through. The wristbands come in a range of shades including blue, pink, orange, turquoise, red and black, thus ensuring that from approximately 10 yards away a single person toting a "MY" wristband will be indistinguishable from someone who's on their way back from a great weekend at Bivlington Folk Festival, or someone who's trying to raise awareness of type-2 diabetes.

If being visibly single is your aim, you'd be better off wearing a T-shirt saying "Sufficiently Open to Offers to Wear a T-Shirt Stating as Much", which I'm selling from my website at the bargain price of £15 plus postage and packaging.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Nursery Nurse

Negotiable: Randstad Education Manchester: Level 3 Nursery Nurse required for ...

Nursery Nurse

Negotiable: Randstad Education Manchester: L3 Nursery Nurses urgently required...

SEN Teaching Assistant

Negotiable: Randstad Education Manchester: We have a number of schools based S...

SEN Teaching Assistant

Negotiable: Randstad Education Manchester: SEN Teaching Assistant required in ...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Now back to the big question: what's wrong with the eurozone?

Hamish McRae
Good old days? Social justice had real meaning for those who lived through the war  

Social justice is political pie in the sky

DJ Taylor
Scottish referendum: The Yes vote was the love that dared speak its name, but it was not to be

Despite the result, this is the end of the status quo

Boyd Tonkin on the fall-out from the Scottish referendum
Manolo Blahnik: The high priest of heels talks flats, Englishness, and why he loves Mary Beard

Manolo Blahnik: Flats, Englishness, and Mary Beard

The shoe designer who has been dubbed 'the patron saint of the stiletto'
The Beatles biographer reveals exclusive original manuscripts of some of the best pop songs ever written

Scrambled eggs and LSD

Behind The Beatles' lyrics - thanks to Hunter Davis's original manuscript copies
'Normcore' fashion: Blending in is the new standing out in latest catwalk non-trend

'Normcore': Blending in is the new standing out

Just when fashion was in grave danger of running out of trends, it only went and invented the non-trend. Rebecca Gonsalves investigates
Dance’s new leading ladies fight back: How female vocalists are now writing their own hits

New leading ladies of dance fight back

How female vocalists are now writing their own hits
Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

A shot in the dark

Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
His life, the universe and everything

His life, the universe and everything

New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
Save us from small screen superheroes

Save us from small screen superheroes

Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
Reach for the skies

Reach for the skies

From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

12 best hotel spas in the UK

Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments
These Iranian-controlled Shia militias used to specialise in killing American soldiers. Now they are fighting Isis, backed up by US airstrikes

Widespread fear of Isis is producing strange bedfellows

Iranian-controlled Shia militias that used to kill American soldiers are now fighting Isis, helped by US airstrikes
Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Shoppers don't come to Topshop for the unique
How to make a Lego masterpiece

How to make a Lego masterpiece

Toy breaks out of the nursery and heads for the gallery
Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Urbanites are cursed with an acronym pointing to Employed but No Disposable Income or Savings
Paisley’s decision to make peace with IRA enemies might remind the Arabs of Sadat

Ian Paisley’s decision to make peace with his IRA enemies

His Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign would surely have been supported by many a Sunni imam