Life on Marsden: A wristband to signal singletons to predators? What a bad idea

There is a common misapprehension that single people are desperate to be outed in public so they can quickly pair off

Share
Related Topics

There's an advertisement for a dating website on the London Underground at the moment that reads as follows: "Wouldn't it be great if you knew that everyone in this carriage was single?" The most accurate and succinct answer to this question can be found on a Northern Line train where someone has written underneath in capital letters: "IT'D BE SHITE."

Just imagine. Men strutting up and down the carriage like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, smiling like a game-show host going into an ad break. Women unable to stop playing with their hair. And a load of single people of both sexes praying for the next stop so they can rush for the relative safety of the escalator. Yeah, it'd be shite.

This misapprehension that single people are desperate to be outed in public so they can quickly pair off, rush to the nearest secluded spot and begin breeding is also evident on a website called mysingleworld.com. It promotes the idea of singletons wearing special "MY" wristbands in order to be easily identifiable to merciless predators, and I'm doing my best not to draw a tasteless parallel with Nazi Germany at this point.

The loved-up couple who misguidedly dreamt up this dystopian nightmare are called Rina and Rob; according to the website, they met and fell in love in Lanzarote, and you know what, they did so without the aid of wristbands. They assert that "identifiable singles are more attractive", but that's not true. They're just easier to spot. Like antelopes with neon targets painted on their backsides.

If I'm going to be charitable, I suppose Rina and Rob are trying to do a nice thing – you know, take the supposed stigma out of being single – but they don't seem to have thought it through. The wristbands come in a range of shades including blue, pink, orange, turquoise, red and black, thus ensuring that from approximately 10 yards away a single person toting a "MY" wristband will be indistinguishable from someone who's on their way back from a great weekend at Bivlington Folk Festival, or someone who's trying to raise awareness of type-2 diabetes.

If being visibly single is your aim, you'd be better off wearing a T-shirt saying "Sufficiently Open to Offers to Wear a T-Shirt Stating as Much", which I'm selling from my website at the bargain price of £15 plus postage and packaging.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Guru Careers: Software Developer / C# Developer

£40-50K: Guru Careers: We are seeking an experienced Software / C# Developer w...

Guru Careers: Software Developer

£35 - 40k + Benefits: Guru Careers: We are seeking a Software Developer (JavaS...

SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant / Resourcer

£18000 - £23000 per annum + Commission: SThree: As a Trainee Recruitment Consu...

Ashdown Group: UI Developer - (UI, HTML, CSS, JavaScript, AngularJS)

£25000 - £40000 per annum: Ashdown Group: UI Developer - (UI, JavaScript, HTML...

Day In a Page

 

In Sickness and in Health: 'I'm really happy to be alive and to see Rebecca'

Rebecca Armstrong
Abuse - and the hell that came afterwards

Abuse - and the hell that follows

James Rhodes on the extraordinary legal battle to publish his memoir
Why we need a 'tranquility map' of England, according to campaigners

It's oh so quiet!

The case for a 'tranquility map' of England
'Timeless fashion': It may be a paradox, but the industry loves it

'Timeless fashion'

It may be a paradox, but the industry loves it
If the West needs a bridge to the 'moderates' inside Isis, maybe we could have done with Osama bin Laden staying alive after all

Could have done with Osama bin Laden staying alive?

Robert Fisk on the Fountainheads of World Evil in 2011 - and 2015
New exhibition celebrates the evolution of swimwear

Evolution of swimwear

From bathing dresses in the twenties to modern bikinis
Sun, sex and an anthropological study: One British academic's summer of hell in Magaluf

Sun, sex and an anthropological study

One academic’s summer of hell in Magaluf
From Shakespeare to Rising Damp... to Vicious

Frances de la Tour's 50-year triumph

'Rising Damp' brought De la Tour such recognition that she could be forgiven if she'd never been able to move on. But at 70, she continues to flourish - and to beguile
'That Whitsun, I was late getting away...'

Ian McMillan on the Whitsun Weddings

This weekend is Whitsun, and while the festival may no longer resonate, Larkin's best-loved poem, lives on - along with the train journey at the heart of it
Kathryn Williams explores the works and influences of Sylvia Plath in a new light

Songs from the bell jar

Kathryn Williams explores the works and influences of Sylvia Plath
How one man's day in high heels showed him that Cannes must change its 'no flats' policy

One man's day in high heels

...showed him that Cannes must change its 'flats' policy
Is a quiet crusade to reform executive pay bearing fruit?

Is a quiet crusade to reform executive pay bearing fruit?

Dominic Rossi of Fidelity says his pressure on business to control rewards is working. But why aren’t other fund managers helping?
The King David Hotel gives precious work to Palestinians - unless peace talks are on

King David Hotel: Palestinians not included

The King David is special to Jerusalem. Nick Kochan checked in and discovered it has some special arrangements, too
More people moving from Australia to New Zealand than in the other direction for first time in 24 years

End of the Aussie brain drain

More people moving from Australia to New Zealand than in the other direction for first time in 24 years
Meditation is touted as a cure for mental instability but can it actually be bad for you?

Can meditation be bad for you?

Researching a mass murder, Dr Miguel Farias discovered that, far from bringing inner peace, meditation can leave devotees in pieces
Eurovision 2015: Australians will be cheering on their first-ever entrant this Saturday

Australia's first-ever Eurovision entrant

Australia, a nation of kitsch-worshippers, has always loved the Eurovision Song Contest. Maggie Alderson says it'll fit in fine